All Comments on 'Necessity for a Toy Boy'

Try to think of dialog as something people would actually say. Your dialog seems stilted and not natural. A good story concept and with some good editing a good read. With a bit of work you may be able to raise the ranking of this story.

Keep trying.

I appreciate your criticism.

I wonder, to you do editing? Would you like to edit this story for me?

Alex.

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I enjoyed your story. I hope you write more about Jimmie and his exploits with older women.