All Comments on 'New Business, Old Business Ch. 01'

good story,get #2 out soon.

your early works in most cases - both in discipline and style. Better and better is what is seen in "this" story.

Exceptions will occur as part of the learning curve such as the preggy wife story who was a escort whore when he knowingly married said whore - a twist that ruined a lot of effort and a basically good story. Poor judgement used to try to spice up a Valentine Story???

But to look at this story to date is a big step forward from your old norm - congrats. author - with high Regard

I'm not sure why this needs a chpt. 2 ... the story seems to endly neatly here. It didn't seem to make a whole lot of sense to me--a wife cheating on her husband the private investigator and 10th degree dan--but it was okay. One grammatical note -- the noun is 'effect' ... but you used it as a verb, which should have been 'affect'.

The premise of the story is reasonable, however some sentenances are choppy and disjointed. Plus I wonder how long have they really been married? The first paragraph says twenty years and the second mentions your wife of 18.

Why does this need a 2nd chapter? Did you read these sentences?

"I told him a lot of what we did." and "Here I had the most wonderful man in the whole world and I cheated on him."

She didn't tell him everything, and, granted after hearing his definition of cheating, freely admitted that she had cheated on him with the one with whom she did this. This, coupled with the very fact that the writer labeled this as only the 1st chapter, implies that she did in fact fuck him.

Very good story and I can see with this security firm buildup you are going to expand on its use or purpose. What kind of danger is his family going to be in? What about her lover Mr. Frank Scroggins and his obvious threats? What about the young new hire who sticks out from the other security guys? Is Sandy going to come completely clean on what she has sexually been doing for 20 some years? Does Sandy remember where Bill Clinton liked to put his cigars when they were together? Woops wrong story that was Monica.

Thank you for the great story

Like it so far. Nice emotion and suspense.

Dont understand how some can think its over as it stands though. Between the outstanding lie and half-truths, and her just generally unbelievable story, it seems clear that there is more to it than youve told us so far.

She wasnt at all sorry or repentant until it became clear that she couldnt lie her way out of things then she turned on the waterworks. Even her confession didnt make much sense (first she thought she had permission but still didnt think he would accept it so she hid her affair from him???) so it seems like she is just trying to make the crisis go away so she can later resume her activities once the heat is off.

- she was distant emotionally and physically for months prior to the blow out.

- she told him off when he questioned her getting dressed up to go out (to meet her lover as it later turns out)

- she lied repeatedly when he tried to find out what was going on and again tried to lay the blame on him for not trusting her

- etc etc etc

Really doesnt seem like the behaviour of someone who was being coerced into a situation she didnt want to be in. Seems like a person who was doing what she wanted and didnt care much for her husband or have any real qualms until after things started to go down the shitter. If she was being coerced, wouldnt she have shown some emotion before she was on the verge of losing everything?

My theory is that the recordered conversation was staged. Between the wifes behaviour before and during the confrontation, it seems like more is going on than she has admitted so far. She knows her husband is an investigator and she knows her stupid story didnt hold water and that he must still have all kinds of doubts. Maybe she even found the recording device. Anyway, she either calls her lover or just talks to herself and spouts all kind of shit about how great and tough (but tender) and loving and studly etc. her husband is. The whole conversation was just too much given her behaviour up until the time he walked out (not to mention saying she would kill herself rather than screw the guy - silly given how little emotion she showed while dressing up and lying to her husband then going out to meet him).

Could be im totally off base again and she really did just wake up when confronted with losing her marriage but it doesnt seem very likely so far.

Cant wait for the next part(s). Thanks for writing.

Some of the best stories are the ones about ordinary people with ordinary skills and regular looks.

to see something new from you and as usual, i did enjoy it i love how you use military type stuff and family in alot of your stories. Look forward to the next chapter hope its soon. Thanks for sharing with us. respectfully fan in Texas naynay

very good story could stand alone unless he checkes the other two recorders and finds more

Grey Eagle:

A real nice start. Please don't take too long for the next chapter. Thank You. Ronnie W.

I was thinking she was a slut, but thank God she wasn't. She made a forgivable mistake. I doubt she'll do anything that stupid again. Loved the story. Keep them coming. I;m addicted. Luie

I'm with Ronnie...you've got me hooked. Now let's see what you do. You've pretty well left it wide open on where the tale could go. Is she a slut??? Is she telling the truth??? Will she be able to not see him again???

all the negatives should just shut up Its starting out rather good. I just keep looking for the next chapter to come out and really hope arthur does not keep us waiting too much longer. I think these stories should be written so thay can be posted each day until finished. I hope everyone would agree with this. It would make the reading great for those of us that tend to have a little laps in memory if we have to wait to long for next chapters to come out. In other words lets get the story rolling Grey Eagle.

Good solid start. Interesting characters.

Now I can read the second chapter.

Regards, DJ

Sorry that I had to be anonymous this time. I worried about one little line. After she had "confessed" and was calling Frank, she said "I told him MOST of what we did".

I don't think she told him everything and I believe she did cheat at some time. If you had cleared up that line, I could have gone up to 100%.

Wifet is holding back why dont you write another chapter telling her side of why she held back in what she did with frank or just get husband to sweat it out of Frank commando style have frank hanging by his thumbs over a fire while he tells Bill what he did with his wife .then have bill do a karate kick on him.

Atlanta,Ga

I hope you continue with this story it has lots of mystery in it.

Pat

For some reason the fact that he went back to her and that she then told him about Frank, only partially leaves me wanting him to go back out the door. But then again, with his kind of money he may not be able to afford to divorce her and still hold onto his company. Anyway you cut it, I have bad feeling about where the story is going!

She fucks Frank and he takes her back? Don't care how tough a karate guy, ex-linebacker he is. He's still a fucking wimp. Wimp is a weakness of mind, generally associated with non-men and women, has nothing to do with martial arts or football!

Did I say, Cuck? I bet he even sucked out Frank's creampie!

...for the proof you either don´t know what exactly "a wimp" ist - or that you have probs reading. Eagle - I loved it..

"Frank, Bill knows about us. I told him a lot of what we did."

and she told Bill that she told him everything they did.

you can't compare which one is the better lover, unless you have . . . .

Very well written. Five stars.

He is a better man than I

but they generally come up short. This one, however, is off to a VG start. I sometimes skip a series in which the last chapter scores so much lower than the first chapters. I'll press on to see what pissed those readers off.

Better than most of your stories, thus far. I just hope he stays in character. But if he finds out she has lied to him about the level of her unfaithfulness, will he have the backbone to terminate their relationship. If her old boyfriend tries to move the relationship along, what is hubby prepared to do to terminate that effort? The world will not mourn over the loss of an adulterer.

20 years to 18 in a paragraph

Last page of final chapter AUTHOR TURNS BILL INTO ACCEPTING CUCKOLD AS HIS EMPLOYEE, CHUCK, HIS PARTNER MIKE'S SON, STRIPS SANDY SUCKS HER NIPPLES HARD AND AT HER REQUEST FUCKS HER WHILE FULLY CLOTHED BILL SITS AND WATCHES!

Only read further if that is you thing.

Made me ill

Will see where this goes. Hope she's not stringing him along

Really badly written

No no and hell no

Very well written and erotic. Good chart introduction and development

Looked good for once, but after reading comments don't want to ruin what was written, I think writer needs to change from loving wives to loving husbands section if he was cuck endings, not sure if anyone else has noticed but writer struggles keeping what appears to be a good story and turns it in drivel

Why is there trouble in paradise when there is such a solid foundation? Boredom, curiosity, a humdrum being taken for granted? What did spouse really desire?

5 stars from me.

But as a former Shotokan student, being an "expert" in Karate does mean always being in control of one's punches and kicks. Not hurting people in sporting contests, e.g.

Now MMA is different, if that is what he was doing.

So she did cheat? He should go karate Frank’s slimey ass.