by nighttimeplaytime
Has been mentioned in the New Story Reviews thread on the Lit forum (Author's Hangout).
I like the premise of your story, and you have moments when your writing is beautiful. But editing errors are distracting, as is the repition of words such as 'penis.' Perhaps changing up word choice a bit would make your writing more exciting, less redundant.
Kudos for the repetitive use of the hotword "penis" in this powerfully erotic story! For me, and I think for many others, the word "penis" is by itself very sexually stimulating. I masturbate my penis every day to Literotica stories, and derive incredible sexual stimulation from the word "penis" as used in stories like this. Keep it up!