Nights in Rodan Ch. 05

Leni walked off the field with Kieran at her side.

"What am I going to do with a wife who could kill me?" he playfully asked.

"Never irritate me." she smiled wide as Kieran laughed. She thought of how he'd pleased her the night before and wondered if she should allow him to do it again. It was enjoyable but, it had no deeper meaning for her. She sighed and thought they would figure it out as they went along.

The bath was drawn when they got back to their rooms. Rayn was hovering at the end of the hall waiting, looking very agitated. He beckoned Kieran to come and talk to him but he wouldn't look at Leni. He was being so secretive since they had been back in Rodan, she found herself instantly annoyed. She quickly undressed and slipped into the warm bath. A moment later she heard Rayn shouting, before she could go see what was wrong Kieran opened the door and then slammed it behind him. He was rubbing his jaw with one hand and his other was on his hip. She thought he looked angry. She heard him knock something over and then he stalked into the bathing room, stripped his clothes, and threw them forcefully to the ground. Leni had never seen him this irritated.

"Everything alright?" she asked curiously as he stepped down to join her in the bath.

"It's nothing. Rayn wants you to meet him in his quarters tomorrow morning. He is going to teach you how to block other people from accessing your mind." He sounded tense but he leaned back and closed his eyes.

"I see..." her voice trailed off. She sat in silence for a moment and then started washing her hair absently. Kieran sighed, she thought if he wanted to talk about it he would say something but he didn't. She combed the tangles out of her hair as he washed himself quickly.

"I'd like to send a note to Iona , can you deliver it tomorrow?" she asked.

"It's better if you tell me, notes can be stolen and I have an excellent memory." He assured her.

"Oh," she said quietly.

Kieran watched her bathing in the pool. Rayn was such a fool for not asking his father to change his mind about the engagement. If he wanted her for himself he should have asked her to marry him! It wasn't Kieran's place to question the King's will.

He noticed her biting the corner of her lower lip, she was thinking hard about something. He didn't have the guts to tell her she had been saying Rayn's name in her sleep and he didn't want to tell her Rayn had just punched him in the jaw because he found out about last night from reading her thoughts at the training grounds. She was surrounded by cowards, she deserved better from them.

"We're friends, yes?" he asked her directly.

She looked at him, confused, "Yes, of course we are."

"Can you tell me the truth?"

"Yes." She said slowly.

"Do you enjoy my company?" he quizzed her.

"I do." She was honest.

"Did you enjoy what we did last night?" he raised an eyebrow.

She smiled, "Yes, I did."

He sighed and crossed the pool to be closer to her. "I know you want to make the best of the situation. Maybe someday we will be more than we are now."

She took his hand, "I would be very happy if that happened, Kieran but I can't make any promises." She seemed sad.

"I know." He said, his voice resigned, as he affectionately stroked some wet strands of her hair behind her shoulder. He kissed her benignly on the lips before getting out of the bath to go to bed. Maybe someday he would love her the way she deserved. Maybe they'd have an arrangement so many other nobleman had with their wives, discretionary affairs. He was disappointed at the thought; he'd never wanted a marriage like that.

**

Rayn sat in his rooms staring at the crackling fire, with his fourth glass of brandy in his hand. He slowly opened and closed his other hand, he'd hurt his knuckles when he clocked Kieran and now they were throbbing. How could he; how could they? It was bad enough he sensed her feelings; but worse that he could see the images in her mind, images of them together and the pleasure Kieran had brought her. Rayn tried to convince his father to simply put her under house arrest in the guest quarters but the stubborn King refused to let her be unattached. Rayn became so frustrated that he threw his glass into the fire, the alcohol feeding the flames. He was so drunk now he could see her curved figure dancing in the flames, mocking him. His anger flared even more, he clenched his jaw and paced the floor for hours with another glass in hand. He finally fell into bed in a stupor, too drunk to feel the pain anymore.

**

Kieran left before dawn to pass on Eleanor's message. He told her he thought it would be safer for them both if he didn't know where Iona and Lukas were living. She assured Kieran that her friend Grinley would know where they were hidden and even under pain of death he would never betray her. She only wanted to know if Lukas was alright and tell them she would come for them soon. She and Kieran talked over breakfast and had decided after things calmed down and they were married they would move back to Proteria and take her family with them. She hadn't lived there in many years so no one would know her now. They would visit Rodan occasionally, but always alone. Leni dressed in a hunter green dress with golden trim to go see Rayn, she was frustrated that all her dresses were too revealing. She asked Mary if there was a chance she might be able to wear something more conservative. Mary seemed confused, all Oneandran women of noble birth dressed this way she assured her.

"But I am Rodanian," Leni told her.

"The King had these made for you, miss." Mary didn't understand why anyone wouldn't want to dress this way.

"Nevermind," Leni was a little irritated; she let Mary lace up the back of the dress but refused to wear a corset under it. She hated feeling bound.

"Mary, will you show me where the Prince's rooms are?" she asked before Mary rushed out. The petite woman nodded, her loose brown curls bouncing around her round face.

Eleanor paid attention this time so she would remember where things were. They passed the great hall and went up the wide staircase; Rayn's rooms were at the back of the castle overlooking a private courtyard.

"Thank you Mary." She said quietly. The girl seemed surprised at her politeness. Leni hadn't seen anyone thanking their attendants since she had been here and found it more than a little rude. Mary didn't respond and went about her business. Oh well, Leni thought, at least she tried. She steeled her nerves and knocked.

**

Rayn woke suddenly to the knocking.

Damnit. He'd slept most of the morning, his head was pounding. He vowed never to drink that much over a woman again.

There was the knock again. Curse it!

"Enter." He called out gruffly. The sound of his voice echoed in the chamber and made his head pound even worse.

Leni entered the room but didn't see Rayn. She noticed his rooms were much bigger and more elegant than her guest quarters; the walls were decorated with family tapestries and trophy game. The bedroom and bath were separate from the sitting room.

"Your Highness?" she called, as she looked around.

Rayn entered the sitting room in wrinkled clothing; he was bleary eyed like he had just woken up. Leni noticed the uncorked and empty bottles on the floor near the fire. He was definitely hung-over.

"I can come back later," she offered.

"No, you're here now. We can start." He snapped his fingers and two attendants appeared behind her in the doorway. One carried a tray of food and the other went into the bedroom.

"Sit." Rayn gestured to the group of chairs in front of the stone fireplace. She took a seat and tried not to kick any bottles.

As the attendant who brought the tray turned to leave Rayn commanded him, "Bring the healer to me."

The tall slim man nodded, "Yes Your Highness," he said and disappeared. A couple of moments passed and the other attendant exited after picking up the empty bottles.

"Should we wait until you are feeling better?" Leni asked.

"I feel fine." He said curtly.

"Alright, where are we starting?" She ignored his attitude. She actually felt prepared, because she had been reading the book Ramsey gave her and felt she understood the basic concepts of how this type of magic worked.

"I'm going to teach you how to keep people from reading your thoughts and feelings. Now that you know how to use your offensive magic, you need to know how to protect your mind from those who might wish to influence it." He explained as he rubbed his head with his fingers.

Leni grabbed an empty glass from the table next to her and poured some water into it, "Here," she held it out to him.

He looked a little surprised but took it," Thank you," he said before taking a drink.

"I want you to think about building a wall in your mind. Close your eyes and picture it, each stone sliding into place around your mind. Reinforce it, concentrate on it, commit that image to memory." He explained, "Now picture something in your mind, maybe something you don't usually share with others."

She held the drawing of her mother in her mind and pictured the drawing coming to life, smiling at her, loving her like only her mother could. She felt the sadness of never knowing her.

"I can feel your sadness." She heard Rayn's voice, "I am going to try and see what you are thinking. Remember your wall; concentrate on protecting your thoughts."

She took a breath and nodded. Rayn took the chance to look at her while her eyes were closed. Her face was placid; the dress she was wearing complemented her hair perfectly. He shook his head, the less time he spent dwelling on her the better. He opened his mind and sensed her; it was easy with her so close. He felt the wall she had built and pushed. It took a moment but gave way. He saw what she was seeing; a raven haired woman with intense grey eyes and a hooked X birthmark. It must be her mother, he thought to himself. He felt the intense sadness that accompanied the image. Leni regretted never knowing her and wished she could tell her how she missed her influence. Rayn felt a familiar pang in his heart; his own mother, Morgana, died when he was 13.

A knock at the door ripped them both out of the subconscious world. Leni's stormy blue eyes were bright and glittering when she opened them.

"Enter." Rayn looked away from her. He asked the healer to mend his headache and then the man was gone again. Rayn finished his glass of water and started eating without another word.

She hated the silent treatment he was giving her, how childish it was. She poured herself a glass of water to sip while he finished eating his breakfast, even though it was almost noon.

"Your wall was a good effort but I pushed past it fairly easily. You must put it up with more intention. The power behind our magic is intention." He explained. She nodded and remembered the book saying something similar, "Try again," he suggested.

She pictured her father this time. She saw the sword battle that took his life, something she had never remembered before now. She explored the memory and put up her wall. She definitely did not want Rayn to see this. She felt a light push on her mind and this time she pushed back.

"Good," she heard Rayn saying. He pushed a little harder, but she held firm.

"Very good." He said, and she felt him retreat.

She sighed and opened her eyes; he was half smiling at her.

"I'm going to go change my clothes and I want you to just wait here and think. I may try to push into your mind without warning and I want you to keep me out." He stood and walked away from her, untucking his shirt as he went.

She sighed and finished her water, then snuck a piece of cheese off the breakfast tray. She smiled and wondered if Rayn would notice.

"Of course I noticed," She heard Rayn's scolding voice in her head, "your wall isn't up."

She pushed him out fairly easily but had a feeling he wasn't using the full force of his power on her. She glanced towards the bedroom and tried to wipe her mind clean of any thoughts at all. Rayn appeared in the doorway, clad only in pants and wiping his face dry with a cloth. His thick shoulders were her undoing. He stared back at her. She felt guilty seeing him this way, she wondered if Kieran would be upset knowing she was still attracted to Rayn. His mind pushed on hers again and she pushed back hard. She saw his eyebrows rise in surprise.

"There's something you don't want me to know?" He said out loud to her.

"Yes." She said firmly.

"What could it be?" he walked closer to her and asked.

"Nothing." She looked up at him, he dwarfed her when she was seated and it was very uncomfortable. She knew he couldn't sense that thought but he sat down across from her and leaned forward in his chair. His lightly scarred shoulders were begging to be touched. Her fingers itched and she closed her hands around her empty glass tighter. He stared her down, the golden flecks in his deep brown eyes shone brightly. She pushed back on him hard, and felt the full weight of his mind bear down on hers. She clenched her jaw tightly.

The glass exploded into a million shards in her hands. She didn't have any cuts but there was a mess on the floor.

"I'm sorry." She explained.

"No no, it's alright. I wanted to see how far I could push you. You're stronger than I thought you would be so soon," he sounded amused. He pulled open the door and told the attendant to clean up. He walked back over to her and offered her his hand. When she took it, she felt like lightening ran down her arm and into his hand. He pulled back in surprise, inadvertently yanking her out of her chair.

"Relax," he suggested.

"Ray-" she corrected herself just in time, "Your Highness, I hope I didn't hurt you." She was quiet.

"No, just surprised me." He massaged his hand with his other and the attendant left the room.

He wondered how long they could stand there together, she was very close to him but the chair was behind her and she had nowhere else to escape him. She took his hand in hers and massaged the palm.

"Better?" she asked as she looked up and noticed a scratch on his chest. It must have been from the shattered glass. He was still holding the cloth in his other hand. She reached for it and gently wiped the small trickle of blood but it required her to lean even closer to him. Rayn took a deep breath as she invaded his space and he swore her hand lingered; he grabbed it and held it against his heart before she could pull it away. She turned her head away from him and he kicked himself mentally. He wanted to have her, right now.

"Don't." she told him. Her eyes rose to meet his, they were the most intense he had ever seen them. He pushed into her thoughts, not prepared for what he would see.

His desire overtook her mind, she'd let her wall down. She tried to put it up quickly but it was too late. He saw the images of them tangled together in a lover's embrace. There were flashes of them bathed in golden morning light lying in bed; her head nestled in the crook of his arm. She tried to pull her hand away but he held on. He heard her say his name, wrap her arms around him, and kiss him fiercely. He saw all the erotic things she had ever imagined him doing to her.

NO!

She yanked her hand away from his, breaking the connection. She pushed past him for the door. How dare he push past her barriers, she was angry at herself for letting him in.

"Eleanor, come here." He said it firmly and reached for her.

"No! Stop trying Rayn, just....stop. You know we can't." she was angry and hurt.

"Then why are you torturing me?" his voice was pained and it killed her to hear it, "Answer me," he commanded her.

"No. I can't, there are things. There are things you can't know. You can't fix this." she shook her head and opened the door to leave.

"Please, "he started to tell her that he would do whatever he could for her. But she was gone. He walked to the door and closed it behind her. He felt like punching something he was so frustrated.

**

She spent the rest of the day in her room. Rayn knocked on her door but she refused to see him. She felt him push on her mind and she forced him out. She heard his voice in her mind, asking her to talk to him. He wondered what she was hiding.

"Get out!" she shouted at the door. She felt him leave and emptiness filled all the space he left behind. She was convinced he would never forgive her if he found out what she was really hiding from him.

By the time Kieran came back at dusk he found her curled in a chair, staring off into space. She didn't even hear him come in. Mary informed him that she had refused to eat. He put a hand on her shoulder gently making her almost jump out of her skin.

"Are you alright?' he asked. She sighed and moved to him, putting her arms around his hard chest and laying her head against his shoulder.

"Oh," he sounded surprised but put his arms around her anyway to reassure her. She was obviously upset and didn't want to talk about it, he had a suspicion she was upset by something Rayn had done or said. Kieran hoped his news would make her happy. "I have news for you my friend," he whispered into her ear. She pulled away and her eyes looked brighter.

"Tell me," she had to know.

"Your family is well but the little one misses you, he keeps saying your name. Your friend assured me they are safe and well hidden." he kept whispering, it was their one great secret.

"Thank you," she started to cry. "he says my name now?"

"Yes." Kieran smiled down at her warmly.

She cried even harder, Gods she missed him so much. She longed to run her fingers through his soft hair and see his sweet little smile. She had never been apart from him before and it felt like she had been gone an eternity. Kieran tried to soothe her and hugged her close. He couldn't imagine the pain of a mother being separated from her child; it explained so much of the way she reacted to him and to Rayn also. She thanked him no less than ten more times before they went to bed together. Leni held Kieran's hand in her sleep and her nightmares did not return.

For three weeks she had daily "lessons" outdoors with Riley and Ramsey. Kieran sometimes joined them but he had other duties with the soldiers that needed his attention. She avoided Rayn completely although she always felt him lurking when she was outside or walking in the castle. She could never tell if it was just his mental presence or if he was physically following her. She spent her free time reading in Ramsey's study. She discovered numerous records about her family and enjoyed pouring over them. There was so much she didn't know. It proved very educational for her not only to learn her family history but also the role of a monarch as a ruler and diplomat.

Things with Kieran were awkward at times, they cared for each other the way friends did and even though they tried to be openly loving, Eleanor's heart just wasn't in it. She thought Kieran was disappointed and hurt but he assured her that it did not bother him. In truth he knew Rayn would most likely always be the man her heart wanted. It would be better and easier if they could distance themselves from him. Internally, Kieran mourned the loss of a man he considered his brother; a man who had become distant during their interactions, depressed even. Kieran hadn't seen him in such a dark mood in years. The mood consumed him and he refused to speak about it. It hurt Kieran to see Rayn and Eleanor longing for each other as much as they did. Eleanor hid it well, but he knew why she avoided Rayn; she was determined to be a wife Kieran would be proud of, not one people would whisper about.

One night before Leni fell asleep, she turned over and asked Kieran, "Do you think I would be allowed to leave the castle?"

He thought for a moment, "I am not sure if the King would allow it but I will ask, we would have to give him a good enough reason without revealing anything."