Nighttime Confessions 2nd Thoughtsbycageytee©
In order to follow this story you should read "Nighttime Confessions" by capecodmercury, who is one of my favorite authors and to whom I owe thanks for the challenge to write a conclusion to one of his stories.
Nightime Confessions – Sober Second Thought
I have cheated on my husband and I don't know what I'm going to do.
Bullshit! That's a cop out and I know it!
A sleepless night does not always totally cloud the mind.
I may not know all that I had to do at that moment but I sure as hell know what was NOT going to do.
I have screwed up! Big time!
I have been listening to advice on lifestyles from 7 people, 4 of whom are already divorced (Almost 60%. That's higher than the national average, I'm sure.) and a fifth whose behavior as a womanizer is all too obvious and who freely admits his marriage is "rocky" at best.
One of them, the one I allowed myself to be seduced by, is a self-admitted hypocrite. He "loves" his wife but sees nothing wrong with fucking his friends once a year, all the time admitting he didn't know what he would do if she did the same to him. The other married one has made a cuckold of her husband and has continued doing so year after year as these conferences were held but she says "she loves him"!
Their "rules" are as much to protect themselves and continue to provide the opportunity to cheat on their spouses as they are to do anything else.
What does it mean to "love" your spouse?
If you had asked me yesterday, I would have rambled on about comfort and intimacy and how it was more important than sexual excitement and reaching orgasm. I would have claimed that sex and love are separate things and that you could have one without the other and vice versa.
Today I know that at least a part of loving someone is feeling the pain you may be causing them and putting your heart and soul into protecting them from all the hurt you can. If Don feels even half the pain I'm feeling over my own horrible lack of reasonable judgment, I may never recover from the shame. Today I've come to realize that love is a combination of a great many things that includes trust.
Something I have broken badly!
Next morning, at breakfast, I did my best to act casually. Judy, Rachael and Wayne joined me at my table but before we could discuss anything Frank Morello joined us as he had a couple of times through that week. Shortly after that, Phil, Sam and Dee Dee arrived. After we exchanged "good mornings" there seemed little to say and we seemed to fall into an uncomfortable silence broken only briefly when Art joined us.
Later that morning, at the first conference session, Frank Morello asked me if someone had "died in our group" as we had been the "life of the party gang" up until then. I answered that we were just getting weary and perhaps more than a little homesick but I began to be a little fearful that the behavior of the rest of them over my refusal to become any further involved, was causing them to attract attention to themselves.
Just then I didn't want to talk with any of them about last night's events and during the conference sessions through that day and I found, ironically, that I was using Frank to avoid them whenever they were near. It began to be a rising concern that they were becoming rather noticeable in their repeated ad hoc conferences and whisperings. It looked like they were about to betray themselves . . . and me, hopefully not before I had a chance to confess on my own and rely on my husband's love for me to save the marriage I have put in danger over my dalliance with Phil.
The conference would end tomorrow afternoon and the final dinner and dance would be tonight
While we were between the last session of the day and dinner, Judy and Rachael came to my room. They asked if I was O.K. and, on hearing that I wasn't and that I had no intentions of rejoining Phil for sex, they appeared alarmed. I told them I would do the best I could to protect their secret but that I regarded my own behavior as shameful. In order to calm their obvious panic, I promised to join them for dinner.
When we all met that evening, it was clear there was tension. Phil and Rachael were the most concerned, as they were still apparently "happily" married. Although Sam's marriage was rocky, and probably would not survive, he was concerned about providing any more ammo to the proceedings when it came to a divorce hearing. The rest of them were, I think, only worried about continuing their fun time at future meetings.
The fact that someone, who had told them she would not join their group, and knew their secret, had upset the apple cart. Over the course of the evening each member of that group joined me to "talk", again making themselves somewhat visible to the rest of the conference.
I did my best to let them know that I really had no idea how to deal with what I had done, that I knew no one was to blame but me and finally that, although I had no idea how, I would deal with Don when I got home. I would do the best I could to protect their secret.
Irony of ironies, after a while, that evening, I found myself using Frank Morello even more to avoid them. I had asked him to dance saying I wanted at least one with my boss before going home and he asked me a couple of times. Fortunately, it was rather obvious to most conference attendees that he had hooked up with a woman from one of the northern districts and he didn't pursue me at all.
Meanwhile, the seven of them were darting back and forth talking excitedly and gesticulating as if they were trying to attract the attention of everyone in the room. The situation was deteriorating into some sort of teeny bopper "she said. . . he said" silliness and their "rules" were being broken all over the place.
It got so bad that, claiming I was tired, I left the dance about 10:15 and went to my room.
On the spur of the moment I called Don and immediately realized how much more calm and settled I felt just talking to him and in spite of my severely agitated conscience, I was delighted when he said how much he missed me, that he was glad I was having fun and how happy he was that I called. We talked for an hour, something like I had done back in my teens and when we finally called it a night, I knew I had made the best decision in not rejoining the group. I still, however, had to deal with the fact that I had cheated on Don.
It seems obvious that, as I felt some bond with the group, I would keep their secret. It would be logical, to some, for me to put it all behind me and not say anything to anyone, BUT when Don cheated on me, perhaps twice that I know of, it was the breach of trust and the fact that he didn't take responsibility for what he had done and apologize, that bothered me most. That is, once I was assured he had not connected emotionally with someone else, I expected him to come clean and apologize and tell me what he would do to preserve and strengthen our marriage.
Surely, I can expect no less of myself!
When I did confess to Don, would I be putting other people's lives in jeopardy? Especially Phil and Rachel who may be hypocrites but who are protecting their respective spouses lives too.
Friday, as the conference drew to a close, things were even worse. Again, each member of the group approached me asking for my assurance that I would not "spill the beans". It seemed to me that they had drawn far more attention to themselves over me than they had in all the years they had been keeping their secret.
By this time I was anxious just to get it over with and was barely paying attention at the last session when committee appointments were being finalized. It took me a moment to realize that my appointment to the Competition Committee had been announced. Phil had been so sure I would join their group, he had nominated me and given that there were too few volunteers to cover everything, no one else was named and the job was now mine.
I decided to deal with that later.
On the way home Frank mentioned how little he had seen of me and I reminded him I had hooked up with some old friends. He said he had noticed the group wasn't as "up and at em" the last couple of days. I turned to respond to him but he seemed deep in thought and I decided it was best to drop it and I paid no more attention to him.
Don and the kids were at the airport to meet me and the excitement of seeing them and their obvious joy to see me gave me a momentary relief from my task of conscience.
We grabbed a late snack at the take out on the way home and as we sat around the kitchen that night listening to the kids excitedly relate their week at school and with Dad as "chief cook and bottle washer", I began to once again feel fear creeping into my chest.
How could I have been so stupid as to risk losing this. Two wonderful kids and a husband whom, I have just discovered from the kids, is even more wonderful than I realized.
I didn't want the evening to end, first because it was as wonderful as it was, and second, because it brought me closer to the task of telling Don what I had done and the even harder task of convincing him it was a stupid mistake, one I'll never make again and that I love him more than he could ever know.
All good things come to an end and, finally, our impromptu family gathering did too as both kids had tournaments the next day. Sarah had a preparatory competition to get ready for the up coming district meet and Brad's soccer team was playing in an invitational tournament about a one hour drive away. Don, of course, was driving him there and, as a bonus, would be able to drop in and see his parents who lived nearby.
My anxieties increased as we headed to our bedroom, me knowing I was about to shatter his world, but when I got there I managed to convince myself that we both were entitled to one more night of intimacy before all hell broke loose.
Don showered first while I unpacked and as soon as he finished, I took my turn. I had laid out a nice negligee that I was sure he would like. There were so many signals from him through the evening that I knew he was feeling amorous and heaven knows, I needed to be close to him at least once more.
When I came out of the shower wearing just a towel, I was trying to dry my hair. I sat on the edge of the bed while I did it and felt Don gently take the towel from my hands and kneeling behind me with his hands on my shoulders, he began to gently kiss my neck. I remember realizing I needed this so much. Over the next several minutes, he gently stroked my arms as his kisses trailed up and down my neck. As it was, it was thrilling, first and foremost because it was the man I love so much, but second . . . it . . .it just was!!!!!!
Whether it was relief from having decided to put off telling him of my foolishness, I don't know. I do know that there was a sort of jolt of excitement that flowed through me several times as he continued his ministrations. After quite some time he laid me gently on the bed and released the other towel freeing my breasts and exposing my pussy which seemed to be ignoring all my anxieties and getting moist on its own.
Don then began to lick my nipples which hardened noticeably and that too gave me a tingle of excitement between my legs. After the longest time licking and sucking at each nipple, Don began to trail his tongue down my stomach almost, but not quite, to my pussy. I found my excitement level was building to the point where I was trying to raise my hips to get his tongue to where I wanted it. . . on my clit, but Don obviously had other ideas.
Then there were warning alarms going off in my head. This is NOT Don's style and, although it wasn't necessarily Phil's either, this WAS different for Don and I, and the coincidence of me returning from my slip into infidelity, to a husband with a whole new approach, began to frighten me. This was balanced by my joy just to have him close and also by the fact that even my conscience was being seduced. I felt myself becoming more and more turned on.
Don finally moved down and got between my legs which I spread excitedly and, although he didn't latch on to my pussy or my clit, he did continue dragging his tongue all around the area teasing me into a level of excitement that I cannot remember having with Don for quite some time. I'm sure my excitement at that moment would have been close to unbearable had it not been for my conscience which intruded into the passion now and then. As Don continued, the intrusions by my conscience became shorter and shorter and fewer and fewer until, when Don poked his tongue deep into me, although I had not yet reached orgasm, I had passed the point of no return.
This has not happened to me too many times but I love it when it does. It's the point at which I can completely relax my body and focus totally on the on-coming orgasm. It has always been a very pleasant experience for me but I was unprepared for the force of the orgasm that followed.
Pleasure in the extreme flooded through my body and I cried out, sincerely, my love for Don.
He crawled up beside me and took me in his arms and, as the pleasure gradually ebbed, I made the decision to move heaven and earth to please this man beyond his widest dreams, at least for this perhaps one last time. Hopefully, if he could find it in his heart to forgive me, for the rest of our lives.
It seemed that Don had other ideas.
As we began once more to kiss, me tasting myself on his mouth, Don took each of my wrists in his hands and stretched my arms out above my head effectively pinning me to the bed. I didn't really struggle but I tried enough to know for sure that I was pinned and was unable to extricate myself unless Don let me. As I told you, Don is wiry and exceptionally strong. I was effectively helpless. Don began to kiss me passionately, much more so than I can ever remember him doing before, his tongue forcing its way into my mouth.
In spite of the fact that I had only just experienced one of the more forceful orgasms I can ever remember having, I began to get excited all over again. Don pushed his now erect cock into my wetness and holding me, almost as if against my will, he began to rapidly stroke in and out of me.
As before, alarms were going off in my head. This cannot be a coincidence. I have been unfaithful to this man whom I adore and he has changed his behavior as soon as I return.
What is going on?
There was no opportunity to speculate any further. Don was ramming in and out of me like a piston, not violently by any means, but forcefully and I lost my concentration on trying to figure out what was going on with my husband. I was finding the fact that I was pinned, highly erotic. In a brief moment of sanity I found myself denying I could cum again so soon. That just wasn't what Don and I did, but, as soon as I denied it to myself, I realized I was wrong. That was exactly what was happening and I had no control over it, nor did I want to have, and for the first time in my life with Don, I came again in a matter of minutes.
Again, as I came down from that incredible high, I realized Don had not yet cum and was still holding a steady stroke.
"I love you Don!" I groaned.
He pushed up and seemed to look down to where our bodies were connected, then his eyes swept gradually up my body pausing briefly to look at (admire?) my heaving tits, then he looked into my eyes and I watched him, as he too passed the point of no return.
His look was nothing short of ecstasy and knowing I had shared that with him just then, made me happier than I had been since before I went to that hospitality room a few nights before.
Don kissed me gently as he shifted his weight to lie beside me on our bed.
"I love you Meg. I've missed you and I'm glad you're home."
Once again, alarms coursed through my body.
Where was all this coming from?
Did he somehow know?
Don seemed not to notice any change in my demeanor. He pulled the now discarded towels from the bedding, pulled the blankets up over us, turned out the light and crawled in beside me, taking me into his arms in the process.
It felt wonderful and regardless of my guilty conscience, two relatively sleepless nights preceding, the exhaustion of an incredible night of lovemaking and the comfort of being held by the man I loved, let me fall into a relatively peaceful sleep.
Mmmmmm. That feels good! Ooooh do that again!
As I gradually woke from that peaceful sleep, I began to realize that Don had moved down the bed and was now licking the backs of my legs from behind my knees up to my ass cheeks.
It was becoming increasingly hard to lie still. With my renewed excitement, I began to squirm on the bed and as I did, Don lay across my legs and spread my cheeks with his hands, brushing his tongue lightly over my rosebud.
That, combined with his earlier activities as I was waking, had turned me on again.
As I continued to moan, he spread my legs and began to lick up and down the inside of my thighs, not quite able to get to my pussy. After a while, when he gave me the opportunity, I pushed back and came up partially on to my knees. Now his talented tongue could reach my pussy and he began to eat me from behind. When I realized that I had not cleaned up after we had made love earlier in the night, it seemed somehow . . .naughty and exciting, maybe even a little bit slutty, and I found once again I was more sexually excited than perhaps ever before with Don. As my excitement became obvious, so too did Don's, and soon he was on his knees pushing into me from behind and sort of resting his chest on my lower back. He was mauling both my tits with his now free hands and that too contributed to my excitement.
Having cum earlier in the evening he lasted quite some time and as he lasted, I reached yet a third orgasm that night and I'm sure for the second time that night it triggered Don's release.
Again my mind was a whirl of contradictions but, standing out most, was the joy of having him close, of feeling that intimacy which as I told you before was the best of my relationship with Don, but now there was more to it and my conscience pushed me to ask why.
I didn't ask for long though as, secure once more in his arms, I fell fast asleep.
I woke to the smell of coffee and went downstairs to see the kids wolfing down breakfast and my loving husband, who deserved much better than what I had done to him, handing me a cup of coffee.
The plans for the day were reviewed. Don was driving Brad to his soccer tourney and later in the morning I would take Sarah to the gym. As it was just a tune up meet, it was agreed that I would stay to watch Sarah, who was competing early in the meet, then leave her to support her teammates while I returned home. I would pick her up about 10:0PM to be confirmed by cell phone.
Sarah has improved so rapidly that I was amazed at her first two vaults. It frightened me initially to see what she had done but it soon became apparent she was more than ready. By mid afternoon she had her first gold and three more bronze medals to add to her collection and as far as her individual performances were concerned, she was done. I left her to support her teammates as agreed and returned home.
I was more than a little surprised to see Don's car in the drive and was concerned that perhaps Brad had been injured. I rushed into the house and obviously caught Don unaware as he was startled, then he looked somewhat guilty . . . no, not guilty, more like embarrassed.
In fact, I'm sure he was blushing.
"Hi!" he said, rather lamely.
"Hi yourself." I replied, "What's going on?"
There it was again. He blushed! He definitely blushed!
"In the excitement of having you home last night, I neglected to mention that I arranged for Mom and Dad to stay with Brad so I could be home to be with you." He blushed again.