All Comments on 'Nordic Adventure'

by fd0356

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  • 13 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
yes ... but

It might well have been an exciting adventure for you. and well-executed it was too,

BUT.. why is it here?

You mentioned ( five times) the word "husband". He did not interact at all with the tale. I hate to say it, but "affectionate Dog" or "female partner" could have been just as easily inserted into those five places and the story would have been the same, but in another category.

To make it in LW, there has to be some 'conflict', for this type, the husband must play a part, either confession-wise ( and he loves it, or not) or discovery-wise ( and generally does not like it) or be really kinky and the tour guide calls on you (both) for more non-threatening episodes.

But for this particular tale, you've done your dash.

And then after this tale you went on the pregnancy cruise. DNA will out. so there might yet be a follow-on tale from this cruise travel agent.

In closing, thank you for not belabouring the point that you're a travel agent, Product Placing Cruise Line Names, and Hotel Names, though mentioning any Cruise Line might be a little risky, legal-wise.

All in all, both tales today rate as Good, and thanks for the read.

Cheers,

Kilroy

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Typical slut wife story.

Nothing else to say.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
just plain garbage

garbage in garbage out.. you call this a story.

LickideesplitLickideesplitover 10 years ago
Ditto Anon 'Kilroy'

Thanks for stating my favorite quibble re: LW stories. Hubby gets mentioned or does not get mentioned and the impact of the well-written (but hot vanilla) tale does NOT change one whit! It is Erotic Coupling (with an unrealistic cock ... they tend to get smaller as the society's need to cover up -to protect from the cold- gets greater!). Glad Sweetie enjoyed it! Sorry it has interfered with her enjoyment of coupling with her Hubby! If THAT aspect were to have been developed MORE, it coulda developed into LW!

"Hubby-Honey, ever since I got Royally Reamed in Iceland, I just find you too small and too boring. Get a Big Boner implant and a Speedo - plus some tummy liposuction - and we'll try it again!".

No thanks necessary for the start of your Ch2!

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Same poorly written junk as the other story you posted

In the end, knowing so little about her and her husband, who cared what happens?

rocketeer50rocketeer50over 10 years ago
OK. Needs more detail

I like the cheating wife/no revenge genre. Let me give you what I hope you will take as constructive criticism. She's too quick to give it up. There should have been more interactions with the guide before she lets him get his fingers in her in the water. When she gets him up to her room, there isn't enough descriptive detail of him-- what he looks like, what his equipment looks like, whether he's hairy or has sparse hair. All you did was describe the length of his dick without much more. You have no indication of what he used for lube on her virgin ass. Then you have him going directly from ass to mouth, on a woman who hasn't done any prep following a big dinner and who is an anal virgin. That's unrealistic and frankly rather disgusting.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
childish

predictable and DULLLL

ILienBagbyILienBagbyover 10 years ago
Obviously,

this wonderful story should have been posted in "Humor and Satire." Hilarious... I think.

Pulsifer42Pulsifer42over 10 years ago
Always to be on the wanted list

And she thinks she got away with something and will never be caught. Ha, Ha, Ha.

The concept sucks.

m48gunnerm48gunnerover 10 years ago
Not a ounce

Not an ounce of regret for cheating...in fact by her admission she thinks of her adventure while making love to her husband......what a wonderful way to treat her husband.

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
Did not like it!

The story wasn't really a story but a recounting of events. No evaluation of self or anything. Nothing learned. Apparently nothing desired. No emotions at all. What was the purpose of the story.

I would appear that you are not a bad writer, but a story without a goal or message even to one's self is not much of a story. My guess is that you could be an excellent story teller when you decide to become one.

I do hope that you will continue and develop.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
well at least you never said you loved your husband.

Why are you married, so you can give him a S.T.D.?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Too funny for words

She walked back into the house, her husband took one look at her and knew immediately she had cheated. He moved out and filed for divorce. You really think men are clueless don't you?

Anonymous
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