All Comments on 'Not According to Plan'

WOW!

WOW!!!

I felt that this story was a little rushed. I think that such important news as. "you have a sister and she's living with you" wouldn't have been done on the phone and I got the feeling a lot of the scenes were rushed thru.

That said it was a fantastic plot and got me hard. 5 stars and added to my favourites.

Please continue this story!

Enjoyed the quirkiness of the relationships

this should have been spread out over months not days. the whole story as written should be two or preferably three times longer. as said earlier the news they were brother and sister should not have been told over the phone. think about doing a rewrite adding more background and making the part where they are living together longer before the sex and the mom should have flown back to tell them in person. as is it was ok but will never be great because you rushed to much and crammed to much into one small story slow down from now on and do it properly please.

Would like more from this author.

Suggestion of a discovering parentage buildup, read Montana Summer by D K Moon here on literotica.

16 Chapters of the most heartwrenching, erotic writing you will ever read.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=943702&page=submissions

I bet you can't believe how many experts there are on Lit. who are just primed to tell you what you really, really need to do in order to re-write a story. You're doing fine!

Really hot is the idea of the parents swapping partners and having babies.

It was only natural for Rose and Brad to become lovers and perhaps husband and wife.

I can only imagine when they have spent some time together and really get to know each other how deep their love will develop.

I hope that the author will continue this great storyline, with the two kids and parents becoming very close and eventually after a period of time, that Rose has Brad's children.

Thanks for the great read.

Wonderful storyline, good back story, very sexy characters. Liked the twist at the end. 5 stars for sure!

I agree with Arshan, I think it is good. I hope you do a second part soon.

Thanks for sharing!!

I hope theirs a second part

Good up to a point, BUT: the ending was somewhat confusing in that there was such a tangle of leads to follow. Plus, second-generation incest babies are bound to have some deformities - one generation is one thing but the level of inbreeding is bound to turn some nasty genes dominant. So, that's where this ceases to be believable - and for me that spoiled my enjoyment of it.

I liked the twist hoping to see a second chapter

Either I am having a serious case of dejavu or I read this exact same story before.

You may have read it before on another website under this same user name, minus the numbers. I post elsewhere, too. It was validated on two other sites about one week before it appeared here.

If, however, you found this story elsewhere under someone else's name, I would appreciate knowing, because it has been plagiarized.

"Not According to Plan" is MY original work.

That's was not expected. Damn good

That was an extremely unexpected twist. I LOVED IT! But anyway please please please please please post another chapter! :)

A second chapter is definitely needed.

A fascinating story and a pleasure to have it part of me.

awesome story...what happens next?

this really cries for a second chapter. you could have fnished it off with another page or two but since you didn't it will have to be another chapter, unless you are lazy like 99% of the writers here and just leave us hanging.

as ready to move on to new things. The content of some of my work wouldn't pass muster on this site, but I do write often. Hopefully, I can break out of my short writer's block and get my Christmas story done. I also have several other unfinished stories, and my "The Hunger" series.

You may think it's laziness, but in reality it's a combination of having a life away from the keyboard, a touch of ADD, and some women in my head who need stories written about them.

Sorry.

If I were to write a sequel, there would probably be a scene involving both generations. At least, I think that's what I'd do.

awesome story

You do a mean tale and the family relationship was mind blowing to say the least. It would be sweet to see another chapter in this but I feel that NOT writing it is the next chapter. You have done some masterful writing and it is time to dust off the keyboard again. It has been 6 months. :((

any of us saw that comming!.

thanks fot the read.

ED

It was good.. Good concept and epilogue - though .. I guessed this solution..

Even the unfortunate "bald" pussy, nor a small inclinations to the anus, does not hurt the its entirety..

Though the ending is waaaay to soap opera-like.

this is far from finished and needs atleast two or three more pages to finish it off properly.

Why not leave well enough alone and let the tension build between the two main characters?

Your last minute intrusions take way too much away from the story.

Why bother leading us to the culmination of the relationship you create only to take it away with a phone call or similar revelation???

The ending was almost required for this story to end up in this category. Many states in the U.S. allow first cousins to marry and even more don't consider it a crime for them to have 'sexual cohabitation'.

Hardly even taboo depending on where you are. The brother sister thing dragged the story firmly into I/T territory...

who would thought it could end like that. Loved it thank you

""

She pushed herself tighter against me. Between kisses, she said, "You didn't answer me about when can we do it again."

"It'll be a little while. I need to get some rest."

"Can I sleep with you tonight? If I wake up in the middle of the night, I'll see if I can get you hard again." She pulled away from me and stepped into the shower.

""

Where has she been all my life and how soon can I marry her?! Lol ;)

Ive read the story before, but it still winds my airplane rubberband tight, ready for flight! Write on!

I really like your writing style, and thoroughly enjoyed this story right up until that weird ending phone call. That’s when it went from a believable kinky story and totally jumped the shark. Come on! Why even go there with all the interchangeable parent nonsense when you’ve just written such a solid, believable story?

You could have made it so the parents accepted their relationship, but the parents all being siblings and the grandparents being twins is too far-fetched. It spoiled what was otherwise a good story.

I think the ending spoiled the first 2 pgs.

I love this story. Used to read it on Xhamster before they deleted all their stories. I think s/one using name "sahil1" had stolen this and posted it there. (I still have the bookmark.) Wonderful to find it again.

A well-written story.

First-generation incest has just a slightly higher than normal chance for birth defects, but three generations are much higher. While it makes for a quirky, jolting twist at the end, the sudden revelation at the end shatters the idea that Rose and Brad can consider living happily ever after and have a family together; it means they need to seriously consider adopting if they want kids. I know this is fantasy and made-up, but I'm just saying. Lucky that it magically works out how the author wants, but in real life that would be a lottery ticket with a high chance of defective children -- not a fun proposition.

Agreed that it would have been better for a slower burn, not having the two siblings fall into bed within a few days, but instead build up the tensions between the pair first, but the writing is good enough, that in my opinion, it survives that oversight.

Thanks for sharing. 5* Slainté

The first 2+ pages were great. Then it crashed and burned.

WOW! Didn't see that coming.

THE END WAS PURE SHIT

Beautiful story up to the end and then things got fucking weird

Did they have a score card for who is doing what to whom?

A car wreck would have been a better ending

What is sad is you can do better if you don't want one of the usual type endings

The mother father uncle aunty drama was so fucked up!! They could have stayed out of the story after they left.

The revelations came out of the blue at the end, but makes sense and makes it so that they can be *together* together without losing Barbara and Paul as parental type people. The build up happened quickly, but it was hot and made sense, and there's a lot of anecdotal research out there about genetically related people who were not raised together being intensely attracted to each other. in any case, great story. 5*