by MagicWand
good start to the story.gotta give a bit more of a build up.going straight in and fucking her,nice but needs a lot more back round
I liked the twist with Lila causing the incest, original in my opinion, keep up with more chapters.
that was great...seems like she remembered after all lol. great story; loved how it all worked out. wil there b more?
It would have been better if you would have had an editor to fix mistakes. Try getting one before you do chapter 2 and definitely do another chapter.
I like this twist!!! The girl friend getting the brother and sister together. And what a thrill it would be to have your girlfriend and your sister licking and sucking on you and then your sister fucking you!!!! Oh man. Take advantage of it and go for it all!! Keep writing !!!
I like stories about three-ways, even written a few myself, and this first effort shows some promise. But let me join the others in urging you to subject your stories to more editing before you turn them loose on the public.
I like stories about three-ways, even written a few myself, and this first effort shows some promise. But let me join the others in urging you to subject your stories to more editing before you turn them loose on the public.
Don't let some of the critics get you down. You have talent and only need to do some careful editing. Then you'll have them all so jealous, they'll be seeing stars. Keep at it and I'll look forward to reading more in the future. You might even continue with this story because it shows promise in being an excellent multi-part project.
Editing. OK, I'm sure you got the message. Now finish this thing before I have a fucking stroke! Have a nice day...
I was so engrossed in the story that I didn't even notice any mistakes. Please write a second chapter. That story was too short! Great job!
its realy good storie and i wat for more chpter from it
along with being very sexy and sensual.. you left the door open for a follow up. Please don't close the door, just continue. If I were you, after you finish your next story I would try to re-read it over at least 3 times, but on different days. That way you will probably pick out the small errors. Most of the mistakes were tiny and a fresh mind would catch them. Good luck.
You have a verry good start!! Now don't be a tease ! MOOOORE please!
between 1 and 100 i rate this 1,000,000 the best i have ever read! please write a chapter 2!!!!!!!!
I think it was too short and didn't have enough build up or communication between the sister and the brother. The build up wasn't long enough
I think Magic Wand would be a good name for what the big brother's got between his legs. It works real well up his girlfriend's cute little cunt and especially up his kid sister Diane's sweet little slit. It's great when a boy can blow his brotherly balls up his own sister's twat.
She. Knows. Everything.
And Remembers everything
Give your sister and girlfriend all the love and sex that they can take! You only live once, make the most of the time you have.
Find someone to proofread your story! There are several grammatical errors.
Just crazy enough circumstances for partying kids it could be true. If it is, there must be way more.
Are you a loser?? Who put all that bullshit in your head? Do you think you're going to catch something from incest. First of all incest is a bunch of scrap. Check the bible, there's enough of it in there. Secondly, sis had either done it before, or Lila is even better than you thought. Now you have two women that want fuck and make love to you and with you, and you're confused?? Move over, there a line of us out there, around your block waiting and wanting to take your place. Grow up.
AWESOME
Can’t wait for the next chapter.
Will baby sister make her brother a perfect roomie?
Good story...a bit short. If you want to convince readers of being a college student, then you may wish to proofread your article before committing it here. There are some glaring errors in spelling and grammar.