All Comments on 'Ogres and Ogresses Ch. 23'

awww im sad that zyra having such a hard time... I kinda like medean. i dont know why but i dont think he's like the other witches maybe he could be zyras ally. If she stops abusing him lol

MOAR!!!!!!

TL;DR

In order of occurrence:

self-referential list of things

self-defacing humor

opinion related to story

error spotted

reassurance/assuaging of potential fear(s)

long-winded somewhat-sympathetic Great Wall of Text

opinion unrelated to story

self-referential humor

If I were you -- which I'm rather glad I'm not, actually, as I'm horrible about deadlines. As in "I-won't-do-it-if-the-deadline-is-artificial" horrible. We'd never get to read this story if I were the one writing it.

But anyways. If I were you, I'd use a bit more prominent of a scene break, such as this:

--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--

--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--*--

I know it's long, but it's a heck of a lot more obvious than three simple dashes. (Though I'll also say it's pretty clear, and not at all...jarring? (I guess that works) when you do use scene breaks. It's obvious when you transition from one scene to another because you structure your sentences properly. I've read SOME authors who couldn't do that, (or who didn't have editors who could), and it does impact the quality. So, on your part, Crisis Averted Already.)

Also, I noticed an error (and I think I've noticed it before in other chapters, when similar stuff happened) in the spacing of one part:

"Not at all. I will see her for my lesson soon." Caligula and Medean walked off, and Etaceh and

Zyra were alone.

The line "Etaceh and Zyra were alone." should be one the same line.

I'm guessing that there was a paragraph or 'new line' break entered incorrectly there; maybe as a result of an accidental keypress, or because the view of the Document Editor* cut off that sentence when it was being used -- either by you, or by your editor (assuming you have one -- I can't remember if you mentioned that).

Eurgh. I structured that sentence horribly. I also can't think of how to do it better.

*(Dunno if you use Microsoft Word, OpenOffice, LibreOffice, or something I can't think of.)

w/e.

Regardless, if the only things you have to worry about (in the context of writing this story, that is), are things like line breaks and frequency of updates, remember these:

Unhappy readers are vocal, but if they've read all the chapters up to this point, they probably won't stop now. They'll help you fix a problem if they can, especially if it benefits them.

Your schooling takes precedence over us reading more story goodness. Please, PLEASE don't ever put us ahead of you finishing a project.

(Especially a physics one. Those things are a bitch to complete without the right data. And why everyone needs the 'core classes', and that includes PHYSICS, is beyond me. Math up to and including very basic calculus? Sure. It helps in everyday life. And being forced to use algebra will cement it into your brain. Physics though? When the hell am I going to need to find the angle of incidence a light beam is making as it transfers from one medium to another? Never? Didn't think so.)

lol.

My comment is so long it requires a scroll bar. (Even before that multi-line list at the top.)

And my ADHD displays itself prominently. *fist pump*

You have been missed, also how cruel of you 2 and a half chapters!!😩

I started reading this story this past weekend. I'm disappointed to have made it to the end and now I have to wait on postings. Oh, why couldn't I have discovered it after you'd finished?!?! Oh woe is me! (j/k). I like the world you've created and I'm looking forward to more installments.

I don't understand what the witches hope to gain by being cruel to Zyra. At least she has Scallen in her corner. I think that Medean could be a useful resource for her if she would stop being so suspicious of every male she meets.

I have put off reading this story for so long and I'm glad I did. It is wonderful, delightful, it is in short EVERYTHING!!!! I love it. And dare I say you?