by sketchead
I really love the story, well written and very sexy. Good technically (I didn't notice any spelling/grammar mistakes) which is always a pleasant find in amateur writing.
I think the only productive suggestion I have is to take your time to tell the story rather than rushing through it.
Hope you'll post more in the future! *****
Short and sweet! Wish I'd been a passenger on that bus. I imagine if I had been sitting close enough I might have caught the perfume of your juices...
What a naughty girl you are! You remind me of myself when I was your age.
I quite enjoyed your tale and the thought of it being true definately brought out the best in me;) Long drawn out stories are fine at times, but this length was just right and nicely structured as well. Perhaps as an idea for another adventure you could try getting yourself off while driving in traffic (although please be careful) you could drive alongside large trucks whilest enjoying yourself. The idea that they may look over and see could be quite titilating. By the way, please come to my neighborhood and ride the bus. Would like to hear your thoughts as well. dlewisrp at yahoo dot com. Good luck and keep up the excellent (and very hot)work.
Wow...not long..but long enough for me to get hard and make a mess on my tummy.
.just new here and luv reading.your story was a great read.to the point and sexy enough to turn on most.