All Comments on 'One For the Road Ch. 04'

i dont care if jimmy is "cured"

He is a waste of zygote.

I dont want to see him get better... I just want him to die

I'll wait for the last parto comment...But I vote 4* for now...

When the kids talk about their new dad...... Back to the bottle he goes......

stumble down the road to recovery.

Its a shame anonymous persons assume the arrogance to criticize if they haven't walked the walk.

Thank you for a fine story about real life,

SliperyRox

I'm guessing the wife is off with her lover enjoying herself?

Some people don't beleive in redemption...Don't beleive in lost people to find their track again...

I wish my dad had figured it out. Alcohol killed him and our family. My mom, too. Both died from alcohol poisoning. And 30 years later I am still pained, embarrassed, and depressed about it.

Am looking forward to the next installment. Thank you.

My mom came from an alcoholic home. Her father was an alcoholic. My dad was headed to being one when they were dating. She told him it's either me or the alcohol. Never saw alcohol in our home growing up. They were married for 19 years when he passed away. That fall after his death I left for college, I became an alcoholic. Had to drink to go to class. I was at a major university in the SEC and was told I could make the pros if I worked hard. Lost my football scholarship because of the drinking. I quit drinking and layed in bed for a week drying out with the shakes and chills. I am now 55 and have not taken a drink since I was 20. Only one way to stop and that's not to start. This is a great story about the downfall of becoming an alcoholic. I hope Jimmy gets turned around totally and gets his family back. Great story. Vanadorn, you say you are writing about something you know. Are you a friend of Bill W?

Best chapter so far. The hardest thing to do is put a new life together for yourself. I'm sure there's a speed bump coming up on his recovery road. Very few get through without one.

And to anon with the snarky comment about the wife with her lover? Obviously you aren't reading the same story as the rest of us. There are plenty of other stories on here to satisfy that particular desire. I suggest you go find one of them.

is worse than the smell of a septic tank, TK U MLJ LV NV

For example ,Revenge by Alex_Lover.

That's a way to incorporate the fantastic into a story. Not the best nor very good. But you don't have to stick to reality.

AMerryMan

Years ago I worked with an alcoholic. He had been married - really nice wife and a couple of nice kids. One day she told him he had to choose, the bottle or her and the kids. He bought a plane ticket for her and the kids and sent them back to her parents.

The guy was in a fog all the time. He wasn't aggressive or belligerent - just not all there – functional as long as you didn’t expect much. You couldn't leave anything with alcohol near him. He and another guy roomed together and his room mate used to complain that he couldn't even leave aftershave in the bathroom because his roomy would drink it.

I also had a first cousin who was an alcoholic. He was another one like our hero James who went from disaster to disaster. It was always someone else’s fault; someone who didn’t like him; a job that wasn’t right; someone being unfair. His mother was always around to make excuses for him and fix his latest mess. After she died, he just continued downhill until he eventually drowned in his own vomit, lying in a gutter on the side of a street.

I hope he stays sober. Not sure if that can save the marriage but the relationship with his sons can be salvaged.

Help his exwife and his children. No matter what victories he accomplishes, no matter if he stays in the wagon for the rest of his life, he is still a self centred asshole who refuses to support his exwife and kids. Yes I know they are separated but in truth, he hasn't been around for a very long time and he hasn't been a husband for even longer.

If she doesn't divorce him then kudos to her.

This is a good story really down to earth I give it a five very realistic this happens every day to someone Larry

. . . what happened, and now we await for "What it's like now". Well done and Thank You.

to write his opinion on his work. He'll tell us that he's a brilliant writer, but the readers don't get him. If we could learn to enjoy him half as much as he enjoys himself, we'd all have a favorite writer.

So Jimmy managed to get a job and a few bucks ahead. What does he do? He takes the money and gets a tuneup done on his POS muscle car while his wife and kids are about to be put on the street from foreclosure. I might have a little more respect if he gave the money to his wife and continued to ride his bicycle. As an added bonus he might even lose a bit of his beer gut.

Top notch writing. You have scary insight into Jimmy. Everything rings true. Well done

It is. But what's the point? This is supposedly a web site for the erotic. This is a difficult story to read. Not a single erotic thing in it and it's certainly not very entertaining. More like it's depressing.

No doubt about it, alcoholism is a very tough row to hoe. The sad part is how far down some must go before they ask for or get help. The devastation to their families is heartbreaking as is being shown herein. Lost one child to it, another on the way. Cheers!

drunk driver tale

1 star

This husband is really difficult to like, but it appears he is starting to dig out of the horrible hole he dug for himself. Will be a miracle if his wife doesn't marry somebody else which will be a tremendous temptation for him to jump off the wagon. At least he finally got to see his kids. Powerful writing. I don't understand the negative comments - who among us doesn't have flaws and fuck up? Alcoholism is a disease and is very difficult to overcome. This story minimized the hospital stay and physical recovery, but I have a friend who is a physician and has treated alcohol dependency and the physical treatment and recovery are very difficult and time consuming, let alone the mental cravings.

You are missing the point. we all have flaws

MY flaws do NOT mean that the mortgage goes unpaid and my kids and wife are about to be thrown out on the street

My flaws dont say to me yeah geta fancy powerful car because even though you are god damn fucking loser and drunk you DESERVE this car.

Even when Jimmy wasnt a drunk thee was nothing about him that was good or great.

He is NOT going to make it. It is Obvious. His rage is so intense that he loses sight in one eye .

Just allergies, sniff, really!

'nuff said.

And real.One of the things it points out is how people enable the alcoholic for far too long,the culture of guzzling six.packs as if it was normal,where getting drunk makes you a man or something.Some of it is love,a spouse or sibling or parents who can't admit the truth,people let Jimmy act like an ass for far too long,and it enables the alcoholic.If Jimmy was snorting coke his parents would have gone nuts on him years ago,but because it was booze,it was ok.

Interesting to see what happens.The store manager appears to me to be a vulture,if myra feels like she has to sleep with him because he helped,that is not a friend,it is a vulture.If he sleeps with her he is a dick,myra is vulnerable..

I like the priest,he reminds of what the church is supposed to be and often isn't,helping the least among us,the lost,rather than wasting so much time yelling about who people sleep with or what they use to prevent pregnancy.

Right through the story I've felt that this guy had a really twisted sense of entitlement as well as a drinking problem. he still doesn't get it, that while his young children may still love him, (they aren't old enough to know better) he has totally burned his bridges as far as his wife is concerned. Let's face it, to him being Catholic is strictly an excuse to keep her with him. He still hasn't progressed to the stage of being able to accept that he has totally destroyed any feeling his wife had for him. A well written story, maybe even a bit over the top, but a story I've seen repeatedly as an ex cop, which makes it difficult to read. They talk about the cost of the damage caused by tobacco. It doesn't even come close to that caused by alcohol.

You have to be an alcoholic, a close relative of one and most likely a drug & alchohol counselor, to have penned this tale. You say you write what you know, well sir you know the disease of alcholism from the inside.

The ending made me cry, literally, out loud, it was so powerful and the buildup so crafty. Nice job.

I love endings that are happily ever after, hope that is where this is going, although for most drunks setbacks are reality.

Thanks to everyone for their comments and feedback; I'm touched by the support and stories. I am on Chapter 5 right now, about 1/3rd done and trucking along.

I hope to post Thursday or Friday, meaning we should be live Saturday or Sunday.

Thanks again, really.

-V

In the end, Jack Lemon's character goes through the AA process successfully, paralleling your story, sort of. The wife was also an alcoholic who didn't make it, falling hopelessly into the gutter. No parallel there. But I do think there will be no reconciliation, a reality that proves Jimmy has made it and can stand on his own.

I celebrate 20 years as a "quitter" this year and the Jack Daniels folks still miss what I used to consume of their old #07. An alcohol related "incident" in Izmir Turkey while on active duty in the Navy made me realize that there were too many things to lose. Luckily I didn't hurt the Air Farce so-called security guys too bad when they tried to stop me from getting back to the liberty boat and then the safety of my Navy destroyer at anchor. I had many ups & downs while attempting to function as a working alcoholic and being in the Navy made in easier in some ways and much more difficult in others. Vanadorn as an author has many of the trials and tribulations well covered, I had a few of them and in various creative ways survived them. I've been retired for 11 years after completing 22 years and reading some of the great stories like this are interesting reminders.

How can jimmy be home by mid march of she still has a restraining order against him this character is a potentially dangerous drunk but her interfering friends are precluding any recovery of the family. You csnt repair relationships by handcuffing 1 of them by placing roadblocks in front of them. All her bills? Why file for legal separation and spend money you font have when they already are effectively separated. Myra and the kids safety and wellbring are of great importance but there is no effort on her part to sslvage jimmy if at all possible is there.

But I agree with the commentator who said he will probably fall of the wagon when either the divorce goes through or his ex-wife marries Mark. Extremely well done and this chapter held my attention from beginning to end since it is not about the fall but rather the struggle. Perhaps this man's alter-ego is Sisyphus.

Not the story, it's well written and compelling. But I think you'd be better off posing this in non erotic or novels and novellas. Because here, in the cesspool that is loving wives, you have commenters who look at a story of an abusive, deadbeat drunk whose wife waits months before finally filling for divorce so she can move on with their lives and not end up out on the street or with the children taken into CPS custody, and they /still/ can't help but bitch and moan about wanting to blame her. This community harbors and fosters a bunch of lonely, bitter misogynists, and anyone not wiring to cater to them is better off elsewhere.

Sorry. Haven't finished the story. But my head exploded during the reading so I had to pause and make mention of the fact that you actually made my head explode.

And it was this statement:

"We're Irish, not Italian. We do guilt, not grudges, ok?"

Yeah....do you actually know any Irish history? I think they are still fighting about that frigging cattle raid by Cú Chulainn

Do you only know one fucking word?

misogynists, misogynists, misogynists.

Fucking parrot. This is a great story by a great writer. 5*

Why don't you go back and suck on Laurel's ass some more you fuckwad.

Piss-off fag.

Retard

Okay, this is good to stick with- I feel better about how the story is going, and the inner dialogue is as usual very well handled. I do worry about the guys health- when he's upset it sounds like he'll have a stroke or heart attack! Don't think he's a candidate for to over 80 club, but maybe he'll get a few decades. Hopefully quality ones. I like the dad a lot- a classic taciturn guy, just like mine.

He has not sent a dime to his wife and kids, she needs a better life. Hope both find happiness. Well soon see how you wrap up another great writing job.

Why shouldn't she be moving on? Please, all you people talking about her and her lover: name me one (1) thing that states that once she filed the separation, she shouldn't be hunting and hunting HARD for a replacement for the POS which she married?

Because he's their father? Two six packs and 5 minutes in the back of his Charger can make him a father. He's for the most part been a sperm donor.

Because they are married? Well, she already stated she's legally separated and emotionally crippled by all the crap he's put her though. If JPB's heroes are allowed to nail their secretary morally when they serve separation/divorce papers, why shouldn't she be free to chase Mark or whomever the fuck else she wants?

I stated in chapter one and I reiterate here, while we get to peek behind the curtain at this guy's personal turmoil and can sympathize, that does NOT, repeat NOT exonerate him for the huge damage he's done to his family and if she flat out cheated on him (which she is NOT doing) I'd perfectly understand.

Really don't like this character though he is turning it around. The turn seemed a bit quick.

From FD45:

And it was this statement:

"We're Irish, not Italian. We do guilt, not grudges, ok?"

Yeah....do you actually know any Irish history? I think they are still fighting about that frigging cattle raid by Cú Chulainn

Yeah, I know some real grudge holding Irish people (some in my long extended family!)

Neighbor I had once uttered this line to me when another neighbor was getting on everyone's nerves for some local problem that occurred like 10 years earlier. He was Irish, the complaining decade long neighbor was Italian. The statement struck me as funny and stuck with me all these years.

Best chapter yet, with some light at the end of the tunnel. It has been very hard getting myself to read this. Strange, because I really like you as a writer. My guess is that I have not liked the character, nor the dialogue for that matter. Add to that the lack of hope. However, I'm pretty sure your intention was not to paint him as a sympathetic character. That means you have done an exceptional job of characterizing him as abhorrent. I know how the wife feels. She is justified in moving on. While her reasons for pursuing Mark are pathetic, it conveys her desperation. Desperation brought about by a pathetic husband. I hope I am cheering for this guy in the end.

Am I a cunt, or a fag? Do you know what those words mean? Because they aren't the same.

Love how being called out on your misogyny makes you anon trolls completely incapable of even basic logic.

You are both a cunt a fag and more.

How does Laurels shit taste?

Misogyny, you certainly are a stupid one word fuck.

Frontline shit for brains.

Biggest turd, biggest troll.

You should be banned

Van, you remind me a bit of Slirpuff in the way you write flawed, average, believable, "everyman" characters. They aren't always likeable, but they're always interesting.

Don't let the guys like FLC or that other guy tell you how you should write. FLC uses the terms "misogyny" and "misogynist" so much that it's comical, and if it isn't 100% realistic and doesn't fit into his narrow world view, that other dude throws a fit.

FLC's definition of a misogynist is any man who doesn't go along with everything Wifey says or does. If Hubby says "No" to becoming a willing cuckold instead of giving Wifey what she wants, here comes FLC to call the writer a "misogynist". LOL

Keep on truckin' man. Write what you want. Make no apologies!

5 Solid Stars for each chapter so far.

has negative connotations and loss of ones chips. TK U MLJ LV NV

Did you actually read my comment IronDragon? The author isn't the target of it, I think he has far too much talent fir this category. It's the assholes who jump into the comments to criticize any author who writes about women as anything but evil and deserving scorn.

We agree on this story, too bad you're too much of a reactionary twit to see anything other than one word and assume it's an attack on an author. Vanadorn shows inserting to bea talented and very compelling author, and this is a wonderful story just as his first one was. You and the others who bully anyone who doesn't confirm to your worldview in this section though are asshole.

See, I didn't even point out your rampant misogyny.

@frontlinecaster

You know, you were actually making me think up until that last line. Then you had to go and blow it by showing your true colors. All it proved is that you know absolutely nothing about me. I have never been a misogynist, but you're too much of a moron to see that.

If it wasn't for authors like Vanadorn, LW would be nothing but a cuck wasteland. So, instead of a breath of fresh air to offset the wimp tales, you'd rather have good authors post in other categories. Basically, you want LW to be nothing but a cuck wasteland.

Honestly, I already expected that from you. No surprises there.

At this point I'd rather see Loving Wives gone entirely to take away the soap boxes form bitter, lonely asshole anons. If that means that stories like this would get moved to somewhere better that's great, and the actual erotic stories that belong here would end up moving to a more friendly category. Loving Wives serves no purpose at all at this point.

And you may not consider yourself a misogynist, but in my experience anyone who gets that offended and defensive at any mention of gender politics has some issues with women. Granted, you're not as bad as the idiots down there who don't know the difference between implying I'm a woman as though that would be an insult or calling me gay as an insult when I'm bi. But I call them how I see them.

And this is where you went off the deep end, flc.

Make a point...and shut up unless you have to clarify a point or add to the response for nuance.

You come off as very censorious. 'Porn' is a broader term than just three seconds of squirting and wet tissues. Some of these gentlemen have their own concept of emotionally satisfying stories: the good guy who was dealt a lot of pain, gets his day in the sun by either inflicting it back on his attackers or watches as it happens to them.

Schadenfreude. Now, this is not your kink. It IS the kink of a sizable minority here...just like this category also services the happy cuckold slurping out cream pies, the giddy couple swapping partners, and the tragic dramas of ohio and Rhenquist which deal with the emotional fall out.

You need to follow two simple rules:

1) Lighten up Francis.

2) Read the stories you WANT to read and stop complaining about what other people like. If Irondragon wants or needs to write or read torture porn against them bitches, don't read Irondragon or the stuff he reads.

It makes life so much more pleasant.

Here's the thing, I don't care what a bitter, angry guy like IronDragon reads. I was here commenting on this story, how I liked it and I didn't think it deserved flak from the BTB crowd because it presents a woman moving on with her life and getting out of a bad situation. But guys like him can't handle anyone saying anything that might mean that a woman isn't evil or that all men in failed marriages are blameless and good, so he started out insulting me. He didn't even bother to read my comment, just saw the word 'misogynist' in relation to some anon trolls below me and decided to call me out personally. Oh, then he e-mailed me hoping I get cheated on.

So tell me, which of us needs to learn to just leave others alone in these threads?

Sorry for the delay but I never finished by Thursday and I don't write on the weekends. I am 2/3rd finished with last chapter and am hoping to post tonight - which would make it go live Wed.

Thanks for the patience! :)

-V

Ok - submitted the final chapter. 18k words. I sat on it an extra day just to make sure I was satisfied with it. I am, and I hope everyone else will be too.

Thanks again for your patience and look for it either Wed (most likely no) or Thurs (most likely yes).

Thanks and regards

-V

Just endless prattle about nothing. Well deserved 1* !

Can't let that clown's comment be the first one anyone sees, even if it was made 9 years ago.

Though he/she will never read this, to the anony who said, "One of the most boring drivel"... your poor grammar tells it all. You lack the capacity to understand just how good this story really is.