One Night in New York

Every time Callie left the dance floor, I kept one eye on her, only to make sure she wasn't accosted by some drunk asshole as she rested. At one point not soon after we arrived, her and Tony were talking while Joe and I sandwiched Amanda. I rotated the three of us so I could see them over Amanda and Joe's shoulders. They were talking into each other's ears, alternating as they spoke. I think Tony was apologizing, because they talked for a while. Before Tony rejoined us on the dance floor, they hugged. That was a good sign. Soon after, Callie came back up to me and pulled me close. She looked much more relaxed and confident, so I assumed her and Tony had a good talk, although I had no idea how with all the noise in the hall.

I will admit, it was nice to feel her body pressed close to mine, her arms encircled around me. My hands stayed at her waist, my fingers rubbing along the rough material of her jeans as we ground against each other. Of course, I had noticed that Callie was an attractive girl before, but I had never really thought of her in a sexual way at all before. Maybe it was the conversation from the car running through the head, but all I could think about was what it would be like to do this with her in private, feeling her naked skin against mine, to kiss her lips...

Abruptly, I tripped over my own feet, nearly falling on top of her. She grinned up at me as she put her hands on my chest and propped me back up. I shook the dirty thoughts I was having out of my mind. If she had ever wanted me in that way, it would have happened a long time ago.

Eventually, Joe, Amanda, and Tony all left our little circle, either to get a drink or to go to the bathroom or just to sit down. I was getting kind of tired, having been dancing almost non-stop since we had arrived, but every time I made a move to leave the dance floor, Callie pouted at me and pulled me back into her. The first time, she pulled my head to hers and shouted into my ear: "I don't want to dance by myself! Too many creepers here!" I looked around. There were a lot of sketchy looking guys around us, the ultra-muscled, supergelled dudes who paced the room like sharks searching for a meal. "Keep me safe!" she demanded, and I acquiesced. Somebody had to look out for her.

Finally, I could tell she was starting to fatigue as well. I tapped her shoulder and made a gesture with my thumb, pointing towards the back of the hall. She nodded, but as we started to push our way through the throng of people, the DJ switched songs, putting on some sensual half time tune. She squeezed my shoulder, putting up a finger as if to say "one more song!" Inwardly, I sighed, but it stopped in my throat as our hips made contact.

Somehow, I was able to move more easily to the slower song; I was more comfortable with the slightly relaxed tempo. I pulled her tighter to me, feeling her small breasts pushing into my chest. She put her chin on my shoulder, and I rested my cheek against her hair. I breathed in, smelling her shampoo mixed with her sweat. It was by turns both natural and scented, and at that moment, all I wanted to do was run my fingers through her hair. She turned around, pressing her back into me, lifting a hand up and grabbing onto the back of my neck. There wasn't a point from our upper bodies to our thighs that we weren't touching. She moved sensually against me, and all I could do was follow along.

She turned back around as the song was coming to an end, keeping her arm around my neck. My hands again drifted to the small of her back, my fingertips lightly rubbing against the very top of the curves of her ass. She leaned back and looked into my eyes.

At that moment, I felt something pass between us. It was something different, different from anything I had felt in the eleven years we had known each other. All I could feel was her breath and the pulse of my heartbeat, the blood rushing through my body to where my fingertips made contact with her skin. I wondered if she felt it, too.

Then she pulled me into her and kissed me.

Time stopped. I was paralyzed. I was so astonished I couldn't do anything; I made no move to pull away from her, nor did I make any move to kiss her back. It only lasted for a few seconds, but it could have been hours before I felt her start to pull away. She rubbed the back of my neck before dropping her hand down. Of course, at that moment, the song ended, and she turned and walked off the dance floor.

I was still so surprised I remained frozen in place until someone jostled into me from behind. Turning, I saw some big guy glaring at me. I didn't even react, I just started moving and tried to spot my friends.

When I found them, I could tell they had seen everything. They weren't talking, and they were just staring in my direction. Callie was nowhere to be found. Joe pointed at me, and the look on his face said "What the hell was that?" I shrugged my shoulders, shook my head, and kept walking past them towards the bathroom. I needed to get away from the pounding music and splash some cold water on my face.

***

By two, all of us were finally spent. Well, they were, in any case. I spent most of the time after Callie had kissed me sitting against the wall, avoiding her and questions from the others.

What just happened? Why had she kissed me? What did it mean? More importantly, I wanted to know what that electric feeling between the two of us right before she kissed me was all about.

We were all too tired to carry on any kind of conversation as we stumbled out of the club and back towards the subway station. At least that was what I told myself. I wasn't quite sure how to address the huge metaphorical elephant in front of us, and I could tell nobody else could, either.

Our route out of the city was a mirror-image to the one we had taken in. Nothing of note happened from Grand Central to getting to Joe's car. We pulled away from the parking lot in the same seats as we were in when we had arrived. I stared out the window as we got on the highway, the lights of the buildings around us blurring as we passed by. All of the questions I had asked myself in the club were still swirling around in my head.

I glanced back into the car. Amanda and Tony were silently holding hands on the armrest in between them. Joe was passed out against the passenger side window, and Callie seemed to have fallen asleep with her head against the seat back. I looked over again at Joe and decided that was probably the best idea, even though I didn't think I would be able to sleep. Callie's was still pressed against me, and it did nothing but add to my distress. I sighed, shifting slightly to rest my head against the window. I felt Callie push back subtly at me, her shoulder leaning into me. Even though her head was still against the seat, it felt like she was resting on me, as if I was holding her up.

Lightly at first, almost so lightly I couldn't tell if I was imagining it, I felt Callie's fingers brush against mine. Once, twice, three times, they flicked against my hand, until I could tell she was deliberately trying to make contact with me. Her index finger lingered on mine, making a hooking motion. Her other fingers followed. Without even thinking, my fingers curled back, squeezing gently. She wiggled her body against mine as I squeezed. We drifted off like that, with our fingers locked together, until we arrived back at Joe's house.

***

I woke up around ten the next day, and the first coherent feeling I had was of loss. I felt inexplicably sad. Then I remembered what happened last night. The drive down to New York. The squabble between Callie and Tony. The club. Callie's lips on mine and our fingers laced together on the car ride back home. It was all I could think about as I went through my morning routine. As I ate my cereal, I saw her face. When I brushed my teeth, I felt her hand in mine. I stood in the shower, and I smelt her hair. By the time I finished, I had realized what was bugging me; why I felt so gloomy.

Whatever romantic feelings I might have had for Callie had been suppressed almost as soon as puberty hit. The tendency to be attracted to one another was very strong, just because of the closeness we shared from growing up together. It would have been easy enough to succumb to that temptation and get involved with her. But somewhere deep down, I knew that it would have been impossible to sustain a relationship for the rest of our lives, and living without her altogether would have been too sad for me to even think about. So of course, as soon as we got to Joe's last night, I went straight to my car and left, without even the most perfunctory goodbye.

But last night's kiss awakened in me feelings I thought I had locked away a long time ago. It took me most of the morning and early afternoon to finally admit it to myself: I loved her. It was a despondent kind of love, though, because I knew nothing could ever come of it. Even if we could stay together the rest of our lives, the obstacles in front of us were too great. We went to schools a thousand miles away from each other, and after college was too far away to even think about planning. These feelings and thoughts had been inside me for a long time. Her kiss only opened the door to the room I had been hiding them in.

Even though I had sorted out my feelings, I still felt awful. I couldn't think of any way to get rid of my mood other than to talk to her, so I threw on a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt and left the house, walking around the corner to hers. I let myself in through the gate along the sidewalk, and walked to her back door, where I usually went in. On the steps to the breezeway, though, I faltered. My hand grasped the door handle, but I couldn't bring myself to open the door.

Why are you so scared? I asked myself. She's your best friend. You can say anything to her.

Even break her heart? another voice in my head responded. Of course, I had no reason to believe that what I planned on telling her would break her heart, but the voice spoke before I realized it.

I took a deep breath, let it out, and opened the door. Walked up to the door leading to the kitchen. In the two steps it took for me to cross the breezeway, the volume of my heart pounding in my chest amplified until it was the only thing I heard. I knocked on her door in time to the thudding of my pulse and waited. I heard footsteps in the hall, and I exhaled, not realizing I had been holding my breath until that moment.

She came to open the door. Even though I tried to restrain myself, I couldn't help but let my eyes run down her body before looking back up at her. She must've spent most of her day the same way I had. She was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and her dirty blonde hair was tossed messily on top of her head, almost as an afterthought. I still thought she looked gorgeous.

"Oh...hi," she said unenthusiastically. "I didn't know you were coming over."

"I was just walking by...I wanted to stop in and say hi to your mom while I'm home." Wow. That was lame. Good thing I didn't do improv.

"She's out right now. She went to visit my aunt in Providence, or something, I think." We both stood in the doorway awkwardly for a moment, waiting to see who was going to make the next move. "Well, you can come in if you want." That was a first. She had never had to invite me into her house before. She moved out of the way, and I walked past her into the kitchen. We both leaned against the counter, not quite looking at each other.

"You know when she'll be back?" I asked, trying to keep up pretenses.

"No, but I don't think it'll be until late tonight." She sighed. "I wish you had called to let me know you were coming over. I would've cleaned up a little bit or something."

"Come on, Callie, when have I ever called you before stopping by?" There was an almost unbearable amount of tension between us, yet I couldn't think of anything to say to break it. For all the thoughts that had been running through my head all day, my mind was suddenly blank.

"Look, you came by to talk about last night, right?" she asked. Finally, it was out in the open. "You probably want to know why I kissed you and..."

"Well, yeah. It took me by surprise," I said, finally looking her in the eyes. She had a soft, sad look on her face, but for the life of me, I couldn't read what she was thinking.

"Really? You never thought about what it would be like to kiss me before?" Her voice had taken on a sarcastic, mocking edge. She knew I couldn't answer yes to that.

"Of course I have," I responded lamely. "But I always thought it...you...me...would be impossible. I mean, why now? Why last night?"

"Well, why shouldn't it be possible?" she exploded. "You're my best friend! You're the only guy I've ever allowed to get close, like, ever! You think that I've gone my entire life without being the least bit attracted to you?" I didn't respond; I had no words to counter hers. She sat down on the couch and put her head in her hands, pulled her hair back. "I don't know. The conversation with Tony in the car just really fired me up. I started to think that even if we couldn't be together, I could still want you right now."

It took a few seconds before what she was insinuating dawned on me. "You're talking about sex?" I asked, suddenly much more nervous than I had been before I had knocked on her door. Eyes downcast, she nodded.

"You know, you can be such a fucking idiot sometimes! Why do you think I never got serious with any guys in high school? Do you think it's normal for me to stay up until two in the morning talking to a boy almost every night - after seeing him at school all day? And now it's too late. I can see it in your face...you're disgusted with me. You didn't...you didn't even say goodbye last night." Her eyes were watering up. Stunned, I sat down next to her on the couch. How could I have missed all those signs? I was an absolute moron. Now, instead of thinking about how fragile and unlikely high school romances were, I could only think of how badly I had blown it. We could have had years to be together, even before we left town. But thanks to my shortsightedness and apparent stupidity, I had thrown that chance away forever.

"Callie..." I started. "I'm not disgusted with you at all. I just...I had no idea you felt this way. I'm..."

She was sniffling now. "If you had known, would you have done anything about it?"

"You mean last night or four years ago?"

She didn't respond, and I didn't answer. Instead, I leaned towards her and put my arms around her shoulders. She leaned her head into my chest. I could feel tears intermittently falling through my shirt. She circled her arms around me, clinging to me like a child. We sat that way for a while, me rubbing my hands across her shoulder as she slowly gained her composure.

Eventually, when her breathing had become more even, she pulled her head away and looked up at me. I didn't even realize I had been inhaling the scent of her skin until I pulled my nose from her hair.

"Were you trying to get me to sleep with you last night?" I asked.

"Well...not necessarily," she answered warily. "I was just...well, like I said, that conversation totally fired me up. In more ways than one."

Again, it took me a little while before I realized what she was implying. "Oh..." I paused. "So...are you still...umm...'fired up?'"

"You jerk!" she laughed against her will, pushing away from me. Laughing too, I grabbed her wrists and pulled her back to me. Her face was inches from mine. We stopped giggling as we both noticed the position we were in. "I was just...I don't know. Ready," she whispered, looking back down. "Like, really ready. I've been ready to end my streak with you since we were sixteen."

I let go of her wrists and brought my hands to her face. Held both her cheeks. Lifted her face to mine.

Then I kissed her.

It took her by surprise; her eyes widened before they closed and she sank into me. Our bodies melted together, and I started to fall back on the couch, pulling her lips with me. I felt her start to pull away, and my eyes opened. Standing up, she took my hand and helped me up from my reclined position on the couch.

"What?" I asked as she tugged me further into the house.

"My room," she answered, looking back at me with the most seductive bedroom eyes I'd ever seen. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right."

***

Callie's room was small; just big enough for a twin bed, a desk, and a dresser. The shades were drawn, and the room was dark. It was clean, save for the large pile of clothes on the bed.

"Laundry," she said as she moved it off the bed. "Like I said, I would have cleaned up if I had known you were coming over. Don't worry, it's clean," she quickly added.

After she moved the laundry to the floor, she turned to face me. We stood there for a moment, not sure who was going to make the first move. This time, I took the initiative, reaching out and pulling her in for another kiss. Our lips met, tenderly at first. I felt her mouth part and her tongue snaked out, flicking at my lips. I opened mine as well, and the instant our tongues touched, something inside me broke loose. My hands started roaming down her body, pulling up her shirt until I felt the smooth skin of her lower back. My hands continued their journey downward until they were cupping her ample bottom. She moaned into my mouth and started pulling my sweatshirt over my head. We broke off the kiss and she took a step back from me, my sweatshirt pulled half up over my body.

"You first," she said softly, pointing at my clothes. I quickly pulled my sweatshirt and my t-shirt over my head, baring my chest. She ran her hands along my torso, exploring my body from my shoulders to the top of my jeans. A tremor passed through me at the feather-light touch of her hands. She went for my belt, and had my pants undone in short order. I kicked off my shoes and helped her pull my pants down off of my legs. Stepping out of them, clad only in my boxers, I could feel my penis hanging heavily against my leg. I wasn't hard, but I was well on my way, and I looked down to see a noticeable bulge straining to break through.

"Now you," I said, my hands returning to the hem of her shirt, lifting it up. The silken skin of her stomach came into view, rising up and down from the deep breaths she took. She put her hands up, and I pulled the shirt over her head. Her generous breasts caught in the t-shirt momentarily, then fell back down, swinging invitingly. As she pulled the shirt off the rest of the way, my hands unconsciously reached out to cup them. I could feel her press her chest into my touch as I rubbed her nipples, a small sigh escaping from her lips.

I knelt down in front of her and started to undo the knot in the string holding her sweatpants up. I inched them down her legs, her pink and yellow panties coming into view, covering her mound. With her pants around her knees and her legs trapped together, I kissed the center of the triangle of fabric that disappeared between her thighs. For the first time in my life, the powerful, sweet scent of a woman's arousal drifted into my nostrils. It was sensual, divine. Heaven. As she stepped out of her pants, I kissed my way a little lower. I could feel her panties dampening near her slit.

"That's enough," she growled, grasping me under my armpits and pulling me back to a standing position. We kissed again, attacking each other with our mouths as we shuffled towards the bed. Her knees knocked against the mattress, and she fell back, releasing me from her arms and breaking the kiss. She giggled as she bounced back against the bed, her jiggling breasts drawing my gaze. I shamelessly ogled her, and she giggled again. "Come here," she said, flinging her panties to the side. I obligingly crawled in between her parted legs as she scooted her behind up towards the headboard. She reached into my underwear and pulled my cock out, stroking it, teasing it to hardness. I sat up on my knees and pulled my boxers off. "Like you said, if we're going to do it, we should do it right," I said as I lowered myself back between her thighs. She grabbed me by the back of the neck, pulling herself up while simultaneously pulling me down to her, kissing me until we fell back against the mattress. Involuntarily, I bucked my hips, and all of a sudden, the head of my cock was against the warm wetness of her pussy. Her eyes shot wide open and she gasped into my mouth between parted lips.