All Comments on 'Onus 02'

You were right, this is a dark one. Hope he gets someone to love him.

I love your imagination and writing. It's true that your stories can be scary to read, but that's because you make me love your characters.

The overall living conditions for Shiloh were an improvement under 'Mr. Ordinary' than they were at Rudy's stables. A reader had to be dense not to understand that Shiloh was to be prepared to be a sex slave. He did gain a temporary kinder person in 'Mr. shush-shush honey/Mr. wet wipes'. Your dystopian world continues with another sale of Shiloh to the 'man with half a face' who lives in the massive house with two large spires. The enema, piercings, & anal sub-human slave sex actions were not unexpected. Your action paragraphs were not graphic or prolonged. I thought you were lighter in tone with this chapter then in the overall story of "The Bottom Tier". Kip had caring friends/lovers by his chapter two It's difficult for a reader to decide which is the darker story at this point. And is it even important to know now? How many chapters will Onus be developed? Chapter three is a giant unknown. I look forward to discovering the answers. Good luck with your new internship! Strongly believe it needs to be your priority.

It was dark, but so well written that it was still a great read. Thanks for taking the time to share your gift with us.

I personally like dark stories. I didn't read the other comments so I don't know the complaints. Sometimes being drug through the ringer makes the ending more sweeter. I've enjoyed several of your stories, keep up the good work.

Its funny that I enjoyed "bottom tier" ....but is having a hard time with this one... Sighs...

I read Onus 01 and 02 together and what grips me is although its a fantasy/sci-fi base...how realistically you've potrayed the entire situation.

I don;t have much words to say except your writing and the creativity you have is exceptional. Keep doing what you do best!

Good luck! Can;t wait for the next chapter :)

I can't do justice to your ability. Thank you for generously sharing your gift with us.

Very weak--a real disappointment to me.

I probably wouldn't have started this if I had realized it wasn't finished yet. I don't mind dark, but I like to know there's a happy ending to get to. (Please, let there be a happy ending.) I like to be dragged through the wringer, as DelaneyMeg commented; as long as I end up in a good place, it's cathartic. In this case, I'm waiting in the dark area and that's a little hard, but that doesn't make it not worthwhile.

Oh my gosh. I'm crying. But only because this is so vivdly and beautifully dark that it makes sob. I love your work Cruel. I love the darkness of it. Just saying what goes on in my head is wayyyyy darker than any of your stories.

please finish this

As always, I enjoy your talent and plot line very much. I can hardly wait for part three. I hope it's coming soon!

I simply can't wait any longer.... Just fucking finish the story....I been waiting for more than 3 months now!

God. I've read through all your stories in the last two days and it's incredible what they do to me. You meet my taste so perfectly, it's almost creepy.

Thank you for those wonderful stories. I'm very much looking forward to the rest of this one and a lot more =)

(I'm too lazy to sign on)

Your story's not bad at all. I like the concepts but I find myself more interested in learning more about the Onus and their daily lives rather than what's going on with Shiloh. I think your story would have done better as a sci-fi/fantasy with erotic elements rather than an erotica with sci-fi/fantasy elements.

It's a good story so far. Terribly sad, and not really the kind of thing I expect on Literotica, but most of your writing isn't and I've been reading a lot of it anyway. Your worlds and ideas are fascinating, and your writing is very good.