Operation Weekend Spoiler

One of the agents took pity and offered to give them a ride to the airport. He said Walters' name was on the no fly list and he would need at least a day for TSA to straighten that out. An hour before the plane took off he was finally allowed to board. Eva ignored him for the entire trip.

Walters tried to buy a drink with his last twenty however United is cashless and his credit cards were plastic garbage.

* * * * *

Like the previous month I picked her up at O'Hare Field. Our reunion was an unemotional as though I were a cab driver.

Eva always took great pride in her appearance. Today she looked like hell. She was still wearing the knee length red dress—one of my favorites—she had on when she left only now it was all rumpled. She had lost her black nylons; her hair was a mess and she had no makeup on. In short, she looked like a refugee. I guess three days sleeping on chairs multiplied by four days in the same outfit without a shower will do that to a person.

I kept trying to engage her in conversation, any conversation. All she would say was "I don't want to talk. This was the weekend from hell."

I hope she didn't see me grinning.

Just before we got home Eva's cell phone rang.

"Don't answer that. We need to talk"

"I have to. It's work."

"No, not until you talk with me first."

She didn't answer. Seconds later the phone chirped to say she had received a text message.

"Ignore that." I ordered.

She read it anyway. A gasp escaped her lips.

I grabbed the phone. "So let's see what made my loving wife gasp."

I read the message out loud. "All in caps, gee this must be important. ANSWER THE PHONE!!! HOUSE BURNED DOWN!!! POLICE THINK I DID IT!!! GET OVER HERE NOW!!!

"Huh. Now the phone call I received on my way to the airport from a Tribune reporter makes sense. He said my wife was having an affair with the leader of an arson for profit ring. Said they would torch houses going into foreclosure for the insurance money and you went to New Orleans with your lover to provide an alibi. He also said he had pictures of you fucking him when you went away on business last month. He sent them over to prove he had them. I haven't had the stomach to look at them.

I looked at Eva. Her face was white as a sheet. Her bottom lip was quivering but she didn't make a sound.

"I cussed the reporter out and said our lawyer would sue the paper for liable if they printed one word. I guess I owe him an apology. I tried to control my rage as I spoke.

Eva's phone rang again. I looked at the caller ID and barked, "Don't call this number again or else." There was no response.

"I guess your lover didn't want to talk to me."

By now tears were streaming down her cheeks. "How could this be happening?"

"Excuse me, could you please repeat that. I couldn't hear you." I shouted.

She took a deep breath then repeated, "How could this be happening?"

"That's funny because I've been asking myself that same question ever since I hung up on that reporter." I was stupid enough to think we had a happy marriage. I was stupid enough to trust you. I was stupid enough to think we would have children and grow old together."

I looked at my wife. She couldn't look at me. "Why?" I demanded.

I was shaking so bad I pulled the car off the Kennedy Expressway and found a spot to park. My phone rang again. It was another reporter.

Eva was sobbing as I began to speak, "A statement...you want me to make a statement. Here's my statement. How would you like to find out your wife of fifteen years is fucking an arsonist. Print that!" I hung up.

Eva was sobbing so hard she was having trouble catching her breath.

I wasn't going to answer the next call until I saw it was the Park Ridge Police Department. They wanted to speak with Walters' alibi. "Officer," I said, "my wife wants to swear out a complaint against Walters for blackmailing her to have sex. Yes, we can produce full documentation of this charge. I can also prove he blackmailed at least three other women who worked for him. Fine, we'll be there in about an hour."

Eva's eyes grew large. I could barely understand her when she asked, "How did you know that?"

I held my finger in front of my mouth and said, "Shhhh, don't talk." I had been dreaming of humiliating Eva and now that it was happening I began to lose my resolve. From somewhere deep in the recesses of my heart a tiny ember still glowed that said I must protect my wife.

I turned both phones off and we sat there until we were cried out. Eva broke the silence, "You must hate me."

"If you had asked me one hour ago I would have said I hated you worse than I have ever hated anyone. Now I'm just numb...like my soul's been torn out of my chest."

Eva was breathing like an asthmatic needing their inhaler. I didn't sound much better.

"Why did you do it?"

"Honest to God I didn't know anything about arson."

"I know you don't."

"Oh. You mean the affair"

"Yes," I screamed, "The affair. The one where the woman who pledged eternal fidelity to me before all of our friends and family betrayed me by fucking a piece of human shit. That affair. Not the one you let yourself get blackmailed into, I'm talking about the one you went into as a voluntary participant. That affair! Well! Why did you do it?"

Eva buried her face in her hands.

"I'm sorry I yelled. Please answer the question. I have to know the reason."

"I've asked myself that a million times. He's an incredible salesman. I turned 35 and was starting to feel old. He somehow picked up on that and laid a line on bullshit on me. I didn't just jump in bed with him. He wore me down with tiny steps. He convinced me it would restore my self esteem...make me feel young and desirable again. I can't believe how stupid I was."

"I always tell you look beautiful."

"That's different. I could have black eye and you would find a way to compliment me about it."

"So destroying our marriage was my reward. This is fucking crazy. I should have been a son-of-a-bitch and treated you like Johnny treats your sister. Talk about black eyes, she's had to cover up her share of them. I'd hate to see what her face would look like if she cheated on him."

The car grew quiet.

"I always loved when you looked at me like no one else exists. I felt so special."

"But not special enough to remain faithful." I answered.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did. You hurt me. You destroyed me...you destroyed us."

Tears were rolling down her cheeks. I had only seen the look she had on her face once before, the day her father died in her arms.

"You seem surprised that there are consequences to your actions. So how did you think it would end?"

"When I was sitting on the airplane Friday morning I made up my mind I was going to kill myself by jumping of the hotel balcony. My period was late and, since I refused to have sex with you, I assumed it was that bastard's baby. That was more than I could endure. So I expected it to end with my broken body lying in a pool of blood on the sidewalk. I wrote you a note."

She handed me a folded up piece of paper.

Jim, There are no words that can express my deep sorrow for the pain I caused you. I am too embarrassed to face you and am taking the coward's way out. I am so sorry. Eva

"The only reason I didn't go through with it was I didn't have a balcony to use. Then, when I was sitting in the lobby at the FBI offices, a miracle happened. I got my period. I almost leapt for joy knowing I wasn't pregnant. When that bastard came out I told him if he even tried to talk to me I would claw his eyes out.

* * * * *

The detectives conferred with Eva and said I could sit in while they interviewed her provided I keep quiet. It seems a messenger delivered a manila envelope with copies of e-mails and pictures from Walters' computer.

I got to listen to the history of my wife's affair in great detail. Then they showed her pictures. She identified Walters' and admitted everything she did was consensual, then added, "Except the pictures. I didn't know anything about any pictures." The older detective handed me the photos to examine. I already knew each one by heart.

She looked at me and said, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry we have his computer and he's not getting it back."

"Okay, let's move along to after you broke off the affair. They handed her copies of the e-mails in which he threatened to distribute the pictures if she didn't resume the affair. What did you do when you got the last one?"

"I went into his office and told him I wasn't going to let him blackmail me."

"What did he do?"

"He got up and closed the door. Then he showed me his laptop. It was covered with pictures of me naked." He asked, "Should I press send?"

"I was devastated. The air got sucked out of my lungs and I had to sit down."

"What happened next?"

"Walters said I have two weeks to change my mind."

"I shrugged and said I guess I don't have a choice."

I moaned when I heard that.

"He smiled and said, "Atta girl. Now don't look so glum. We had a lot of fun together but we have to be careful around here...too many big ears. But I know a way we can stick a trip to the coast on the company". A couple days later he tells me his administrative assistant cover story. He said if took vacation days and stopped by a couple of customers he could write the whole weekend off on the company."

Eva spent the next half hour telling the detectives how he sexually abused her in San Francisco. They asked her a number of embarrassing questions. When she got to the part about me saying I was going to fly out on the red eye she managed a small smile and said, "Walters' flew into a rage when he thought Jim was coming."

She spent the next hour detailing her forced trip to Florida. Several times during the telling she paused and looked at me as if looking for some reaction. I tried to look stoic. "It was like the weekend was cursed. Someone definitely was watching over me." She gave me another small smile.

The older detective caught it. "Mr. Herron, when did you first learn of your wife's affair?"

I stuck with the story I had been rehearsing. "This afternoon on my way to the airport a reporter from the Tribune called to tell me my wife was having an affair with an arsonist. He also told me you received enough information from an anonymous source to take that sexual predator off the streets for a long time."

It was dark out when we finally left the station. The detectives said they had a meeting scheduled with the head of Human Relations to track down the other victims.

When we got to the car I held the door open out of force of habit. I started the car and threw it into gear.

Eva spoke, "I know I don't have the right to ask a favor but I would appreciate a ride to my mother's house."

I didn't answer but started to drive in that direction. After a couple of miles I pulled into the parking lot of an Italian restaurant.

"I don't understand."

"I can hear your stomach growing. When is the last time you ate?"

"Almost two days ago. Five bucks doesn't go too far on vending machine food."

I laughed for the first time in two months.

"I can't go in there. I look horrible."

"I'll bring it out. We can eat at home."

Eva's face lit up like life had returned to her body. "You said home!"

"Our home. So, what would you like to eat?"

It took her a minute to compose herself enough to answer.

* * * * *

An hour later we were finishing our meal when Eva knelt down in front of me.

"To my eternal shame I had no idea you would be my guardian angel, swooping down from heaven while swinging the fiery sword of justice. You saved my life."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"I honestly don't know. But I'm willing to try."

"Will you ever be able to trust me again?"

"It's not going to happen overnight but it can be earned."

"Will you ever tell me the whole story of what happened this weekend?'

"Maybe, when I trust you."

Eva giggled.

"Thank you for giving me a second chance. I promise I won't disappoint you again."

I cupped her face in my hands and stared in her eyes, "You better not. I have fifteen years invested in you."

* * * * *

Sending an envelope to the news desk of every Chicago TV station and newspaper was inspired. Each got a ream of damning evidence...copies of past due letters from the mortgage holder threatening foreclosure and letters threatening to repossess his cars and boat. The naked pictures were included just to be spiteful. Judging by the phone calls my timing had been perfect.

When the fire department extinguished the blaze they were able to establish the point of origin as the garage. The arson investigator soon found the remains of a number of gas cans as well as a slightly melted seven day timer which was used to trigger the conflagration. At the appointed time the circuit was completed and electricity surged from the timer through the wires and ignited a bucket full of gasoline. The resulting fireball engulfed the Corvette convertible before spreading through the house.

By the time the first truck arrived the cedar shake roof was ablaze.

Years ago I bought one of those devices that disguise your voice for a Halloween party. It worked perfect for the anonymous call to the police department the day after the fire. Instead of a 36 year old man they heard the high pitched voice of a young lady calling with a tip on a recent fire.

"I know who started the fire. He was bragging that you wouldn't catch him."

Another anonymous phone call told the police when the arsonist would be home from his trip. Two detectives were waiting for him when he arrived. The first thing they did was confiscate his lap top.

I also tracked down an old high school buddy, Joey P, a sleazy attorney who knew every gray area of the law. I told him my problem. He was thrilled to help.

"No problem, here's how I see it. Thanks to the e-mails and pictures we can show a pattern of sexual harassment and blackmail. So we throw all the shit we can against the wall and see what sticks. The asshole doesn't have shit for assets but his employer has vaults full of cash. Their motto is 'we're the family friendly alternative'. All I have to do is threaten to expose the culture of sexual predators and they'll do anything we want to keep this hush-hush.

"I mean his employer had to know something was up when a boss and his secretary take personal days off on the same weekend two months in a row. We'll depose the HR people and subpoena all sorts of personal records for the other women too. We'll have no problem proving this has happened before."

"I think they're gonna roll over like a puppy with an itch. Damn boy, this is going to be fun."

He personally served the papers on the president of Consumer Industries Monday morning at 9:01. The shit really hit the proverbial fan.

I would love to see the look on Walters' face when the attorney for Consumer Industries showed up at the police department lock up. I wonder if he smirked at the detectives, confident he would be released. Instead he was handed papers saying he had been terminated for sexual misconduct and was on his own.

I imagine his public defender wasn't too impressed when he found out his client's alibi was a married woman who was pressing charges against him for blackmailing her into having an affair.

"They're offering you a plea deal...six years in jail followed by four years of probation. I would advise you to take it."

Epilogue:

In the Cook County penal system six years really means six months. But that still gave Walters a lot of time to think. Eventually he pieced the puzzle together and figured out that it had to be me that set him up.

The first thing he did after getting out was to acquire a gun from a former cellmate. That night he went to visit our house. Or, should I say, our old house. We had taken the significant settlement we received and relocated to New Hampshire to start over. A Chicago Police Officer and his wife were the new owners. Officer O'Malley's dog alerted him to an intruder. He unholstered his service weapon and went downstairs to investigate. Walters got off the first shot, high and outside. O'Malley unloaded the clip into the invader. His aim was much better. Walters would never bother anyone again.

So what happened between me and Eva you ask. I told her we would not reconsummate our marriage until she had blood tests done to make sure she hadn't caught anything. Thankfully my wife and I were cleared to resume our sex life.

We have been going to a marriage counselor every week and are closer than ever and have reached the stage in our relationship where we are again trying to conceive a baby.

And yes, one night before a roaring fireplace, I did regale Eva with the story of Operation Weekend Spoiler. She was very impressed.