Orgasmic EcstasybyDiane Marie©
What is it about us that makes us this way, being lesbian. Not a good answer, I was this way before I admitted who I am. What we do share in common is what I call orgasmic ecstasy. What is that, nothing more then we have these very intense orgasms. Call them what you well, full body orgasms, mind blowing orgasms, all I know is that I just love having them. Why are our orgasms so intense? Because we all have multiple orgasms. I truly believe that to reach the point I call orgasmic ecstasy you have to have multiple orgasms.
Why am I writing this, because some, maybe lots, of you say you don’t have multiple orgasms, you can’t your to sensitive. I disagree, everything I read says any women can have multiple orgasms. While I was looking for that description of orgasms, I happened upon a page at a site that tried to teach women how to have multiple orgasms. Here is what the writer said about how she learned to have multiple orgasms. I quote from her article titled "Multiple Orgasms" by Betty Dodsom, Ph.D. By the way she teaches a course on masturbation, that might be a fun job. How would that work, a two hour class for the women, an hour break to practice, and then an hour course for men, not that men need it but it could be fun watching.
"My adult masturbation was quite modest in the beginning. It took about ten minutes for me to come and then I stopped. At first I did the classical hand job, using massage oil for a sensuous feeling and teasing my clitoris with one or two fingers. Then one night I watched myself masturbating with the magnifying side of a makeup mirror. It was a fabulous sight, like watching an erotic movie on a miniature screen. It added style to the way I handled myself, watching my vaginal lips turn a deeper red and my clitoris getting bigger. Doing an internal vaginal massage with three fingers increased lubrication and my sexual juices glistened in the bright light. I ended up moving my hand so rapidly it was a blur just before I came. This visual information was very new and exciting.
At first, I never had more than one orgasm when I masturbated. My clitoris was always too sensitive to touch immediately after I'd come, so that signaled the end of sex. Then one night after watching myself have an orgasm in the mirror again, I was still turned on, but too sensitive to continue. Suddenly I flashed on the idea of panting like they taught women in childbirth classes to help them cope with pain. I began doing the same breathing to cope with more pleasure and quickly discovered I could keep going with a lighter touch. Within seconds, my clitoral hypersensitivity disappeared and I was into another sexual buildup. Instead of holding my breath and pulling back after my first orgasm, I increased my breathing to match the strong sensation and moved through what I'd once labeled "pain" into a new experience with pleasure. Multiple orgasms! Basically it was as simple as learning to keep going and not to stop."
I decided to test this theory of hers, so the next time Sarah and I made love, I paid more attention to every thing going on. During oral sex I too felt that same feeling, one I no longer even think of as painfully sensitive, and admittedly there does come a point when I feel the need to stop but it is no longer that feeling, more so exhaustion. Even now I tend to at times push my lover away long before I really want to stop. A good lover should know the difference between those times and when one really needs to stop, communications is important but knowing our lover’s body as well as you know our own is more important. That is a circle in a way, you need to know your lovers body, to know it you need to communicate. I guess if your not a lesbian then that applies to your man knowing your body as well as his own, but shouldn’t you know the same about his?
I’m not sure about the panting like having a baby, never had the privilege, but I do at that point start panting. Later on after a couple more orgasms it’s constant, I just don’t stop panting. I really think that is the trick of getting past that point of being to sensitive, Sarah does the same. Maybe some other women have some another method, if so I say whatever works for you do it.
I also think the panting helps to quiet the need I feel to force an orgasm, something I find only keeps me from having one. Neither Sarah nor I were conscious of our panting prior to that night, I suppose we were lucky enough to just have it happen. No that is not true with me, a lover, I’ve told you about him, Shawn, forced it on me, he just wouldn’t stop. An amazing man, he had magic fingers, and he gave oral as good as any woman I’ve been with. Oh my god I just admitted a man can give oral as good as a woman, I’ll just add not many.
I don’t really know what magic Shawn possessed but I’d do just about anything he asked, maybe because he gave me so much more then I knew was possible. I’m sure part of it was something inside of me, I could let completely go with him. I always felt that was do to the already forbidden nature of our relationship. I guess you could say the good girl, although not real good, found the bad girl inside of her.
Getting off the subject again. I’ve often wondered what Casanova had that made him so desirable to us. Even by his own account he wasn’t a overly handsome man, average at best. I’m sure he had to be like Shawn, a marvelous lover, one who knew the importance of giving, considering his needs secondary to our own. There had to be more, something that would attract you to him, just as I, I’m sure many other women, was attracted to Shawn. Did we instinctively know that making love to him would be so amazing, maybe for some a once in a live time happening, or was it his confidence, his knowing where he could take us that made him so tempting.
I sit here thinking about Shawn, I see his face, I can feel his touch, I can almost smell him, but why was I so attracted to him. He surely had personality, but it was more then that, it was a knowing, I didn’t know good sex but somehow I knew that with Shawn, I would learn great sex. WHY?????
Oh my god, I lost track again. I did do some thinking about the panting, and I do remember panting around a few men’s penises when we were making love. There was no way I was going to suck anything at that point, I just had to pant. I’m not so sure they weren’t at some risk at those times, the last thing on my mind was what was in my mouth.
Betty later describes the use of a vibrator and how intense her orgasm were. I think if anything it was the vibrator that made me reach my full potential, but not alone by myself with a partner, I give up to soon. Contrary to what some say, that does not diminish your ability to have orgasms with a partner without the use of a vibrator. Sarah can and does, as other lovers have, give me all I need with her tongue. It’s just sometimes I love toys. Toys add a certain intensity level to the end of our love making. At times one or both of us want that something extra, and our love making can get very intense, sometimes more then our tongues and mouths can stand. Using the right toys, in a way that extends those orgasms is in my opinion extraordinary.
Here’s how I describe the scene of a woman’s first experience with multiple orgasms from a recent story. Of course her first experience was with another woman, so what if I write with a bit of a female prejudice. It doesn’t do those feelings and intensity justice. I did steal the idea of the one lover telling the other to pant from Betty, I felt that if only one woman read my story and tried, it would be worth every word.
"Half in a daze I looked up. Julie was standing naked next to the lounge. Smiling she took my hand in hers leading me into the pool, where we kissed and caressed for what seemed like hours but in reality was only minutes. Then leading me back to the lounge she proceeded to make love to me, slowly, tenderly, giving attention to all of my body. Making love like that was so unbelievable, nothing rushed, nothing left wanting. When her tongue finally reached my pussy I was ready to explode, when she gently sucked my clitoris into her mouth I did explode, in the most marvelous orgasm I’d ever had.
Her tongue continued to play masterfully upon my clitoris but the feeling was just to intense, my clitoris so sensitive it was painful. As I tried to push Julie away, she looked up at me and said "start panting just like your having a baby". I’d never had a baby but I had prepared myself, I knew how to breath. It sounded so stupid, but I did as she told me, within seconds I was past the point of painful over stimulation and on the verge of yet another orgasm. When the next orgasm hit it was must stronger, sending waves of pleasure through out my body. As it subsided I again got past my need to stop by panting, again with the same results, I was building to yet another orgasm. This time it seemed stronger, maybe not stronger but I could sense I was building to something different. When the next orgasm hit it was unbelievable. It seemed to start in my fingers and toes then rush inward to my pelvis from there my whole body shook with spasms, as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through my body. I suppose from then on I never stopped panting as one orgasm after another rushed over took me. I was in ecstasy, the only way to describe it is orgasmic ecstasy. I’d never been very vocal during sex, maybe a few unintelligible sounds, but I now was screaming. Of course mostly unintelligible sounds but I remember panting ‘oh god’ over and over and over again."
I do repeat "oh god, oh god", over and over again. I guess to thank her for making me in such a way that I can experience so much pleasure, so many orgasms, so close together.
The author I mentioned earlier, described multiple orgasms as serial, thinking this was a better term then multiple. I for one tend to agree, each orgasms is distinct from the last, each need it’s own build up. Although not completely, it isn’t like starting over again, it’s like your back on the edge of that plateau waiting to go over the edge. The time between seems to vary for no apparent reason, but it does. The intensity of each varies to, it isn’t really a progression from little to big, at least not most of the time, not for me, although Sarah’s tend to build that way. The way I wrote about the experience in my story would fit Sarah more then it does me.
A bonus for both Sarah and I is that at the end, the orgasms are all massive, without much time in-between. I think that would be true for anyone who can keep going working though the intensity of the experience. There does come a point you feel you just have to stop, exhaustion as much as sensitivity. But if you really want more, at times I do, and you have an understanding partner, it doesn’t take much time to recover and be back on the edge of that plateau again. Don’t just stop and rest or you well then need to start over, we do continue making love, maybe those are the most tender times for us, kissing, touching but most of all tender loving words. I don’t know about anyone else other then Sarah and I, I’ve never talked about it with anyone else.
One thing I disagree with Betty Dodsom, Ph.D. on is she seems to think four or five orgasms are typical, I have more then that, sometimes many more, so does Sarah, maybe we’re greedy. Betty claims the women who say they have more are counting contraction. I know the difference between a orgastic contraction and a whole orgasm, so she is wrong. Perhaps the difference is I have a partner, I rarely go beyond four or five when I masturbate, truth is one is usually all I want.
Now if I’m masturbating for a lover that is a different matter. I learned the joy of masturbating for a lover a long time ago. Another thing Shawn taught me. I learned the lust part of it, riding down Interstate 80, in the good old state of Iowa. The wickedly, stimulating, carnal lust of being watched by strangers, mainly truckers, they have the best view. So what if I’m a bit wicked, I just love it.
The downside of experiencing multiple orgasms is you aren’t really happy with a quickie. Once you’ve experienced it, you’ll want to experience it every time you make love. Not necessarily the complete deal every time, but more then one or two good orgasms. Especially if you start with the little ones like I do most of the time. That said we still have our version of the quickie, but that is more about love and bonding.
Another problem is that it takes a really loving and understanding partner, it isn’t easy, it can be work. In a way it is selfish also, as much as you want to pleasure your lover it does come to a point where you just can’t. If your with a man, I think it is harder for him, no way can he get this much pleasure, nor is he going to receive equal time, it does make it one sided. It is easier for me when I take the led, I know what she’s experiencing. I’m also going to feel the same or I just have. That is one of the reasons why I say use toys, it’s easier for the man. I also think once a man has used toys while he’s made love to you, he’ll love it, we all, women and men alike, tend to do a lot of what we love to do.
I think Sarah and I are more oral then most couples but that seems to be the case with most of our lesbian friends, although surprisingly not all. I know one lesbian who won’t go down on her partner. I still say my Sonic Care toothbrush is the best clit toy there is, although that auto shutoff always seems to shut off at the wrong time. We use that along with a normal vibrator, the damn thing even looks like a penis, but it’s blue. We do have others but that one is the best for penetration, not to big not to small. And yes we share, I know some of you seem to find that distasteful, something I just don’t understand. Yes men, I’m admitting that penetration helps, fingers work wonderfully to. I just came up with an interesting concept, a Sonic Care toothbrush and a penis, attach the penis to a man, one who has some staying power and away we go. Oh well, that isn’t going to happen for me, if one of you tries it, let me know how it turns out.
A trick I used when I was with a man, was to position him so I could give him a blow job while he was using toys on me. That helped, thus my earlier comment on panting around a penis. He was a wonderful man and lover. He never complained about me getting more then my fair share. OK I’m a slut, I did this with other men too, I’ve had more then my fair share of them.
Contrary to the impression some may have of me, I do like men, and I think most men want to be good lovers. I also think most men are willing to give more then they receive, at least that has been my experience. The thing about men is they have to be taught to make love to us. For us it’s less about being taught to make love to them, and more about getting over our hang ups, we seem to do just fine once that happens.
Love making is a give and take, it is surprising to me that so many women won’t give a man a real blow job, that means to climax. So you don’t like the taste, big deal, you get used to it. Think of it this way, his seed is not something nasty, how could anything that gives you the joy of a child be nasty. I don’t know a man who doesn’t think oral sex and allowing him to cum in your mouth isn’t the greatest experience he’ll ever have. Anal, I don’t like it but I have done it at least once with every man I was in a relationship after Shawn, note the word relationship, a one night stand isn’t. Funny thing is most of the men I’ve been with, found they really didn’t like anal that well, but being denied it by their other women made it an obsession. It can be painful for both, but it doesn’t have to be, lots of lubrication and having your partner go slow helps, you have to really relax. We all have our hang ups, I suppose I have that about anal, maybe that has a lot to do with me not enjoying it. I can not imagine having an orgasm from anal sex even if my clit is stimulated.
I’d better make my point. That being, you can have wonderful sex and still only have one or two orgasms spread out over time, but you are missing out if you don’t have multiple orgasms. I truly believe that to have the kind of sex that no matter how mad you are at your lover you’ll still want to have sex, you have to experience orgasmic ecstasy. The only way to get there is multiple orgasms.
I sure hope this helps some of you, I want you all to experience the same pleasures I do. By the way I kind of like Betty’s mirror idea. Maybe I can add a little style for my next trip down the interstate. Another good reason to have a man, men like that sort of thing, it does nothing for Sarah. Although she does allow me to indulge in my fetishes. I know she kind of got turned on tying me up a few weeks ago, my other big fetish. Here I was at her complete mercy and what does she do, takes me to that place called orgasmic ecstasy, she’d have done that anyway. Maybe for me that is what being tied up is all about, being completely under someone else control but someone I trust not to do something I’m not conformable with.
***** FOR YOU MEN. We have bodies make love to them, not just our breasts and vulva. I for one love to be kissed and kiss. I love my neck kissed, don’t forget the back of my neck and just behind my ears too. I love my chest just about my breasts tenderly caressed with my lovers finger tips, her lips at times. I adore having my back touched and kissed, kissing the small of my back drives me wild. Kissing and caressing the inside of my thighs is marvelous. Of course I want my breasts and nipples touched, caressed, nibbled and sucked. When I’m really turned on I love my nipples pulled and pulled hard. I love to be teased, my lover taking her/his time avoiding direct contact with my vulva until I’m about to beg.
My point is, I have a body make love to all of it. Don’t just dive right in and try to stimulate my vulva, I’m not ready and I’ll never have those really big orgasms if I’m not ready. In my case don’t suck my toes, I don’t like that but some women do. Each of us is different you need to learn your lovers body, make love to all of her.
If you can make love to me, as I described, an orgasm can happen almost the second you touch my clitoris with your tongue. When I’m made love to this way all those little things that stand in the way of an orgasm, stress, apprehension, work, life’s big and little problem have disappeared and I’m lost in the moment, I’m lost within myself and my lover.
Contrary to what some of you men seem to think, intercourse doesn’t do it for us, maybe some but I’ve never met her, and I’d tend to think that if she thinks that intercourse is the most wonderful part of sex, then she never really been with a person who knew how to make love. Most all of us need our orgasms before intercourse, my preference is oral, your lovers may be something else, if you give me enough of those, I may even have an orgasm or two during intercourse, if you don’t orgasms aren’t going to happen. Think of it this way intercourse is desert, we all love desert, but it’s not the main course.
Being that life is so contradictory, I intend to contradict myself by saying there are times we just want to fuck. Rip your pants off, then fuck the hell out of you, at times that may be suck the hell out of you before you get to take us. Not often mind you, not nearly as often as you’d like I’m sure, but those times still happen. They exist in all relationships, there are times I want Sarah to just fuck me, of course our version of fucking isn’t intercourse, it’s her face between my legs, her tongue on my clit and her fingers pumping hard in and out of my vagina, maybe even a finger of her other hand, oh never mind.
PS if you want to try a Sonic Care tooth brush, best clit toy I’ve found, you’ll need to cut off the splash guard. Please file the cut smooth with a nail file, doing so is very important, I didn’t the first time and cut myself. I find the bristles to be to way to harsh, I use the back of the brush. Try it both ways you may like the bristles. Yes I know some of you are laughing, but I’ve never been one to be afraid to experiment. Sarah, being not as adventuresome as I am, was some what apprehensive at first, she’s now very happy I didn’t really give her a choice to say no. I love my tooth brush, I’ll continue to use it until I find something that works better, I’ve tried, so far no luck. Hopefully if I ever find one it won’t have an automatic shut off.