All Comments on 'Outsiders Pt. 03'

This one was better than the 2nd chapter haan

i really liked it

That's a first! :D

Loved it, can't wait for chapter 4

This was a great series find! Added to my must read selection. Thanks for the series and I'm looking forward for more in the future. Thanks sycksycko!

The argument about keeping slaves is of course highly reminiscent of A-Cup Angst, but it still managed to feel fresh and natural anyway. In fact, it seems more... correct here than it ever did for Jamie.

I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how things progress for this group now.

I'm also curious to see how they cross paths again with the sorta-Simon. (I can only assume they'll see and recognize him from the news on that military base, and go from there....)

The story is going great, keep it up!

All that those stat bonuses on personality etc... are definitely affecting the girls. To know your unwittingly affecting the minds of those around you... Yea I would have trouble sleeping after that. Added on to that you hit the girls with the Florence Nightingale effect multiple times, in various ways, draw to power... yea they basically don't have a choice but to love him any more. That shit would make my conscience's conscience blow a head gasket, and kill poor Jiminy cricket in the process. Great story 5 stars

Great work. Glad that Krista finally got some real depth, she had seemed kind of 2D before, just kind of there as a motive for Ben's revenge. I laughed out loud at Lisa's honest response to the thing she'd least like to do, really a great moment.

I like it a lot.

I like long chapters.

I like the characters and the plot.

I just wish you cranked them out 1 per week.

Waiting is killing me.

Soooo perfect. Danm though, that was a seriously impressive concentration check he passed. ./bravo

You seem to have addressed much of my concern from last ch. and then some.

Your ill regard towards Christianity remains visible, but you've at least refrained from preaching.

Meanwhile every other aspect improved. One in depth character has expanded to three and growing.

The enemy got a significant power boost yet not untenably so. Moreover it had limitations, though with a suitable application of murder that might change quite quickly.

I'm guessing that Ben will suffer from the casting of wish, yet having that and timestop as weapons in his arsenal should tip most major confrontations in his favor.

I'm enjoying your character dev most of all, but the smut was also very well done.

Thanks for the story,

J

The story took a bit of a dive in this chapter (not enough for me to stop reading, but this was less enjoyable than the previous chapters) due to multiple reasons. Mainly, Ben's moral compass seems weirdly oriented, being willing to take over a random screaming girl from the streets (without even much regret about it later), but allowing Raven, a known associate of an enemy and one he knew to be keeping secrets from him, to remain free and given so many chances to escape (when he's sleeping, or by running away from Krista in the mall). And he seems rather immature too, in many ways. Honestly it's hard to believe he survived through all these years without magic mind-sensing powers, when he's so gullible and careless about known threats.

he cheated on Krista he is DEAD to me! monster!

kidding