All Comments on 'Party of Five Ch. 05'

I loved it and for all the haters who are saying where is the incest :P

Love the story, love the build-up, keep it cumming!

An excellent story so far. I'm glad you caught the small mistakes early and corrected them, though a few still crept by. Your attention to detail and plot flow are excellent, and while I like the slow build-up, it does seem to be taking a while to get to the real excitement your story promises. I hope you write as well at that point, and suspect you will. Keep up the good work.

Its such a refreshing change to see something slow and realistic, which makes the payoff so much sweeter.

PLEASE keep wrting, and doing it your way, at your speed. The little details bring out the passion so much better!

dude whoever hates this story is fucked! i hope thre are many more cahpters to come SOON. keep up the good work!

Another excellent chapter. Another 5 out of 5 from me. Keep up the good work!

Again, I see your POV (point of view) suddenly shifts to the sister when things starts to get a little hot. It?s not that noticeable in this chapter as you don?t keep us in her head for very long. Though it didn?t ?hurt? this chapter (because it was so brief maybe) in my opinion it?s a mistake to do that ? the whole rest of the narrative is in 3rd person josh?s POV.

I see you?ve already written 12 chapters so I won?t belabor the point again ? but I think that will hurt your following chapters.

Great story and oh so believable characters! Just keep going!

Hi

great story line you have a real talent i do enjoy the way the story is unfolding its alot better than one sueducing eachother and they get right to it this story line as lots of promise keep up the good work

ever thought about writing a book somthing to think about

look forward to the rest of the chapters

I always thought The Three Sisters was a tourist attraction(granite rocks) 150 Km west of Sydney. Now I know better. Take no notice at all of the people who want you to rush into the grunt & grind. Those poor inadequates don't realise that the brain and not the cock or cunt is the number one sex organ

i have always been a lurker in the internet...never bothering to leave a comment ..but your work deserves kudos and much more...i have stumbled across some fine erotic stories on the net but this one is by far the best...don't for a moment pay a heed to the morons who are complaining about the pace....an erotic story is meant to be sipped and savoured slowly and your story is like a fine dessert wine....your style of build-up is

superb and you will make a fine novelist...if there were a Nobel for internet literature you'd be a unanimous choice

This story is SOOO hot...and I'm not a pervy guy trolling the stories....

I'm a perfy GIRL trolling the stories. :D

I'm enjoying your story very much. Thank you.

Your detractors are jealous. Excellent build up.

nice ur chapters keep getting better in better keep up da nice work

i love how the buildup makes it a great story and not just a fuck-fest

Only to see that my comment from the previous chapter was right. Too much time establishing 'relationships' with his sisters, and not enough time establishing anything near a decent plot. This story is all style, and no substance. Anyone who says that you are a decent writer is not far off the mark, you are. The point is, that you need to learn how to script an erotic story. If this is an erotic story you were trying to write, then you've failed miserably. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, to indicate that any of his sisters are going to take his cherry anytime soon. Not one of them has made a move toward a level of intimacy beyond casual teasing (and not the erotic kind!), and not one of them has even hinted at having erotic feelings toward him. This story is going nowhere fast, and it doesn't look like picking up. It's a shame, because you have too much talent to waste it writing drivel like this.

If you want a jerk fest go read a one off. For those of us who look for stories to actually ENJOY and not just jerk off too, this is a good read. Stop knocking the writer for actually building a story...

Yea man, every chapter should just be summarized into wham bam thank you mam (sarcasm). I like slow buildup, and Lo_Pen this clearly isn't the right story for you.

Doesnt this fucker know what a box of Kleenex is? Not like the tard does his own laundry! Even a 13 year old wouldnt use something that mom would wind up washing! Lol.

Great episode, terrific series. Love the deliberate and slow pacing, the individual characterizations, and the way the siblings interact. Really well done!