All Comments on 'Party of Five Ch. 16'

The two romps were excellent - the inching of Alice to centre stage and development of her character promises well, but in this episode the highlight was the post Jackie celibate interlude of Dawn & Josh The frustration & anticipation was handled brilliantly. Just keep doing your own thing and ignore all advice (including mine).

another awsom sotory.every time you write you they get better and better and i love the parts with dawn

I don't know about anyone else but I'm getting bored. The last four submissions are rehash of each other.Where is Alice and where is mom during all this activity. Let's get moving forward a little. TomJ

I truly injoyed your storry and i love the build up your giving Alice and Josh. But please don't build it up too much, i don't know if i could wait much longer

And you can tell the numbnut who said he was getting bored that it's not like you were holding a gun to his head to make him read your stuff, is it?

Alice is the rose that is blooming and will fully open in time (I hope). In the meantime there's Dawn and Jacquie.

Wow, awesome. Great development. Love the comic relief.

- K

You had said you already had the plot all written out so my suggestion may be superfluous but I think it would be nice for Dawn, or Jaqueline, if not both to start to admit some type of romantic devotion to Josh which could later factor into the morality subtext. It is interesting how he felt so devoted to Valerie but less so to his sisters.

This is the best series ever anyone who says it's not is crazy ,and thanks for the speedy release of the last 3 chapters

Chapter 16 is a near-prefect balance of raw sex and character development. I also like the slow way you're moving Alice onto the stage. I think it's about time for Mom to talk to one or more of her daughters. Because you're writing in third person, Josh doesn't have to know what's going on.

i love all four siblings so much!

It's Getting Better and Better with every ongoing chapters .... and I'm loving all the four siblings more and more .... Be quick and give us all of it .... Can't wait any longer .... Personally I like Jacquie the most and would like her into actions more ....

dude.. i love this story. i love a build up and ive been reading this story for the past 2 days, about an hour every day and i just wanted to say this is by far teh best story ive read man. great work and keep it up

...although him giving Dawn facials isn't my cup of tea; I would have thought she would have wanted a full doggy-style ride with the huge finish inside.

I really don't get why Josh is so tongue-tied with Alice (I do, but I don't) and really, that seems to be dragging out more than it should.

Overall, great detail on his/her orgasms and the detail in between--that wasn't missing here. :)

Angry sex is the best kind there is.

I love this, and I do think its appropriate that you should've put it in the novel section. But I really like how you keep it sorta slow. I want it to build up to something, not some orgasm-fest. I like you're style of writing and you better keep this up!

its been a long time since ive read something so enrapturing.ive been up for hours reading these stories... ur doing an awesome job man. i have nothing but good things to say about your story. p.s. i am so in love with alice :)

I loved this chapter. Dawn is by far my faviourte of the sisters (although many may disagree) hers and Josh's relationship has had the greatest change and I enjoy the ups, downs & unpredictability of it. The wait, the tourture and the rekindle, amazing! ^_^

I wish you would branch out more and include more characters that josh is intimate with. It would be nice if you also include his life at school some more too.

To the anon below: thats because the boy is an inbred fucktard. He's such a worthless wanker you just want to choke him.

So he has a wet dream and bundles the sheets up and runs like a retard for the washer? What is he, fucking twelve?! Retard. Who even spazzes over something like that? Fuck that, who even HAS wet dreams?? CERTAINLY not anyone who either jacks off constantly or is getting pussy all the time. Never in my entire life have I ever cum on my sheets while asleep! ....maybe some precum, but thats it. He's acting like he pissed the bed, hell he always acts like a thirteen year old drama queen!

And he's such a pussy lying to Jac about everything going on. Especially since she gave him an easy out.

....and whats his weirdness with Alice?! When you Desire someone you know it, yet he tells himself he doesn't. Wtf?! You look, you stare, you get a woody. Pretty fucking simple to figure out. This guy needs therapy.

...then Laura calls, hot blonde bi girl and asks him out. Gives him her number. Doesnt write it down, doesnt go out with her then goes upstairs and jacks off. Huge. Fucking. Loser. Wtf is wrong with this tardo?!

Dawn comes home drunk and horny, wants to fuck him. Retard tells her no and sends her to bed. Wtf?! Moron!!

....then he goes for a walk with Alice, gets back and runs up to the bathroom, NOT wanting to admit that he wants to fuck her, not wanting to jack off while thinking about het, then grabs Jac when she walks by and pulls her into the room.

Dude is seriously fucked in the head. Did some hermaphrodite transvestite cross-dresser assrape him wearing Dawns dress or something, because he is seriously a mental fucktard!

...then Dawn comes to him and realizes hes fucked his other sister while everyone is in the house and reproaches him about it and he turns into a douchebag. In fact, most of the time he deals with Dawn he's a douchebag. She should just cut off his dick, stuff it and mount it to her desk chair, she'd get a lot more mileage out of it and a lot less retarded asshole mouthery!

come on now, arithmetic is not pluralized into arithmatic's, so why the fuck do authors use the shortened version of the word and pluralize it? IT is not math's, it is MATH. No pluralization nesseccary. Math is all encompassing from addition thru calculus and beyond, it is all math. so quit pluralizing the word. After all, you don't pluralize chemistry, or history do you?

And is it just me, or is the main protagonist in this story kind of a whiney, neurotic, little shit even after getting laid? Reminds me of my last girlfriend and my wife never happy even after getting what they want.

...off of somebody, or kissing them with cum-breath is about as disgusting as possible.

Was a five star story. Not anymore.

Yuck and ugh!