Party of Five Ch. 17

It was Josh's turn to sleep now, and sleep he did, for several hours. When he woke up late in the afternoon, he heard more than one voice downstairs. It sounded as though Jacquie, Dawn and his mother were all home, along with Alice. It took him a while to wake up fully, as it always did when he slept during the day. He padded into the bathroom and washed his face first before returning downstairs.

He was right about everyone being home. Jacquie was already starting on dinner, Laura was apparently making some calls in the study, the TV was on the living room so Josh supposed Dawn was in there, and Alice was...in the kitchen with Jacquie. She looked up at his arrival and, though her expression remained blank for a second, smiled at him. Josh smiled back awkwardly and sat down at the table. Jacquie noticed him and turned around.

"You're awake," she said. "Want to help me with dinner?"

"Sure," Josh replied, eager for something to do, to keep his mind off Alice's waist and how it had felt to hold it in his arms.

Alice lingered in the kitchen for a minute or so before joining Dawn in the living room. Josh set about chopping cucumbers for a salad, which he did in silence. Jacquie was looking at him quizzically. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Hmm? Oh...fine."

"You look tired," she observed. "Didn't you sleep last night or something?"

Josh shifted nervously. "Ah...not really."

"Oh. Well, you can go and lie down if you want – I can finish this."

"No, it's fine," Josh replied, and continued cutting the cucumbers.

It was good to have something simple and mechanical to do for the afternoon, but it let his mind wander, into the living room to be precise. He would have to be careful this evening, during dinner – if he looked too often at Alice, much as he wanted to, Dawn would surely pick up on it. She may have different methods of deduction to Alice, but they were just as effective. So Josh played it conservatively for the time being, and managed to get through the meal unscathed. He helped Jacquie wash up afterwards, then went into the study to do some homework, which he actually did this time. If he kept his mind occupied with calculus and Victorian novels and the reproductive system (No, not that one, he quickly realised) then he could keep thoughts of Alice's feather-soft cheeks at bay. He realised he had avoided her for most of the day, without meaning to do so, and he hoped that she wasn't taking his remoteness the wrong way.What if she thinks I'm freaked out by what happened?he thought at one point.And whatdid actually happen? Was it just a normal brother-sister thing? Well, even if it was, Alice and I never do that so it has to besomething.What though?

He wasn't sure, even after he spent several hours thinking about it. Before he knew it, it was midnight, and he could barely keep his eyes open. He packed his books away, turned off the light and walked into the living room. It was dark and everyone was apparently upstairs in bed, most likely asleep. Josh walked slowly up the stairs, sliding his hand along the banister to prevent himself from falling in the dark. He refrained from turning on the light in case it woke anyone up.

Once inside his room, he shut the door and shrugged out of his clothes and into his pyjamas. He lifted up his sheets and crawled into bed, half lying, half sitting and staring at the wall. This business with Alice was still bugging him. He wanted to know what had happened. Why had she let him put his arms around her? And why had she clutched his hand to her chest so protectively? Maybe she was just being nice. One of Josh's sisters actually did that, didn't they? Still, it was bothering him, and he couldn't sleep because of it.

He rolled back and forth, tossed and turned, lay below his sheets, lay on top of his sheets, lay upside down...but nothing made sleep come. Finally, he gave up and headed out the door. He looked up and down the passageway several times. Left was Dawn's room and the stairs, across the hall was Jacquie's room and to the right were Alice's and his mother's rooms. At first he intended on going downstairs, to watch TV or get something to eat, but he changed his mind and walked silently in the other direction, to Alice's door. He raised his hand to knock, and paused, with his knuckles hovering in front of the wood.

What was he going to do? What did hewant to do? He had no idea – all he knew was that he wanted to see her again, just to be around her. Was that a plausible reason for visiting her room during the night? Probably not. But then, if he didn't do something to calm his restless mind, he would never get to sleep. So he reached out and tapped softly on the door, loud enough only to attract the attention of whoever was on the other side.

A few moments passed and then the door started to open. Alice came into view, standing in the dark in her...nightgown, Josh realised with a sinking feeling.Uh oh. It was white and pale and gave her a spectral appearance. He forced his eyes up to her face, which was barely visible in the darkness and waited for her to speak.

"Josh," she said, a little surprised. "What is it? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Josh said, then lapsed back into silence, floored by her shadowy beauty.

"Did you want something?" Alice inquired gently.

"Um...no," Josh said in reply. "I was just...I couldn't sleep, and I...was going to go downstairs, only I got turned around and I...was walking past your room and...I just...wanted to see you," he finished truthfully, glancing up.

Alice's smile was easily visible in the dark, bright as it was. "Do you want to come in?" she said. Josh's heart gave a little jump inside his chest, like a hospital patient being revived by a defibrillator. He nodded and stepped cautiously inside, letting Alice close the door behind him. Once she had, he felt stupid.

He stood there, staring at her bed with the covers folded back where she had gotten out, and wondered why he had come here. He turned around to look at Alice, who was looking back with a nervous smile. She glanced over at the bed and then back at Josh. "Do you want to lie down?" she asked.

Josh felt himself smile and nodded. He followed Alice over to her bed and crawled in beside her. She wriggled into a comfortable position on her side then held up her arm, which Josh supposed meant she wanted him to put his around her. So he did that, and once again, he was in heaven. Alice leaned back against him, the back of her head on his chest this time, and his chin resting on her hair.

Josh realised, as he looked around, that he could count the number of times he'd been in Alice's room before on one hand, even if someone had cut off most of his fingers. Her room was simple and elegant, not covered in girly paraphernalia or discarded clothes as Jacquie's and Dawn's sometimes were. Everything was pastel – soft pinks, powdery blues, pure whites, canary yellows. And everything was incredibly neat, as he knew it would be. He lost interest in his surroundings quickly though and turned back to Alice, whose eyes were open and staring at the wall.

"Josh," she whispered, and Josh's heart melted at the sound of her voice.

"Yeah?"

"I feel safe," she said quietly. "When I'm in your arms."

Now Josh's heart reformed itself and swelled with pride. He felt an enormous amount of it, to think that he could make Alice feel safe and protected. It was usually she that protected him from whatever was bothering him. He'd never needed to safeguard Dawn or Jacquie in any way – they could usually look after themselves – but he felt an immense amount of satisfaction at the thought of looking after Alice like this, holding her tightly in his arms so that she was happy, as she deserved to be.

He sighed a deep, contented sigh and hugged her closer to him. He raised a hand and gently caressed her cheek with the back his index finger. Alice continued to smile at the wall and let her eyes flutter closed. Josh delighted in the feel of her breathing against him, quiet and soft and alive. He'd lain with Jacquie a few times now, and with Dawn, but he was usually never in a position to enjoy it, especially with the latter. At those times, he was exhausted, and he couldn't have found the strength to caress their cheeks even if he'd wanted to. Now though, he could enjoy it all.

Alice was quiet for so long, eyes closed and still smiling, that Josh thought she had fallen asleep. Eventually, however, she opened her eyes. "Josh," she said and rolled over to face him. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes with an anxious expression.

"I know..." she began and paused for several moments before she went on. "I know that that Jacquie and Dawn let you do a lot more with them," she said, "but...I..." She trailed off, lowering her gaze and looking uncertain.

"Al," Josh said, lifting her chin gently, "I don't care about that. That's not why I came. I just wanted to see you."

Alice smiled weakly. Josh smiled back reassuringly until she stopped looking doubtful and nervous. "This is what I want, Al," he said, and hugged her tighter. She curled against him and rested her head on his chest. It was a different sensation again, to hold her while they faced each other; he found that they could get even closer when they lay like that. His erection, he realised, was pressing against her belly, but neither of them really noticed.

Before long, Alice had fallen asleep, head buried in Josh's chest and feet twined around his. Josh put his head down on the pillow and soon fell asleep too, dreaming of the exact same scene he was living.

* * *

In the morning, Josh woke up to find Alice awake and looking up at him, caressing the side of his face. There was a pale grey light seeping in through the blinds, and Josh guessed the sun wasn't fully up yet. He looked over at her alarm clock, which read two minutes past six, and then back at Alice's smiling face. "It's early," he said.

Alice nodded and continued to stroke his temple. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yeah," Josh replied, closing his eyes again and pulling her closer to him. He was on his back now and Alice was resting her head and palm on his chest, looking across the room with a blissful expression. The embrace felt more than intimate to Josh – it felt comfortable, as though they were lifelong partners who were used to waking up in bed together. He could have been doing this with her all his life as far as anyone watching would know.

He listened to her soft breathing and felt the rise and fall of her breasts against his torso. They were slightly bigger than Dawn's, though it had taken Josh a long time to realise that. She didn't flaunt them or support them with a Wonder Bra, so they weren't as obvious and noticeable as Dawn's were. It was a strangely unsexual sensation to have them pressed against Josh's side; he was more pleased by the fact that she was comfortable enough with him to do so. Everything about this felt comfortable and so very, very perfect.

Josh didn't fall asleep again because he neither wanted nor needed to. He'd never slept better in his life than he had last night, and he felt completely awake and full of energy as a result. They both closed their eyes, however and lay still and silent for another hour. Josh opened his eyes after that and slowly stroked Alice's hair, eliciting a wider smile.

As the clock ticked over to seven o'clock, he heard the shower turn on in the bathroom and realised Jacquie was getting up. Alice opened he eyes and rolled over onto her back. "You'd better go," she said, and Josh was thrilled to hear the reluctance in her voice. He rolled onto his side and wrapped his arms fiercely around her once more. Alice giggled and touched her hand to the side of his face. "Josh..." she reminded him gently.

"I'm going, I'm going," Josh replied. He rolled over and pushed the covers back, then got to his feet. He looked down at Alice, who was lying with the covers gathered around her waist, bare arms gleaming in the morning sunlight and blue eyes staring up at him with a lucid happiness. He wanted more than anything to get back in the bed and spend the entire day with her in his arms. But he couldn't, so he gave her one last warm smile and walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind him. In a few seconds he was back in his own room, finding his school clothes and looking forward to the day, for a change.

* * *

Although school was boring, it wasn't unbearably so. Josh spent most of his classes sitting with his chin on his palm, staring out the window and remembering how nice it had been to wake up to Alice's smiling face. No one got much out of him during the day, except Valerie, who met him in the library in the afternoon, seeing as they both had a class off. She had mentioned that she was having some trouble with maths, so Josh explained to her everything Alice had explained to him, though he wasn't sure he was as good a teacher as Alice had been.

Spending time with Valerie was a lot like spending time with Alice; they were so similar in many ways. She had the same simple beauty, the same optimistic smile – the same calves, Josh noticed when his attention began to wander. She even had the same beautifully warm laugh that turned Josh's stomach to liquid. And they were getting along so well now; cracking jokes and leaning their heads close together to look at a textbook. Valerie even felt comfortable enough to hit him on the shoulder when he made a rather suggestive remark about the skirts some of the girls at school wore and unfortunately, forgot to omit her from the observation. "Present company excluded!" he added quickly as she hit him playfully and dissolved into laughter. In all, it was one of the best days of Josh's life, and there were plenty to choose from these days.

He had seen Alice only briefly after he'd left her room this morning, and that was in the kitchen just before she'd left, where they'd exchanged knowing smiles. It was easy for Alice to hide her elation, as she looked naturally happy most of the time, but Josh had to suppress many a cheerful grin when she was in the room. It was so much harder hiding cuddling with Alice than sex with Jacquie or blowjobs with Dawn. No one seemed to suspect anything though, and Josh himself wasn't sure whether what they were doing was anything risque.

Alice wasn't there when he came home from school, but Jacquie and Dawn were and it took some heavy cajoling to persuade the latter to stay out of his pants.

"Jacquie is in the otherroom!" Josh enunciated clearly to her when she accosted him in the laundry.

"So?" said Dawn. "We'll go upstairs. She won't hear anything."

"Shewill," Josh insisted. "She'll hear everything. You're louder than me even when I'mcumming!"

"Oh, I am not," Dawn replied dismissively. Then, at Josh's agape look, she said, "Am I really?"

"Yes!"

"Well...then we'll drive somewhere. Somewhere private."

"Dawn – no. Alice will be home soon, and Jacquie will want my help with dinner. We'll do it next time."

Dawn put her hands on her hips and pouted. "When?" she demanded.

"I don't know!" Josh cried a little more loudly than he meant to. "I don't keep a schedule!"

"Well, maybe you should," Dawn replied. "Maybe you should keep a schedule and write in it 'Have sex with Dawn'."

"And how often would I have to write that?" Josh inquired. "Everyday?"

"No," Dawn replied resentfully. "Not everyday. You could have a day off each week or something...if you wanted to."

Josh goggled at her. "Dawn..." He struggled for words. "You're incredible."

Dawn, obviously taking this the wrong way, beamed at him. "So does that mean you'll fuck me?"

"No!" Josh yelled. He looked nervously at the door and then back at Dawn, who was now looking sulky. "No fucking, no blowjobs, no making out, no...fingering. Nothing! Not while Jacquie's home. Okay? Do you understand? Am I speaking English?"

Dawn pushed her lips out petulantly and narrowed her eyes at him. "Fine!" she snapped. "Maybe I'll go out and find a guy who's willing to satisfy me. Areal guy."

"Great," said Josh. "You do that."

Clearly, this wasn't the response Dawn had been looking for.Not jealous enough, Josh suspected. She cocked her head to the side and tried again.

"Maybe I'll call Lara and ask her if she wants to lick my pussy," she said, articulating the last three words carefully with her mouth and tongue. She smirked at Josh with satisfaction, probably noticing the way his eyes seemed to widen slightly and his bottom lip quiver. He blinked several times and swallowed.

"I don't care what you do," he said, with more resolve than he felt.

Now Dawn looked murderous. Now she looked homicidal. And now Josh was shrinking back against the washing machine, wondering if it might be a good time to remind her how much he loved her or perhaps to run like hell down the street.

Dawn took a step forward and brought her face to within an inch of Josh's. "If you," she said, jabbing him in the chest with a finger, "make me wait another two weeks to fuck you...I willpersonally...pull out your eyeballs and stuff them down your pants so you can watch me kick the crap out of you. Is that clear?"

"Yes," Josh replied nervously, leaning away from her despite the pain in his back. "Crystal clear."

Dawn looked at him through her narrowed eyes a moment longer, then raised her chin and straightened up with a smirk. "Good," she said. Then she slid a hand around Josh's neck, pulled him forward and kissed him with more passion than he thought a single person capable of. When she'd finished, she smiled with satisfaction at the dazed look on his face and left the room. He had to bite his tongue to stop himself from calling her back.

It was funny to think that after all these years of never seeing Dawn give in to anything, all it took was sex with her brother to make her cave. If their conversation had been about anything else, she would have walked out of the room long before it got to the point where she kissed him. Although, Josh thought, that probably wouldn't have happened if they'd been talking about something else. But he did find it interesting, and wished he'd discovered this weakness years ago. Perhaps he could exploit it; maybe the next time she threatened to throw his entire underwear drawer out the window, he could simply threaten to not have sex with her. Josh smiled to himself at the thought.

When he returned to the kitchen, Dawn had apparently scampered, so he was free of her warning glares and sexual innuendo, at least for the moment. Jacquie was washing dishes, and Josh felt like sliding his arms around her and burying his face in her hair, but if Dawn happened to wander back into the room, things would get bad. Not because of what he was doing with Jacquie – Dawn would have no problem with that – but most likely because of the affection he was showing her and refusing to show Dawn. Dawn would kill him for sure,after she forced him to have sex with her.

If he had slowed down to think about it – which he didn't – Josh would have realised that his sudden craving to put his arms around Jacquie was actually due to his desire to do the same to Alice. He missed her, even though it had only been six or seven hours since he'd seen her last. He wasn't sure what was going on between them, but he liked it, and he hoped Alice did too.

While he wandered around the house and waited for her to come home, he decided that he was pretty sure Dawn was fingering herself in her room. He wanted to open the door and 'pretend' to have walked in on her, but he clenched his hands into fists and forced his feet to carry him away from her room. Once that thought – and image – was banished from his mind, thoughts – and images – of Alice returned. He wondered if he might be setting himself up for a big disappointment; as even when she did come home, they wouldn't be able to do anything like they'd done last night. He was proven wrong, though, the moment she walked in the door, and he realised that all he really wanted was to see her again. She wandered in with a smile on her face, not aimed at anyone in particular, but just that bright smile that was Alice's neutral look. Josh's, he supposed, was a brooding stare, Jacquie's a blank expression, and Dawn's a sly smirk.