All Comments on 'Party Punch and Pigtails'

Rather fine. Thanks. UK CYNIC.

A very hot story, made all the better by the author's command of language.

So many use metaphors to excess and confusion, it's a joy to see one who does it juuust right.

Little flaws like "meat" instead of "meet" broke the illusion of verbal tapestry. A bit too short too, but that's not saying it's bad. Quite the contrary, You've whetted the appetite, but like Kelly, you tease with a sumptuous and interesting story, only to leave off too soon.

I'm a little confused by the basis of the story, "to dress up as something you are not." Perhaps I'm looking for more layers than it suggests, but if Kelly were a bad schoolgirl then wouldn't she dress, um...*ahem* ...as an angel? If she was a straight laced type normally, then wouldn't she dress up as a slut? In my mind, more likely the latter given what you described, but that doesn't mean someone would play to the role... Unless you intended that they were releasing their inner desires. I would still expect a certain awkwardness at "playing" the role. Instead their roles seemed to play out as if they were very well practiced...

It's been 6 years since you've published anything, I doubt you'll see this, but I hope you get back to writing in any event. You do it very well. You just need to uncork a little bit more and don't be so stingy pouring out the drinks you serve.