by SmileWhenYouMeanIt
Very good start. I can't wait to see what happens next and learn more about the characters and how they grow and develop. This story stands out from the rest already for me and I would love if you'd continue it.
This story is very intriguing, it is like nothing I have ever read before. Please continue with this amazing story without forcing us to wait too long. Congratulations on a fantastic piece.
your story is with out a doubt, an attention getter! hope to hear more from you real soon!
Please continue this series! It grabbed your attention here but please finish it I want to know why this all happened now!!
Please? Pretty please? You can't just leave me hanging! So, in my most polite voice I ask that you continue this story.
Frothy intro slammed up against high drama and action in the story's main body.
Like the others have said, you can't leave us here!
May we have some more, please?
i really enjoyed this start to the story. I am intrigued by who Mac is. He came across as a young guy around her age who was a wolf. He seems aged b/c of what he's been through and I look forward to finding out what that is. I hope you will reveal more about this Nicholas and who Mac is. I found it strange that part of the attack was 4 women going down on him though! Ok, so the silver poisoning isn't good but...I am wondering if Gemma is his mate? He seemed to care about her alot. I wonder what his is wrapped up in and why he thought he was safe. He must have or I'd think he'd not have lived with gemma and risked her well-being.
I like how you use a lot of descriptive language and explain what the character is experiencing with all their senses. I also liked the conflicted thoughts in Gemma's mind. She was so torn. Only thing was she didn't seem as hysterical though as one would be to find out there were werewolves in the world (let alone that one had taken your virginity). Definitely keep writing. Off to a great start.
That is one crazy, zany start to a great story. Hoping to read more. So keep up the great work and don't leave us in suspence too long PLEASE!!!!!
That's how stories should begin! But it's cruel to leave us hanging like that :(
Remarkable! I'm in love already...starting off with a gripping chapter that has a bit of everything in it a wonderful strategy..the way you set the story up was executed perfectly...Can't wait for chapter 2!
even though wolf-form sex creeps me out, the way you wrote it made the urgency he felt and lack of control stand out more strongly. look forward to your next submission.
Bravo a tale more unique
Then the ones before.
Keep going. U hav me
Hooked....lets see it all
Loved it and hope to see more to you soon. I am also looking forward to more from this story.
You did an excellent job with this first chapter. The internal monologue was perfect, really let me get in their heads and understand who they were. I do hope you will continue with this story till the end.
I like the intrigue and the way you are giving out the story in bits and pieces with the werewolf packs. I wonder if Gemma will be able to work it out with Mac-though I would hope so given most stories on here are romances. I like her character, vulnerable mixed with a realistic 'I'm a big girl so I take responsibility' attitude. Just right in my mind for a female lead with a dominant male lead partnered together.
I do hope you continue this story and don't take too long to update. I want to see what happens when Mac finds Gemma and what exactly they get to do to punish Nicholas. I also want to know what happens to Gemma when she gets bitten and screwed by a werewolf, if anything. Questions, questions... now give us the answers!! lol
yes this is very good and I would like to read more.....please continue
all of it so far...the build up with her friends, in the apartment, him trying to track her ...awesome
Please give us the next chapter. Recently I have mainly only tuned into Literotica to see if you've posted the next bit. Whilst a significant % of the writing published on this website seems laboured or derivative or both, yours has energy, is sophisticated with a fresh story premise. Most importantly, as all the positive comments demonstrate, your story has engaged the reader. I'm a reader and am asking for 'more please'. Come on!
Your are torturing your loyal captivated readers by not posting another chapter please post one soon!! =D
Keep them coming! You have me anxiously waiting for the next chapters!
That was a helluva a start! Can't wait to see how this pans out. Keep 'em coming!
Just...Wow. Yes, though in very different ways, for different things, I am relating to how blown away Gemma was after the awesome sex after reading this.
This is really one hell of a start, and I'm SO damn glad there's more for me to read. There isn't much more to say...well, actually, there is, but it'd take a while to think on what made it awesome specifically and list it out, and I'm really just dying to read more. :D
So for now I'm just dropping a quick comment to mostly let you know you have another (of quite a few by now I imagine) fan!
Absolutely loved it. Yes it wasn't all daisies and sunshine but the best stories aren't ^_^ keep it up, its awesome
I'm alittle late to the party but hope to catch up on everything today. This is a great first chapter. It has left me w/alot of question that can only be answered by reading more, so here I go....
to checking out the next chapters and seeing how it pans out.
I havent read a story like this in a very very long time. already its one of my favorites. cannot wait for the next chapter. thank you so much.
I like a story that leaves you with questions. Going to continue with next chapter for more. Really enjoyed this.
Many stories have been written aboiut the romeo juliet aspect of weres and humans. This is a tale that is common and as humans we all tend to wonder about how we would react to it if it happened to us. This seems to be a more in depth story about the feelings one would feel going through all of that. I am very curious about what happens next.
Sincerely,
Payenbrant.
P.S. 5
I am not one to usually read werewolf stories, but I started on another chapter, and was so intrigued, had to begin from the beginning. Wonderful!
Nice story, fairly well written. But confusing as you gave very little information as to why he was being attacked, and why they left after she arrived, and why he raped her. Only that you wrote as well as you do entices me to continue; and hope you explain some things soon.
And I am assuming we will get the back story soon. It is Well Written so I expect you have a plan.
It’s a great story. If it keeps on being this good I’m gonna love it. Keep going
I love how it was NC but I still like the hero! Really nicely written story 😊
One of the best stories here or published. I haven't read it since it was first written and I wonder if it will hold up. So far so good. I wish it had been turned into a book.