All Comments on 'Paying My Son's Debt'

I mean the ending was way too quick. It left way too many questions up in the air.

First what happens with Daniel after she was admitted into the hospital.

Secondly I can't see the Father, a respected District Attorney, ever going along with such an underhanded scheme. I believe if he ever found out Daniel would be in deep shit.

Thirdly, this part made huge references to incest but no real incest happened. Will that be explored in possible future installments.

Fourthly, the Doctor said the Pills been in system for a long time meaning she has a problem with pills in short she is a drug abuser. How long has this been going on? Since her hand problem? Is she now taking the pills to ignore her problems instead of facing them? Is one of her possible problems a possible attraction to her own flesh and blood?

As you can see there is simply too many questions left unanswered simply to let things end here.

Thanks for the read,

John

There was incest on page 3 when he fucked his mother

@johns

The doctor saying the pills were in her system for a long time is not referring to her being a drug addict, but that they had been absorbed into her system for quite a while since she took them. Well on the way to causing fatality.

You are right about Daniel's father, the instant something came out about the events involving his son his career would be toast. And there is video. As embarrassing as it might be for her and Alex, it would show coercion by Daniel and his pals. No state attorney could survive that scandal, especially if he did anything to protect his son.

As for Alex, just a scared boy at best, stupid for thinking that abusing and participating in abusing his mother is the way into her heart, not a man at all.

Overall this story has major problems with its premise. That is even before problems with editing, grammar and improper word choice. There is emotional strength in some of the writing, but poorly directed. Much more thought is needed by the writer on establishing the story itself.

Please continue, on edge big time

What the hell is wrong with you? There is nothing erotic about rape. You need serious help

To the first ANON to respond to my post - as to his fucking his mother on page 3. No he did not fuck his mother on page three - he RAPED his mother in page three. Rape is not really fucking in my book. Rape is sadistic and egotistical and has nothing to do with normal sex. Fucking only happens between two consenting adults. I may or may not include making making love. When you are making love you are no longer not merely fucking but making the crucial emotional bond between two people. Rape has nothing to do with making that kind of bond so I don't even consider it even fucking.

To the second ANON who responded to my post - I hear you brother. I think you nailed everything on all points. Thanks!!!

John

And i'll take it into consideration, well some of it anyways. Its my piece, i'll write it however i want. Enjoy it or dont, there are plenty of stories if you dont like mine. I'll try to add more about the other characters, but if i reveal it all in one installment, that leav ves nothign to build off of in future ones.

You are so right about it being your story and you will write the way you want to. I am an author too but non of my stories will ever qualify for here but anyways I truly understand about 'writers creative freedom'.

I tried to only give constructive criticism without saying anything negative in my first comment however when someone tried to declare I was ignorant to a fact I rebelled when I should not have. Guess even old dogs should learn some new tricks.

Please forgive me,

John

I mean in the next part make them have a real threesome. Sure the bully is dominant but isn't he trying to make them both his sex slaves?

This was not a story I enjoyed, only as it is not the style I like. For some I am sure they really did enjoy it. Fairly well written, it could use another proof read though. Keep writing though.

as to the concern with Daniels father, has nobody heard of dirty people in positions of power?

Heard of it and have personal knowledge of it happening. But those who make it to that level know there are limits to what they can do, especially anything that goes public. It is the kind of thing that could be carried off at a local level in a small city or county, not a the state office level. You also have it on video in your story, not something that can explained away if that comes out. Daddy might be dirty, but Daniel doesn't have the smarts to be part of it and could very easily take his father down with him.

Too good to stop now gurl !

Oh my god yes. Please write more! That was amazing.

Rape is a fantasy for many.....but even a sissy like me, who HAS experienced it, knows it is a VERY bad thing. Now I am not sending hate. Constructive criticism ONLY. I still have forced fantasies lol. Maybe they should mom and son work this out and try to run? Or turning the tables is always kinda hot. But I will read whatever you come up with. I am intrigued