Paying My Son's Debt

I bit my lower lip as I smoothed it between my fingers and buried my face in shame at the very thought let alone the action. What was wrong with me? Where could I possibly have gone demented? I was painfully aroused and squirmed at the sudden ache between my legs. Lately relieving myself just didn't seem like enough. After the experience in the locker room, nothing did it quite the same. After laying there for an hour I got up and dressed in my workout clothes, prepared to go for a run. That usually helped tire me out. I did a quick check on Alex who was dead asleep on his bed, one leg hanging off the edge, wearing just pj pants and no blanket. I smiled at the sight and made my way out the door.

As I put my head phones in I began my stretching. Few miles out and I decided that should be enough and headed home. The night air had been cool and refreshing, and quiet. I never had any fear about running in middle of night. We lived in an extremely safe neighborhood, and our town had low crime rate. When I walked inside and glanced at the clock I saw I had just enough time to shower before I had to give Alex his wake up call. After I washed and rinsed I just stood under the hot shower spray. That run had done nothing to abate my aching, as wrong as that ache was.

I was an adult, who hadn't been with a man since my late husband...so long ago. It was like giving a dying man a taste of water then telling him he couldn't finish the glass. Glancing at the door I decided I had enough time and I lifted the shower head out of its holder. Normally I didn't dare even attempt this with Alex still in the house, but I couldn't wait another moment. I turned the nozzle so that it went to massage setting and I brought it lower down my body. I leaned my back against the wall and lifted a leg onto the ledge with the shampoo.

As I brought the spray of water further down I bit my lower lip in anticipation. The first jet of water made me moan, and I had to cut it off halfway for fear of Alex hearing me. Once I had the shower head directly over my clit I just tilted my hips out, allowing more access and closed my eyes against the sensation. Intense and powerful and I moaned, against my better judgment and started to move the showerhead in small circles. I heard a sudden creak and i froze as I glanced out the frosted shower door to see a tall figure in the doorway. There was no way to conceal or hide what I was doing. My fear had come true, he'd caught me.

"Get out Alex..." I ordered but he didn't budge or even acknowledge I'd said a word. He moved closer I put the shower head back in its place, groaning at not being able to finish.

"It doesn't have to be this way mom...give me a chance...don't I at least deserve that?" he asked softly.

"it's not right...I am your mother!!" I protested, the water getting a little colder. I turned it up and he stood right in front of the shower door.

"We're both adults mom...put the fact I'm your son out of your mind...for just one night. Let me take you on a date, get to know me as a grown man, instead of your son...i want to be with you, take care of you." He sounded so forlorn, so sad.

"i...I don't think I can!" I confessed, I was scared, aroused at the possibilities...I missed him. His company, the little things. Alex opened the shower day and I was forced to look up into his eyes since he was also completely naked.

"Let me love you the way you deserve to be loved," he whispered as he leaned forward cautiously and embraced me. I let his arms encircle me and I cried; not even sure why. We stood like that until the water turned to ice. Alex turned it off and lifted me up into his arms and carried me to my bed where he covered the both of us up and we just cuddled like that until I fell asleep.

I woke up alone and for a moment panicked at the lack of arms circling me. Then realized he'd probably gone to school. How was I supposed to deal with this? If it was so wrong then why did it feel so right? Being with him, around him felt safe and natural. Sighing I sat up and dressed in my Pjs and moved to lounge on the couch in front of the TV.

Alex shut his locker door and turned to head to Math class when he ran right into Daniel.

"Long time no see queer." Alex sighed and shook his head.

"I don't have time for this today Dan. I got to get to class."

"Don't forget who you're talking to now faggot...don't forget what I have in my possession now." He smiled and Alex just stared at the ground. That's when all this difficulty between he and his mother started. He just wished he could take it all back. Although now that it was already out there, he found himself pushing her boundaries and limits to see how far he could get her to bend to the thought. If there was even a slight chance he wanted to grab it.

"What can I do for you?" Dan patted Alex on the shoulder.

"I want you to come over later, my house...I want you to bring your mom." Alex shook his head.

"I can't exactly get her to...we're not talking much anymore," he confessed. Matthew snorted at the comment but didn't say a word.

"I don't care how you do it, but I expect the both of you to be there no later than 9pm. don't be late Alex, you know how I hate it when you're late." With that the trio walked away leaving Alex wondering how the hell he was going to manage getting his mom to go along with the whole thing. I awoke to the front door slamming and I straightened my clothes.

"Mom...we need to talk."

"Not this again, listen Alex, I've given it some thought..."

"Not that mom. It's Daniel." He interrupted. I stopped midsentence and sank. I hadn't even thought that it was over. It had seemed only a matter of time before he came back wanting more; not that I was that hot. But that type of complete power over someone had to be addictive

I sighed.

"Maybe we should move..."

"And then he'll post the video on the web mom."

"What makes him think we just his...his fucking sex slaves? That we're going to just come at his beck and call??" Alex shrugged.

"That's Dan mom, He thinks everybody lives to serve him."

"Well we got to get that video tape....how long is he going to do this?" I demanded, folding my arms across my chest. Alex shrugged.

"Till he gets bored is my best guess...this is my fault...let me go and try talk him out of it." I shook my head.

"I hate to think of what he'd do if I didn't appear. What time?" I asked.

"No later than 9, so if you want to get ready there should be enough time." I looked down at my rumbled Pj's.

"I'm ready..." I replied. What reason did I have to dress up? Why make it more interesting? Alex pulled out his cell and texted Daniel a quick message and then we left. The car ride was silent as he drove with ease.

"Won't his parents be home?" I asked.

"Mom left him when he was baby," he reminded me.

'And his father?"

"Never home, works too much, Daniel basically lives alone except for the butler. But that old man has weekends off." With how much he knew I had to wonder how long Alex had been doing this before I'd been demanded to join.

"How...how long have you been bi?" I asked softly. He actually blushed at this and avoided my eyes. Finally he shrugged.

"I don't know mom...Daniel is the first guy I've ever been with, and I know that the entire situation isn't like a relationship or anything. I can't help what I like...and I like the way he treats me...most the time anyways," he confessed.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I'm a man now mom, I can handle my own problems...or so I thought. I want you to see me as the man I am, not your little boy that needs help!" His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and I dropped the subject. He was stubborn like his father; I doubted he'd ever give up or change his mind. I sighed and closed my eyes.

Before long Alex came to a stop in front of a rather large three story house, there didn't appear be close by neighbors, it was a little out city lines and more into the country. When he turned the car off he got out and opened my door.

"Let's just get this over with," I muttered. We walked right around to the back and down a step of concrete stairs to a basement door where Alex knocked. I hugged myself, almost not believing this was happening. How could I let this happen? Daniel answered the door and upon seeing us he smiled.

"We'll discuss the proper way to greet me later." He motioned us in and Alex put his arm around my shoulders as he pulled me in with him and directed us to the living room where he sat me down on the couch. Instead of sitting next to me he went and kneeled next to the recliner and leaned against the arm of the chair. He didn't explain or say a word but as Dan sat down I saw the point. He began petting my son like he was a mere animal.

The thought made my blood boil, degrading and rude. Arrogant spoiled child he was. I had image of him bent over my knee while I'm spanking him. Although if he were my son I would have never allowed him to grow up to be that way to begin with.

"What do you want?" I asked. Alex shook his head in warning. Dan chuckled.

"You weren't lying...see sexy momma, here in my house, I am the master of this domain. Unless I speak to you directly, or give you permission to speak, you keep your mouth closed. Understood?" he asked.

"And if I don't?" I questioned, he smiled.

"Then I punish you, severely." It was my turn to laugh.

"This isn't just some master/slave thing going on here...you need to grow the fuck up and find yourself a hobby..." I was cut off when he lunged forward and wrapped his hand around my throat cutting me off midsentence. He squeezed and I found myself struggling to breath. He stared down at me menacingly.

"That's the point...this ISN'T some game. This is the price you're paying for the debt your son owes me. And I will take it anyway I please I don't think you're quite understanding." He forced me to my feet only to throw me to the floor before my son. He reached out to comfort me but Daniel glared. Alex hand went back to his lap.

"Now...as you can see, your son is quite the good little slave...obeys, rarely needs to be punished anymore. You could learn a thing or two." Daniel ran a hand through Alex's hair and pulled it a few times. Alex closed his eyes, face turning red.

"I will NEVER act like that I don't care how much you beat me, or what blackmail you have on me." Daniel smiled.

"Alex, take her to my room," he ordered. Alex look torn, but reached for me I scooted back but he grabbed my ankle.

"Mom...please don't fight. It's worse if you fight." I shook my head and kicked at him.

"Alex, I am your MOTHER! You will let me go and stop this nonsense." Frowning he grabbed both ankles and slid me closer to him where he picked me up over his shoulder and carried me down a hallway. I hit his back with my fists.

"Put me down damnit!" I yelled kicking my legs. He threw me down on a king size bed where he reached towards the corners of the bed and started to shackle me down. I fought, for all I was worth only to be easily overpowered by my own child.

"Why are you helping him?" I demanded.

"Because if you just listen, the punishment isn't so bad later...you don't understand." When he looked at me I saw a haunted look in his eyes and I had to wonder what abuse he suffered at the hands of this bully. Dan stood in the doorway and instructed Alex to blindfold me. Once the scarf was tied around my eyes I felt a little calmer. At least I wouldn't have to see what was about to happen. I could hear Dan's footsteps approaching. My heart raced in anticipation of what was about to happen.

"I don't care anymore about your damn video...I'm going to go to the cops if you so much as touch me..." I was interrupted by a rough slap to the face.

"You will keep quiet! Now, Alex, if you'd be so kind...I need my knife." My heart beat so fast I almost couldn't breathe. I wanted to know what he was going to do. I felt the slide of metal as the knife traced up my stomach to my chest where it was thrust forward and brought back down, tearing my shirt and bra directly down the middle. I could feel them fall to the sides and the cold air hit my flesh, making me shiver.

"I think mama cita likes this....hmm.. Like mother like son perhaps?" Alex didn't reply, unsure that it was really a question directed at him. The blade lightly trailed down my chest and abdomen, sliding into my waist band before I heard the fabric of that shred too. The force of him cutting it off lifted me slightly off the bed and I gasped at the sign of brute strength. I heard a chuckle, but nothing more was said as I was deprived of most my clothing. I pulled on my restraints to try and cover myself, knowing my son was nearby and probably staring. My cheeks turned red as I started to cry.

"shhh, don't cry my lovely concubine...you will see it my way soon." I growled and spit towards his face, or at least where I thought it would be. He laughed and I felt his hand sting my cheek. He started to kiss my chin, making his way down my throat, I tried to squirm but he held his hands on my shoulders to keep my chest down while he straddled my hips. When his lips reached my breast I inhaled sharply as his tongue darted out to flick at my nipple. With my reaction, he brought it into his mouth, lightly sucking on it and I reluctantly let out a moan.

One of his hands trailed a slow path down my side towards my hips and I bucked up trying to get him away, but he was too heavy for me to barely lift an inch. I cried out in frustration and he bit down, making me scream.

"tsk tsk mommy, you need to behave," he scolded as he released his hold of his mouth. He kissed lower and lower and I crossed my ankles tightly. There was no way I was giving in! He ground his knee in between them until the weight of his body forced them apart that would defiantly leave bruises the next day. I shook my head violently.

"Don't do this...I can give you almost anything else you want."

"But I don't want anything else from you..." he replied and I felt his arms cup my legs behind the knees, bringing them close to my head so that i was open and exposed to him. With him kneeling there, there was no way I could close my legs and he reached down to feel me.

"Why fight? Your body is obviously loving the treatment" he dipped his fingers in, finding no resistance as I was extremely wet. I didn't reply I just squirmed trying to dislodge him, but he took the advantage and pushed every inch inside me. I threw my head side to side crying out, felt like he was going to tear me in two.

"I can't take anymore!" I gasped, but he gave one last thrust and he was buried deep inside me and he didn't move at first, allowing me time to relax and adjust to the size of him. As I forced myself to relax, lest it hurt even worse, I could hear his breathing coming in short pants, as tho he were trying to maintain control.

"That's a good girl...just breathe," he coaxed. I shook my head, tears running paths down my face to the pillow beneath me. How could this be happening to me? Daniel began moving slowly at first, but didn't stay that way for long. Soon he was slamming his body into mine, causing me to cry out with every slap of our bodies.

The orgasm caught me by surprise and I screamed out as my body was taken by a powerful tidal wave of ecstasy. It was only a few minutes later that I felt him give one last final thrust and fill me with his seed. The heat of it spread through my body and I hated to admit how good it felt. He just froze above me, not quite leaving my body and for a while, I didn't mind. I felt hands remove my blindfold and I discovered I was staring up into the eyes of my son. I cried out and tried to pull myself up and away from him but his body held me against the bed.

"What a show!" Daniel applauded and I continued to stare up at my baby boy in horror.

"How could you?"I whispered.

"You enjoyed it when you thought it was him....it was the only way I could prove to you that I can make you happy too." I turned my head and closed my eyes, trying to escape into some other alternative reality.

"Can I leave now?" I asked aloud.

"I suppose I am done with you two for tonight. But there are many more nights to come...don't go far." Alex reached forward and began to undo my wrists, with his manhood still buried deep within me. Once I had both wrists free I pushed him away forcefully and curled up into a ball.

"Mom..."

"Please Alex...just leave me alone!" I pleaded. Of all things, how could these have happened? How could my entire life be turned upside down? Alex quietly handed me a large shirt and shorts and I dressed and made my way to my car. Not another word was spoken between my son and I as I drove us home. And even after we were at home I quickly made my way to my room and locked myself inside. The next few days went by quickly, I didn't leave my room, only got out of bed to use the bathroom and get a glass of water.

I called in sick to work, and I just laid there and went over the events in my head. I just couldn't figure out where I'd gone wrong making my son think he ever stood a chance...what could I have ever possibly said or done to make him think any of that was okay or normal? Had I coddled him too much? Had I not encouraged him to go find friends enough?

Alex knocked on my door on several occasions, trying to entice me with hot food, or offering a foot massage. But I wasn't sure if I could ever look at my boy the same now. Things had changed between us and I wasn't sure if I could ever see him the same as before. He had a few conversations, mostly one sided, I couldn't find the strength to respond to most of what he was saying. He apologized, went on about how long he's loved me more than just a son, and how long he's wanted to be with me, and his thoughts about our "future" and how different if could be if I'd just give him the chance.

I only cried more, I was slipping further and further into a state of depression and I couldn't help but let myself fall. It was almost a week later before the threats came. Phone calls from Daniel, Alex outside my door threatening to break it down if I didn't come eat. My work called, I'd stopped calling in sick and just lay in bed. For the first time in my life I contemplated just ending it all. Seemed like the perfect solution to everything.

I emptied my medicine cabinet and found an old bottle of Vicodin from the time I'd fractured my wrist trying to adjust satellite dish, and falling off the ladder. I pulled them out and emptied them onto the counter, counting 45. I turned on the faucet and started to swallow them, two by two. After I'd gotten half of them down my throat began to close, making the next half even more difficult to swallow. My hands shook furiously, and yet inside my head everything seemed calm and okay. I was done, this was it for me. No more pain or indecision. I felt a little weak and dizzy as I finished the last few and made my way back to my bed where I curled up and relaxed against my pillows.

I didn't bother with a note, I didn't make any last minute phone calls, I closed my eyes and embraced sweet blissful darkness.

"Mom?? Work called, they haven't heard from you... please just answer me so I know you're alive!" Alex called out from the doorway. He tapped his foot as he strained to hear even the slightest of noises indicating she was alive. Generally he could hear the soft weeping, and while it stabbed at his heart, it was a sign she was still alive and breathing. He had a feeling that something like this would happen. His mother was a fragile woman...still never thought her reaction would be THIS drastic. He tried the doorknob, still locked. He knocked again.

"Mom! You can't stay in there forever! You have a job, and bills and responsibilities. I am sorry about what happened, but that's no reason to give up." He pressed his ear against the door. The eerie silence caused him to feel unease. Sighing he pulled out the bobby pin and pushed it in the doorknob, popping the lock. It wasn't that difficult to undo. But he had wanted to respect her privacy. It had been little over a week, and he couldn't let this continue. As he slowly opened the door he searched for her only to find her curled up on her bed surrounded by vomit. He shook her.