by leBonhomme
"It you didn't like the story, others do, so please let them rate it."
Do you mean you only want to be rated by those giving a good score?? Sounds as if you can't face the truth.
In Chapter 3, maybe Pete will get to experience the "brother hole"! You just know Pete is going to love fucking his sister's asshole! You also know that sister will love Pete's sperm enemas!
Don't know how experienced as a writer you are, but your writing is excellent in drawing out the moment, stretching the excitement pulling each and every word until the last dribble of meaning has been milked for their effects. I have had an erection from the beginning and I am loathe to masturbate. I wish that you were here, I'm sorry that I am not there.
Almost, almost I wish I'd had you for a sister....or just a friend.
Thank you for the nice comment. It took me a second reading to understand that you then were addressing the girl in the story, not its male author.
leBonhomme
Premise continues to be good.
Descriptions of sex are weak. Needs much more in the way of details, not just saying it was happeneing, it felt good, it was over.
Disappointing.
Three stars.