All Comments on 'Plain Gold Ring Pt. 01'

Rushed and needs editing.

"She's glad their back to their usual banter. That whatever...that...was is gone."

THEY'RE not THEIR. Is just one example.

Nothing new here per se, but Girl in the Moon knows how to wring a fresh level of emotion out of banal & generic dramatic situations. This started and finished strong but the middle was a muddle. Blame it on Melissa. The villainess was not quite illing enuff .

It is their, NOT they're. Nice story, but hard to believe he lived with a sociopath like her for so long and never saw it.

Soulspice: "She's glad THEY'RE back to THEIR usual banter." Easy to have missed that there were two occurrences.

I am usually pretty tolerant of spelling and grammar errors but there were a few that caught my eye also.

It was a great start to a story. I felt it was almost complete so I am very curious where this will go in part two.

Interesting characters and plot. I have the odd impression that Sam will be more involved in this than Maggie will like.

Anon is right, it it they're.

Wow. Excellent story. I would say though that I feel a little bad for June. He is angry and hurt right now. That is never the best time to make a relationship decision. They may be hot and heavy right now, but I wonder how their relationship will go during the light of day. He still has a lot of broken heart to sift through, and that can be hell on the other person. No matter what he says, he can't turn his love off for Melissa. She may be a bitch and a sociopath, but there was a reason why they were married as long as they were. She was able to manipulate him for a reason. He loves her and really didn't want to leave her. He can't turn those off in a span of a day. June has a lot of growing up to do, and I feel as though she is about to get a crash course on what it's like to be an "adult, adult".

Kudos on such a well written story. You captured the human emotion very well. 5 stars.

My father used to be obsessed with the idea of sociopaths. I still have two or three books in boxes in my basement that he gave me over the years on things like how to spot one, etc. It was a weird issue for him. He owned his own business, and every time an employee would get caught in a lie or argue back at him about something that was always the explanation.

The reason I mention this is that both of the women he married were sociopaths. Like, genuinely so. And everybody could see it but him. Hell, his lawyer tried to talk him out of that second marriage, and his brothers and sisters flew in from all over the country as well. But the ultimate irony is that the person who saw sociopaths around every corner and in the windows of every home couldn't see one when she was sleeping in his bed.

What was it that U2 once said? Love is blindness.

Something different but still very good. You capture the essence of what seemed to be an impossible attraction and ride it through to the sweaty, explosive conclusion. 5*

Stop being so pedantic. So they got one wrong.

Dose it rally mater witch, or weather ewe licked the tail or knot?

has cast the hook of a first chapter and captured a reader...me. GITM has created another better-than-wonderful story.

I am compelled to read to find out what happens to these people although I am afraid to find out more...the characters are so real and the pain that seems to be lurking, waiting to assail them seems to be too hurting.

GITM is the very best pure writer (storyteller) on Literotica. I marvel that she can create people so complicated while unfolding a story so smoothly. Every revelation is perfectly logical and, at the same time, totally unexpected. Every line of dialogue is perfect, moving the story and creating a character to completion.

Oh, and to those who object to GITM's 'their' for 'they're' error: how dare you cavil about grammar at an author who can spell 'veterinarian' with such aplomb?

Nice change from BTB and pointless & pathetic RAAC.

And then there are the sad little cuck-wanna-be's.

WTF is up with THAT??? Seriously???

Anyway, a nice tale.

Hopefully it goes someplace good!

GITM can write, that is for sure. Three likeable characters and one lying cheating no good rotten slut - now that is good character development. Hope they can get married and push out a few rug rats to take their time, energy, money, and attention!

I REALLY, really, really, really, really enjoy your writing!

The best part, is that you circumvent the one complaint that so many gifted authors still manage to get, despite the "complete package" quality inherit in their writing:

"Its not EROTIC!" "This is supposed to be litEROTICA!"

I love how you can build complex characters and STILL introduce steamy sex!

(BTW, for my personal taste, I don't care whether a story features gratuitous sex scenes in it or not.....that is NOT why I read here.)

But when they do, and they are as well written and naturally occurring as you present them, YES, I really do enjoy them.

Thanks for maintaining high quality in your work! I will follow this series with great interest.

I'm on the "THEY'RE" versus "THEIR" situation IMMEDIATELY. Will remedy situation ASAP, as well all know this is INCREDIBLY DIRE! Don't worry, I HAVE IT COVERED. I'm going through it and will make appropriate tweaks.

BTW I've always had a fascination with sociopaths, too. And that U2 song rocks.

Thank you to everyone commenting. I'm absorbing the constructive criticism. Enjoy your Friday!

I hope the wife is out of there for good.

The feel-good story of the summer. 5 thumbs up.

I'll be checking every day for the next chapter(s). Interesting characters, including the aunt and "uncle."

GITM has style and I hope she will give her ars poetica up and she will write a happy ending story. Her last Reconciliation story was already a happy ending task. 5*****.

Wife is a whore, cheats on a fairly new marriage, the other cheater is a vet and has a wife, what a scum bag. Like he has any interest in Melissa just our for sex. John is blind if your wife goes out on a sat all dressed up to the nines , that make you a wimp if u cannot figure what's going on. So June rat him out and now he having rebound sex with a teenager who has a crush on him. So where do you take this story from here. Who comes out of this in one piece.

There is something to be said about how well-rounded and complete your characters are and how the dialog and emotion seem so... natural.

FYI, Melissa complaining about how she isn't "Mrs Cleaver" and "June" now slowly filling the void in Mr Carver's life... interesting hidden reference there. :)

Looking forward for the next chapter

Erotic, funny, and in 3rd person to boot! ;)

Great story, that I feel is headed in a good direction. I told the MILF down the street her husband cheated on her while she was on vacation and she just thanked me and moved him out. All I got was asked to mow her lawn. :-(

I only mentioned the specific because of the insulting tone to the incorrect correction. If people start being insulting, they're putting their ass out there to be smacked.(woo hoo, all three)

Ewe kneed two bee shore your write.

Like I said, I am pretty tolerant of these errors but they are distracting and can break the flow for a reader. It would be nice if there were fewer.

Great story regardless. Thanks!

( And I know shore was a stretch. Its the accent)

Great start. I'm glad the worthless cheating cunt was caught and thrown out of the house, which obviously was his alone, but I think he jumped too soon into a relationship with the younger neighbor, crush or no crush. I'm curious to see how this plays out. I'll be reading...

Good story. Thanks.

Will look for the next part.

AMerryMan

By the gods, I hate LW stories - even when they have hot parts they still turn my stomach.

However, GITM wrote it, so I must read it - and as uncomfortable as the situations are, the storytelling is top-notch, and there's no doubt that I'll be reading further chapters and anything else she writes!

Intelligent, engaging, real character development, erotic tension...add me to the followers of GITM! One tiny thing bothered me. He would not have had a condom in his wallet. But I am glad he used one.

I couldn't wait to finish the story to post this, and maybe this comes up later, and/or maybe someone else already said this, but at least SOME time had to pass between her knowledge of the pregnancy and the miscarriage.

Are we to believe that she never told him about being pregnant?! Especially after they've spoken about kids?

Sorry, not buying it. She's either lying about it to try to get sympathy for her cheating. or it's true and the story is ridiculous!

It has already been confirmed that the pregnancy did not happen.

There is absolutely NO writing skill anywhere ! One of the most boring story of all times. "1*" of course !

Pretty good straight forward story. Can't wait for Ch. 02!

A 5!

Inept drivel !

Great story line looking forward to future Chapters. Thanks for sharing.

I think the characters are complex, realistic and extremely interesting. I love good writing, and I believe it starts with believable characters, doing believable things. You have a great start here. Looking forward to more.

Rutty

Poignant, kind of sad. I am sure John and June don’t have a happy ending in store. It’s kind of gritty and pathetic, but for a day or two it is very nice. Excellent writing, as usual.

You have the sociopath of the wife, or the guy who lusted after an 18 yr old who looked up to him as a mentor. The only one i feel sorry for is that girl. Sorry all, just not for me.

I normally don't score multi-part stories until the end, and I'm saving my comments until the end, but I have to say that this is five stars right now!

I had to start over after the first page. The switch between June to John with Maggie and Melissa thrown in was confusing. Once on track the story flowed well. The characters are straight forward. Melissa is detestable. John loves his wife, but is in denial. He needs to leave poor June out of it. She is just a young girl with a crush. A great start.

He’s been married for years. His sociopathic wife claimed that she’d been pregnant, so their sex was unprotected. So how does he just happen to have a condom handy?

Who cares why he had the condom, with her as a neighbor and with a wife like that, wouldn't you? I would have at that age, in fact I did often. Signed: BTW

... You have a condom. Not, like, a box of condoms, but as a guy you come across them from time to time. Guys leave them on urinals a lot, for example,probably drunk. If you're in a good relationship and not cheating, you won't pick it up, either because you're not using them or you've got your own, but if you're single or unsatisfied in your relationship? You won't even think about it, just throw it in your wallet next to the gift cards.

Sad

I stopped reading this story, it's a well written story but for me it failed on this sentence "But she doesn't come home. She texts him a few hours later, when he's almost crazy with worry, that she had too much to drink and is crashing on Carrie's sofa."

Why didn't the author have him drive over to Carrie's to get his wife if he is so worried about her, he doesn't even offer in the story. Story just fails on the simple reality test. In this real world situation any husband would go and collect his wife.

Unlikable characters all the way around.

Unrelateable.

There's being in love with someone and then there's being foolish. How are you married to a sociopath for nearly a decade and continue to buy into her bullshit? I find it more than a bit ridiculous.

Can’t get into it.