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Click hereHer father's father, painting her unborn brownie-logs, deep...up...into the stinking, fuming, inner-sanctum of her back-passage; his sizable knackers swinging gallantry between her open legs; ironically-gently, and perfectly-rhythmically...grazing...the very tip...of her young, engorged, female...clitoral helmet, with their cool, hair-clad, swinging, grandfatherly love.
Sherrie, has orgasms whilst filling the tank, nowadays: a throw-back from her younger garage hydro-carbon smelt affair.
(To be continued...)
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 12 years agoI'm not into scatology so I personally do not like the story but the story itself was well written and descriptive. Even if it disgusts you, you should not criticize the subject because anyone else can say the same thing about anything else.
I think you have a great writing style but I personally do not like the story. Don't let the other people affect your writing.
Baloney_Ponyover 12 years agoWhat part of "look at the low scores" don't you understand? At the time of this reading, you're rocking a 1.32 stars.
Anonymousover 12 years agoThe word revulsion comes to mind as I am reading this. The writer shows some talent, but it is not my style.
nightshadowover 12 years agoReading this story was like this: William Gibson and Hunter S. Thompson got together and made a literary devil-baby who then went out and beat the shit out of Earnest Hemingway while trying to make it look like Andrew Dice Clay was guilty of the crime. If you can wrap your brain around that one, that pretty much fits what I just read.
Anonymousover 12 years agoI've read some bad stories over the years but never one I felt strongly enough to write a critical comment but here goes This wad absolute shite its not writing you should be ashamed I only read the first fee paragraphs and feel that ive wasted part of my life
Disgusted
nightshadowover 12 years agoYour writing style is, to say the least, well-honed and colorful in the extreme. Lyrical and poetic in some ways. But, dear God, the subject matter was well beyond the pale. It was like witnessing the waste of an extraordinary talent, like having the privilege of watching a true musical prodigy masterfully playing a kazoo at a NASCAR race track.
This category calls for Incest/Taboo. You touched on the incest aspect, I guess, but went after the taboo with both barrels blazing and then some. I understand that scatology is a very real interest for some people, but their numbers are quite low and their kink is usually more visual in nature, since one can describe defecation in only so many ways (a feat that you managed with incredible skill, I might add).
I saw no real story here and the writing is so blatantly jarring that it was impossible to get any pleasure out of it. But your STYLE was otherwordly and got my attention. If you could apply it towards a real story that has something of a more mainstream interest to it you could quite easily make a good name for yourself as a writer. As it stands, however, I can't even bring myself to vote on this piece- it was just too offensive and over-the-top for my tastes. So keep the writing style; lose the shock-and-awe treatment.
Anonymousover 12 years agoFor the first time that I have ever been on this site, someone writes differently than every other person and then gets slammed for doing it. Lets try some new things here, if not we'll get the same stories over and over again.
Personally, it kind of reminds me how Palahnuik writes.
Anonymousover 12 years agoDisgusting and poorly written. Unless this was meant to be a joke, don't ever write another word....Please!
Anonymousover 12 years agoIt's no wonder that this site is going downhill when shit like this is allowed to be submitted.
