All Comments on 'Plaything of the Gods Ch. 05'

Great story look forward to more chapters

it's tHrough. A trough is something horses drink from. An editor, or proof reader at least, would improve flow and clarity.

Otherwise, well done! I'm enjoying your story very much! :D

I like the storyline, but the other poster was dead on about needing an editor. I've followed the story since the first chapter, and the distraction from the sheer number of errors detracted a lot from the overall experience. I voted accordingly.

The most notable from this chapter? "It was almost as if I could more clearly smell the scents she excreted when she was excited..."

Excreted? Honestly? It means ridding waste. Where, exactly, was he sniffing?

The rest are mostly were/where, then/than, trough/through, etc. and very unusual syntax that makes me wonder if the writer is a native speaker of English, or if it's a second language that hasn't quite advanced to fluency.

Overall? A creative idea and a plethora of (sometimes humorous) errors that could have been avoided with a simple spell-check program. Sex scenes are well executed, but the characters are a bit two-dimensional.