All Comments on 'Poke Her Night'

Well written. Ignore the other idiots who write stupid comments because they don't like the content! If wife sharing is such a turn off, perhaps it's time he invested in a Bible or took out a subscription with Mills & Boon! Look forward to reading more of the same

I like the way you tell the story and build up to what is happening. I hope you keep writing in the loving wives section. Lately there is a shortage of good writers, so it was great to read yours and get a good one for a change

I have to first confess that while I understand that there are people who get off on their spouse sleeping with others, I wouldn't be one of them. That being said, my issue with this story isn't the arrangement of sleeping with the winner, but the total lack of respect that Barb has for Ryan. In the beginning, he was a jerk for agreeing to her sleeping with Gary, but she should have just refused. Then, when she agreed to get a ride home with Gary when Ryan won at poker, she betrayed him again. She even said when asked if someone would see Gary on the side that it would be cheating, but she was fine with doing it without Ryan's knowledge until he figured it out. Sounds like cheating to me. Overall, I thought the writing was good, but I just thought Barb was not worth being married to. Thanks for writing. Tim

The author's writing style allows the reader to be drawn into the story and that makes the story come alive.

With all of the erotic sex and sexual situations that were vividly expressed, made for a very nice presentation.

Well done.

It takes place in the 60's, before STD's could be fatal. (the disclaimer at the beginning)...

Then he took out his cell and punched up a call. "Hey Gary, Ryan. You got anything going on tonight?" He waited for Gary to answer. "So, could you use some company?" Another pause. "Good, we're about five minute away. We'll be right there."

I didn't know that there were cell phones in the 60s.

well written. Great story. Write more

Well imoressed, well written story, everything paced just right, and leads the reader in deeper and deeper. Cant wait to see your next one

If they truly loved or cared for each other they wouldn't fuck around on each other. But then do swingers or people with open marriages really care for thier partner? deep down do they truly believe that they could stop fucking around with other people if their parnter asked them to? I don't think they could. Swingers, Cucks, Sluts, Cheaters never stop doing what they think is a good thing. They don't care what anyone else thinks only what makes them feel good. What a sad life these people must lead. No emotions except maybe lust. Any other emotion doesn't exsist.

Loved the whole story, wife read it too and said it sounded like fun. Did I hear a door open?

I kept waiting for something more interesting that musical cocks and cunts but it never happened. The sexual politics was the only thing that kept my interest, although I admit skipping a lot.

I hadn't noticed the cell phone that Azpiri mentioned ("Confused"), probably because I overlooked the note about the time frame on first reading. However, I do have my own problem with it. The STD problem is referenced a few times, concerning the widowed Gary possibly "hooking up" outside the group and potentially contracting something. It is quite clear that all these marriages, including the one that ended in death some months prior to the story's start, were closed, and Gary had been celibate in his grief. By restricting the couples (and Gary) to each other, the relationship remains closed in a very real sense with no increase in disease probability. The problem is that there is no mention of birth control, beyond the implication of Jenny and Craig's wanting to start a family being a factor in Poke Her Night coming to an end. In the 1960s the Pill was in its infancy, with ample side effects and quite a few women who couldn't take it at all. That all of these women could take it with no noticeable side effects is highly unlikely. Admittedly, in those days the Pill rendered a woman infertile by halting the menstrual cycle, and there is no mention of any wife's period getting in the way of the fun, which quite likely would happen with later versions of the Pill. Still, I overlooked that easily while reading unaware of that note but would have been quite concerned about unintended pregnancies had I noticed it first.

All that aside, I did enjoy the story on its own terms.

To all of you who noticed the impossible cell phone. Sorry, I originally wrote this a contemporary piece but decide when the ending suggested that Betty would be taking on another group of guys, well with AIDS around now, it just seemed too risky and I decided to make it a period piece and well, I didn't do a very good job. Ryan should have pulled up the pay phone at the gas station, or perhaps he could have had a Mobile Phone. He was a contractor after all and it would have made good sense.

Anyway, sorry. I should have run it by an editor maybe.

Patty Marie.

At least the author tried to make the story somewhat realistic and coherent. This is erotic fiction after all, and was never intended to be the next NYT best seller. I thought the pacing and story development were quite good. The dialog wasn't stilted and the characters were reasonably well thought out. I'm not a grammar expert, but I didn't see anything glaring in that department either. Overall I enjoyed this story very much and encourage the author to continue writing.

I loved the story and the story line, would love more like it.

And this is set in the 1960s?

Your writing is OK but you need to stay contemporary. Everyone noticed the cell phone. But there was a lot more wrong with putting it in the '60's. I don't know how old you are but during the 60's $500 bucks was a helluva lot of money. That was about 5 weeks pay for my dad in 1968. When I went into the US Army my base pay was $68/mth. So, $500 was a healthy chunk of change.

Next, in the 60's men were a lot more proprietary AND far less likely to go along with someone dipping a wick in the husbands well. Most women would have never gone along because there was a lot more social stigma to having sex outside of marriage I don't give a shit WHAT the show Mad Men says. Women kept a wary eye on women whom they knew did any kind of playing around. In this period the husband wasn't the "equal partner" he supposedly is today and only 21% of households had both spouses working on a continual basis. The result was the husband was the wife's meal ticket and she wasn't about to tolerate ANY possibility that the man was going to find greener pastures. Women, too, were a lot more proprietary. :)

The writing was OK. No major mistakes other than you tried , in my view, to write a 60's theme with a 21st century mind set.

Cheers

C

However, like Chagrined and others pointed out, it could not have occured in the 1960s.

Then there are all the stupid cock size statements. First if you Google "Penis size" the average is slightly under 6" not 7". Plus only 1% are 8" or longer. 9" would be less than 1 in a million and most likely would be the result of genetic defects. Furthermore, an excited vagina is about 4" and while it will easily stretch 175 percent (7") it is unlikely it would stretch 225% (9") without tearing and/or extreme pain.

Finally, a beer can is 2.56" in diameter. No human has a cock that size and 2" in diameter would be very rare. Nevertheless, she is doing a 69 with Bill's beer size penis. That is impossible since even if a penis was 2" in diameter it would be difficult to put in a mouth.

Had the author used terms like extra long or extra thick, I would have ignored the 1960s nonsense and given it 5 stars. However, because of 1960s combined with all the stupid penis size statments, I felt the story deserves the 1* I gave it.

Just made reading this difficult. They seem to have no real love or respect for one another so why are they married? And I'm real sure cell phones were connected to the wall in those days. Waste of time to read this sorry story.

You need to write more stories like that!!

Just a bit too long. After awhile, started to get monotonous; & agree on the size thing. Google BJUI NORMAL for the real info. A little exaggeration is ok in fiction, but that much hyperbole is rarely erotic.

I loved the story but it skipped over what must have been an "interesting" conversation. My stab at it below, probably inserted after the fourth paragraph.

********************************************************

"Gary, I fucked up," Ryan said, once the others had left the room.

"What did you do, man?"

"Well I owe you five hundred bucks and I don't have it."

Gary looked at him. "Yeah, I wondered about that. I thought you'd said you weren't doing so good. You only had two pairs."

"I thought you'd fold," Ryan said.

"Dude, I've been playing cards with you a long time."

The two men stood in silence. Gary was coming out of a half year of mourning and was beginning to feel like his old self again. Or at least he had moments of it, enough to remind him how life used to be before Lynn got sick. He had even noticed a couple of moments tonight, with the pretty wives bustling around, when his libido seemed to show signs of reviving.

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking," Ryan said. "Well I could sign over the truck to you, but I would still need to drive it. You know, without that we're screwed."

"That F-150 is worth a lot more than five hundred dollars," Gary said. "And actually, I don't need it."

"So what do you need?"

Gary laughed out loud. "At this point I'd say I need to get laid," he joked. "Here, bend over this chair."

"Fuck you," Ryan said, and the two guys laughed.

"These were definitely some nice ladies here tonight, but, you know, they're all married," Gary mused.

Ryan said, "Well, that wouldn't help me anyway, they aren't married to me -- I can't offer them to you."

"What?" Gary asked.

"Well, except Betty, but you wouldn't want ..."

"I wouldn't?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"What? Your old lady is the hottest one of the group."

"Compared to Jenny?"

"Sure man, Jenny's too skinny. She doesn't do anything for me."

"So you're saying I should let you fuck my wife to pay off five hundred dollars?"

"Uh, no, man, I can fuck a hooker for fifty bucks. Your wife is hot but I'd be getting screwed both ways on that deal. For five hundred bucks I should get all night."

Ryan looked at his friend. "I don't know what just happened here. Are you saying you want to spend the whole night with my wife?"

"Under normal circumstances it would be nothing more than a passing thought and I wouldn't say anything. But you do owe me five hundred bucks. Also I don't think she'd mind."

"Not mind! You don't know her."

Gary said, "You don't know how she looks at me sometimes."

Ryan was beginning to panic. "Well, any of us might have an interest in somebody. That doesn't mean we act on it."

"Some of us might bet more than we have, too," Gary said. "That doesn't mean we don't pay it."

There was a long silence. Then Gary said, "All right, man, the truck. Fuck it. But I'm taking it. If I own it I'm going to drive it."

"She'll say no," Ryan said, softly. "She's not going to like this idea at all."

"What, sleeping with me? You're right, she might be offended by the idea of it. In fact, she probably would be. Let's just do the truck."

"I guess we could ask her," Ryan said.

"She might be pissed off at you for a long time. Just for suggesting it."

"Oh yeah, no kidding. And she's a wet cat when she gets mad."

"So let's just do the truck."

"I guess I'm the one that should ask her," Ryan said.

"If that's what you want to do, then we should both ask her, together."

"I guess that's what we should do."

Gary asked, "What about you? Are you all right with this? Because, let me tell you, I am going to get my money's worth. I'll have her all night and I don't think we will be getting a lot of sleep."

Ryan felt his member stir. The thought was actually a little arousing. Sex with Betty had not really been what it used to be for, what, the last five years. He ran through the scenario in his mind. What if she liked it a lot? What if she preferred Gary over him? Ryan knew he should pay more attention to her anyway. She loved him and he was confident she would not leave him even if Gary turned out to be God's gift to women. Which Ryan did not think was likely. Gary was a kind of shy fellow who never played around much back when he was single, he was probably no threat in the bedroom. It wouldn't hurt to let him have a little fun after six months of going without. And who knows, Betty might find it a little fun giving him a treat, introducing him back to the world of the living.

Ryan said, "There's no way in the fucking world she will say yes to this. Let's go talk to her and then I'll get the title to the truck."

Loved it, well written and although a little long kept me interested the whole time.

Well done.

Fag Cuck Shit; but thanks for the effort.

Interesting plot line.

Is there a statistician out there who can tell me the combined probability of 6 couples not having a single child between them living at home, 5 women in the 1960s all being on the pill and of five women one of them at least not being in menstruation on a Friday night every week?

What was the 1960s average weekly wage? Would $500 have got you a hooker for a week?

To add to the statistical question what is the chance of 3 out of 6 men all being noticeably bigger than average?