by mysterygirl702
But you should queue for yourself not other I would like to see more and where it's going
You've done well setting everything up. Just try and remember not everyone will read and enjoy this type of story write for yourself and nobody else and you'll be suprised at how positive your responses will be.
good start and a great framework established...part 2 soon please
I look forward to seeing what happens next soon. Thanks for sharing your talent with us.
Yes i'm looking to c what happens in the next game or when Ashley goes back to school & stops by to say hi to Dan the history teacher .
The other half of the category does not seem to fit at all.
Not to sure about the taboo part as of yet, but I am very excited to see where this story leads, history buffs unite!!
Nice job of pitting characters against each other and good description. I'm looking forward to reading the incest/taboo part if this.
RS
Very well written, I enjoyed the character build so far. Please write more.
I would have loved the story if you had continued it. The fact that it is left unfinished leaves me wanting more. 4 years later and nothing added.
missing a few pages here? How does this fit under this topic? All this says is that dad has perverts for friends, and one, who has the hoTs for her, feels guilty about it, and she watched him leave the house, after the game....? Even if he ended up in a relationship with her, it still wouldn't fall in this topic, unless dad was involved in it too.
No need to be concerned with the content or your style of writing. There are much, much worse writers here. One I'm sure has several accounts under different names so she can favorite story, favorite author, and comment.. But from the longdrawnout pen names to her constantly writing only about 1/4 story content. The rest is a review of what is on the previous 3 pages. Not just the last page, every page goes back to the first. "In the way" that she likes to use the term "in the way" in the way nearly every run on paragraph with two thirty five word sentences just seem inanely strung together. Pretty easy to tell who the author is, despite her weak attempts to hide her identity
With only what you've written so far, you're heads and shoulders above her !!!!:)