All Comments on 'Powerball Ch. 02'

Wow, how can you write such wonderful stories? I am an old guy but a very romantic person. I very much appreciate your work. Keep going, I want to read more of your stories. Because I am from Germany and English is not my native language minor errors in you stories do not matter to me.

Your great fan

Juergen

I loved your story. I too am a middle aged guy and was touched with your story. Just watch the typo's or mispelled words.

I enjoyed this story beyond words. You wove a poignant and yet erotic story. Please keep writing, and thanks for your efforts.

I love romantic happy ending and this story had it all. I certainly look forward to more of them.....

What's the problem with a long engagement? Or, for that matter a fair and balanced "pre-nup"?

Nice to find a story with a "happy" ending. Appreciate it! Good Job!

You hit one out of the park, You scored the winning shot with this one. It will be a classic on Lit. Congratulations.

you had me so i could not stop reading this story, a big thankyou

Not bad. The perspective changes in the second chapter were tedious to me. It would have been nice if their was some more outside drama from his ex-wife and/or her ex-boyfriend to help push them closer together. Beth seemed to go from scared and abused woman to hot in the pants vamp a bit too fast for me considering the initial character development. Its still nice to read a happier story like this though.

He has all that money and never once does he insist that The woman or the very least her daughter is taken to a doctor for a complete and thorough check up. First he finds them on the street, suspects they have been abused and later has it confirmed....no doctors. She even says she suspected her ex-boyfriend was a drug user/dealer. He still doesn't get them checked. If I have millions of dollars from the lottery I'm not sticking my penis in any woman that doesn't have a current clean blood tests for communicable diseases. Even after that I'd still wear a rubber, just in case.

One of the best stories I have read on this site. I too love romantic stories with happy endings. Would have prefered a boy, that could set up the basis for a new story.

The only criticism, beyond the typos which don't bother me, is your use of "your" when you ment "your'e".

KEEP WRITING

THis was an absolutely adorable-touching-entertaining wonderful story!! I can't begin to give you the accolades you deserve for it,Thanks so much-I can't tell you how much I enjoyed it. I Love my wife as does Mike in the story,so I can relate to the feelings you express so vividly

WELL DONE !!!,

Thanks,

Sam

you wrote a superb story. so touching and very real. congratulations. :)

Just outstanding!

It is one of the best on this site!

I was captivated by this story. It was emotional fun!

I have read all your stories you have posted to date. Your writing and your story telling are way above par. They are some of the best I have read.

I look forward to more.

Count me in as a fan!

Thanks for writing!

ok, i just had to comment on the guy who said the only typo that really bothers him is when you confuse "your" with "your'e". don't know if it was on purpose, but it sure made me laugh. as for the story? seriously - WOW. hope you post more.

A nice and wonderful story to read. For a moment I was afraid you were going to introduce the jealousy dynamic, I was most pleased that you didn't and keep it very light and warm-hearted. Nice job!

A great read. One of the best.

Thanks for a great read.

Loved it but, There was to much sex in it for me. I did give five stars.

Thank You!

Great read! Can' t wait to read more from you.

Web_Spinner you are one of my favorite authors here. I love all of your stories and this one was no exception. I thought the amount of sex was just right. I did want to see the look on Jenny's face when she realized what she missed out on and see if she would crawl back. But thank you for sharing. Keep writing more please!

Wont go into any details. Wife died couple of years ago for about the last 15 years or so we were roomates and at times hostile roommates.

I have looked around, it seems like them I lookin for aint looking for me and them that are lookin for me I aint lookin for

Thanks now I really know even in fantasy land what i don't have

great story will read again and again

It was a very good read.

Thank you for writing

FIVE is what I say,,,,,plus ten!!!!!

Even the slow parts were engaging. The rest simply sizzled. Great job!

Nuff said.... 5*

This was an excellent story, but I am curious and I see no statement saying other wise but is this a fiction or non-fiction???

but it sure as hell makes it easier to fake it. TK U MLJ LV NV

I'm glad you ditched the exes. This story was very powerful by concentrating on the present and future for the characters.

To play up the exes or seek revenge would need to place this Loving Wives section.

I like that section as well but we don't expect that crap in this genre.

Thanks this is one of my favorites.

Great writing and very enjoyable. Glad Jenny disappeared and you focused on the two people rebuilding their lives.

One of the greatest I have read. Thank you for that.

good read, all the elements, great ending - i am a fool for happy endings. the one thing i dont believe is the x-wife not filing suit. but hey it is fiction and you get a little license with it.

I absolutely adored this story, it was just beautiful. I actually was hopping that no good slut Jenny dared to crawl her gutter trash ass to him or Beth & mike running into her ... Oh the look on her face would've been priceless ... This story is like I always say" sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince" Jenny actually did mike a huge favor by being such a cheap fucking slut, she released him so he'd be free to find Real love... This was a very sweet story I enjoyed it thoroughly 😍 keep up the fantastic work...

You do this well- you take a real life possible and make a very good story out of it - the lottery does work that way - people do lose their faith in people - people do find it again - children work magic in our lives - you got it covered nicely -

Thanks again

Drug??? So she weas into drugs was she?? She was drug up the stairs?

Correct spelling please, the word is dragged.

Other than that a good story.

Grumpy

Really good love story, well developed characters and plot.

Major gripe is spelling

Your - Your hair is nice

You're - (You are) You're looking lovely tonight - contraction

There - go over there - location

Their - Got their hair done - possessive

They're - (they are) They're going to the hairdressers - contraction

Randomly mixed up the usage of these. With the two contractions try saying the un-contracted version and see if it flows.

Assorted other wrong words that emphasize the need for an editor.

onlee gits yew 5 starz

I loved it. It was a really good story, of course there were some grammer problems but the story was awesome so it didn't bother me. I loved it so much I rated it a 5.

very pleasing

99 stars ******************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

close enuff

chapt 1 comment; says it!

5 stars not enuff for this and other WEB SPINNER tales/stories

good for me

I really enjoyed this story and the other chapter also. Please keep writing more of these. Keep up the good work.

*** 5 Stars ***

Often times I can't understand how so many other hot stories can receive such a high vote - a rating of 4.50 means, that at least every second voter has to give five stars, after all. Powerball is one of those few "perfect" stories, where I don't feel even a little bit guilty for voting a full 5/5 stars. Thanks for sharing!

I rarerly comment, and usually don't read the longer stories, but two thumbs up from me. Beautiful tale.

Not bad but would be a lot better if you had an editor!!!

I admit it, this tale made this crusty old logger cry like a baby, when he asked Beth to marry him and everyone was crying. Even me! I love to love a great love story. But....

"I found the ring I wanted to give her. It wasn't gaudy or ostentatious but the diamonds were still large enough to show her I loved her."

Man, don't say it like that. Almost 40 years ago when I had barely turned 19, I married my bride who was 18. I worked for minimum wage and I took every nickel I had, $100, and took my wife-to-be to our local jeweler. She knew what my budget was and she found what I still to this day consider to be the most beautiful ring I've ever seen, for $98. I am as proud of that ring today as I was in back in the '70's. It was what it represented to us, not that it was enough to 'show I loved her'.

Unlike Mike and Beth, my beloved and I started out in an 18" camp trailer, driving a 4 door dodge car that in the right light you could still read 'US Army' on the side. It cost me $75 and we used it to even go deer hunting in and on fishing trips. It wasn't what we HAD, it's what WE had. Now all these years later, we live in a tiny little cabin in the middle of nowhere on a lot of property and everything is paid for, free and clear. Two kids who are successful in their own fields today. Plus, we have 5 grandchildren.

All because of that little $98 ring.....

one of only a dozen, maybe couple more, story talers on this site worthy of reading.

5 stars to ur talents. *************

My buddies and I loved to go fishing with our wives. Until my wife Alberta pointed out to the other women that none of them were getting in much time for fishing.

Instead, they were expected to clean the fish we men caught, fix the meals, while taking care of the camp and boats.

Uhh, well, yeah! So whats the problem?

After that the women went off to fish separately and made us clean our own damn fish.

Thank you for writing this beautiful story. I'm not one to cry, regardless of how I write; but I simply must tell you that this tale is a true work of art that brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion as I was reading it.. Again, thank you, and keep up the great work, wherever you write...

M.P.

I would have liked to see jenny try to interfere in beth and mike's lives once, but great story as all ways.

One of my favorite romance stories here. Absolutely loved it. If there was one thing I would want to be different, though, it would definitely be much of the dialogue between Beth and Mike the last few pages. Starting with the proclamations of love and going on until the end, some of it is just so cheesy it's cringeworthy. Especially the proposal.

But seriously - the rest of the story was just so awesome that the cheesy parts only draw the story down from a perfect 10 to like a 9.9 or something. Still an easy 5/5.

Also - just have to say my favorite parts were the Lisa and Mike interactions, especially post-daddy :). By the way - just thought of this now, but did you forget about the dogs there in the end? Didn't hear from them at all for a long while before the end it seems...

One of the better romance stories on the site. I enjoy a story where the good win and the bad lose. They don't always have to be burned, just lose. The good people in this story really win. They find a true Love with each other and the little girl. Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.

....for a VERY pleasant read !

Wow. Loved it, loved it, loved it. What a beautiful story. It would have to be one of my all time favourite stories. Thank you . 5 stars plus

Nicely done. Not to throw a monkey wrench in your plans but I think Jenny got an attorney who had no problem showing that they were married when he won the Power Ball and she got a big chunk of it. After all she was a gold digger and a slimy lawyer would have seen an easy payday. Probably would have done the work for free, knowing he was going to get a big payday for himself. Otherwise - good story.

The story was good. The happy ending as it should be. The only thing about this story (unlesss, I somehow missed it) is the fact that for a person so close to his sister and her family there is not mention at all of him giving his sister some of the

Over 200 millions winnings. This is inconceivable.

Since the ticket was bought before she signed the divorce papers she didnt have any rights to the money she gave it all up not even knowing. If she said she didnt know they say ignorance is no excuse

a good story. l would have loved to read how Michael used his horticultural skills to develop the 50 acres he owned.

The flaws are minor and easily overlooked because the characters were engaging and the story ended on a truly happy note.

The EX wasn't a significant part of the story and no mention was made of cheating (though I'd be shocked if she hadn't under the circumstances), so the passing fact that she ended up not getting any of the lottery money was enough justice even if I might have like to see more.

I'd like to have seen Mike act a bit a more gun shy and have Beth work a little harder to convince him he could trust her.

Lastly, quite a few spots where it would have made more sense to see a question mark instead of a period.

I like this story,

Thank you for this sory. I was so touched by it. Please keep on writing you are so talented

This one was awesome man. It really touched deep inside and that's what a romantic story should do. Hats off!

There was a nice - even though predictable - romance hidden in there. Unfortunately, as opposed to the first chapter, badly overshadowed by the crude und quite unnecessary porn.

This should have been in "Erotic couplings", so not to mislead the reader.

for three nice people. they overcame their baggage and became a family. And I believe it would/could have had the same outcome if he had not won Powerball and stayed on to run and grow his landscaping business.

Pleasant, trivial but very predictable from a considerable distance.

I thought it was overated by the readership.

DeKre hit it on the head. The excessive sex in Chapter two was unnecessary and destroyed the entire story as a romance and turned it into an erotic couplings tale.

you turned a wonderful romance into just a sex novel. I still gave it a 4* because of the 1st chapter and the heart of the 2nd. without that if I voted at all it would have been a 1 or at best a 2.

Ed Grocott

edgrocott@gmail.com

The sex in the second part was exagerated,getting a hard on seeing a pair of legs and every time he sees them makes me wonder what michael would get going to the beach

I agree with other commitments there was a lot of unnecessary sex and hard on's in chapter 2.

Though still a very good read and chapter one was the best of the 2.

I would have like to have known more about the Ex wife. In light of the recession it would be fair justice that her new husband lost his job, they had to sell their home, down siz, move to not good part of town, trade in the expensive Mercedes / BMW for cheap Ford, then Ex wife conracts husband trying to get back with him.

Just a thought, .....

I would have liked to see another conflict arise, say, like the return of Jenny, or the emergence of a drug dealer named Tony who kidnaps women and holds them in his house against their will or something.

Just kidding on that last part. I'm glad there were no stakeouts or missions since the MC is an ex marine retired with every commemoration and medals and blah blah blah. Too many of those stories out there.

Anyways, I do have to agree that the sex was unnecessary in Ch2 and a bit over the top in regards to frequency. And yes, a hard on just by looking at a woman's legs would be very uncomfortable to deal with.

Without Ch1, this is about a 3.5 rating in my opinion because of the excessive sex and relatively flat plot. Ch1 saved it. All in all, loved the series.

One question: did Beth find out that Michael won the Powerball? I know that she knows that he has a lot of money, but that's all I could draw from the story.

I have read quite a few of your stories and I find them very good I just wont to keep reading. Keep it up, good reads.

Top story! Part 1&2 perfect ending oh! What happened to the dogs? I love romance stories and there is that . One question? Is it legal to keep the money from his cheating wife? After all he won the money when he was married to the cheating bitch.

Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE.

All the uncertainty, self doubt, and temerity regarding their feelings and their evolving romance read like two teenagers in high school. Just seemed a bit amateur and unlikely. Dragging out their hesitancy and uncertainty, then having Beth suddenly become his eager cock sucker didn't make sense. You would expect there to be some communication, talking, about their mutual feelings and if they both were comfortable with seeing where their relationship might lead. So the transition from timid acquaintances to torrid fuck buddies was too fast and improbable.

Still, a good tale of love and romance. Thank you.

brings either sunshine or rain, TK U MLJ LV NV

I found the story delightful, but the spelling and grammatical errors highly distracting. Someone please tell me why the writers on this site are so reluctant to use an editor!

The premise was good, way too much sudoku and jacking off. If you really have that much money, basic horticulture knowledge, land, and free time; cultivate a garden. Farmer markets and food co-ops are very popular in area, be part of your community, interact and give back: ie. farmer's market and left over produce donate it to the local pantry. Hell even get some chickens and other livestock permitted you can maybe even get an ag tax exemption. Do some day trading something, if I had that kinda cheese I wouldn't sit around twiddling my thumbs playing fucking sudoku. Hell I would've preferred the main character to travel even blow some cash on some high end call girls, and I've never considering sleeping with one.

This was an ok story but poor spelling and the common misuse of 'two, too, to' and 'there, their and they're' among others was distracting for me as well and kept me from giving higher marks.

Really enjoyed the story. Yes there were some written errors but I forgave each one as you writing with passion and a goal. Goal achieved. Loved it. BK

those that choose to make comments won't give their names . I was brought if you couldn't say anything good don't say anything . love the build up . I had a former wife that like Mikes took about 3 yrs to get where I could trust 1 again we were married for 27 + yrs before she passed away and if I could go back would do it all over again great story

But in the last chapter it went overboard a bit on sex, just to be writing about sex.

My issue is with the nazi who wants to know too much! Why do you need to know anything other than I liked the story and how many stars or I thought your story sucked and why. You want to pat me on the ass and kiss it too. Fuck off with the name calling. (DUMBASS)

knight in shining armor story and the Texas hill country is a great setting for such a story. I think any good man loves the feeling of rescuing a damsel in distress. I think it appeals to the best in us feminists be damned.

I looked at your profile. Your profile just states " no answer". How does that differentiate you from the rest of us anonymous. You are just as anonymous as the rest of us, idiot!

By the way this was a well written story.

Your nothing but a bunch of spoilt kids who can't get their own way! Peoples enjoy or hate the story it's your choice? Personally I liked it! I don't give a cracker what others think or say! Thanks for sharing this Fantastic Story with us! ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ WOOF!

Thank you for sharing, really appreciate your effort, and hard work. As a reader, you gave exactly what I wanted, sadly I am only allowed to give you five stars, and not the ten or more I feel the story really deserves.

NorthPacific

I finally had to give up about halfway through this chapter. Mike goes from a guy with serious(and understandable) trust issues with women, to a guy whose only concern is that the girl he likes doesn't like him back. And it all happens simply by getting a look at her in a bathing suit. Seriously? Two years of feeling like he could never love another woman because he could never trust her, but one look at a pair of nice legs and he's forgetting all that.

Meanwhile, Beth goes from a woman with even more serious(and more understandable) trust issues with men, to a woman who uses the excuse of playing a board game with her daughter as an opportunity to show off her body. Yeah, sure, the woman who was fearing that her daughter might get beaten by this man for spilling milk is now flashing her underwear at the same guy while her daughter is sitting right there. Yeah, that makes sense.

I mean, it might have been a bit easier to accept if these two characters ever told each other anything about themselves. If they had ever shared a moment that wasn't described as being quiet and awkward. Hell, by the point of the story I had gotten to the only facts they knew about each other had been because Mel relayed them.

This could have been an interesting story if it had actually examined the issues these characters had when we were first introduced to them. Instead that was just abandoned for the sake of a really generic love story.

really liked this storie

I will admit there are some aspects that could be improved but OVERALL is was a good heartfelt story. Moving and well done. There are going to be critics but really, this is great story and one that everyone can take something from.

All of your writing has been very good. Wish you had more. Thank you

loved it well written and found it to be an enjoyable experience

great job and keep them comming

but waaaay too cheesy

2nd read. Really gives me a positive outlook on a regularly dark life. Thank you. 10

Loved Chapter 1, and was loving Chapter 2 - for a while. Two or three pages could have been eliminated regarding the two misunderstanding one another. Then when they finally get together, you turned Michael from a kind, compassionate man into a macho porn star, dialogue included. You turned a love story into a fuck story. I stopped reading at the hot tub scene.

Some want more, some want what sounds like a whole section of story added. This story is just fine, a good story which I like.

You covered all bases, great back story on him and what kind of person he is. Elisabeth's back Story to include Lisa.

The story is fine to me but, I’m not a writer or editor. Your story satisfied me.

It’s its own best commendation that readers have felt compelled to comment on this story for ten years. It is a great theme, good if predictable plot, (and by that standard, so was Romeo and Juliet,) with somewhat unique characters.

Michael is believable if uncommon. He is a Marine and a self-made man in terms of his landscaping business. He was loyal to Jenny until she wasn’t loyal to him. He was going home to share the news of their wealth when he discovered her leaving. It did not, so far as Web_Spinner told us, ever occur to him to hide the wealth, as the Aussie did in another Lottery Winner story on this site. Marines who are extreme in their adherence to their own rules for life are not even hard to find in real life. He is also a man. There are lots of hints given, icons Web_Spinner ticks off, that Michael is a man’s man, and an accomplished man. He’s capable of being perhaps naive and of being heartbroken when young, volunteers for the Marines, works his way through school at a physically demanding business, which he has the maturity and balls to grow way beyond a kid’s afterschool job into a legitimate business. He marry’s Jenny — not all do or did automatically marry in the timeframe implied. He drives a pick-up truck, even when he has unlimited options, doesn’t hesitate to expose himself to danger — twice — in defense of his view of “right”, he does “guy stuff” with George, and in his own narrative voice, considers himself a “typical clueless man.” The author is trying to establish that Michael’s polite demeanor toward Beth is a matter of self-disciplined character, not because he’s less than a hundred percent aware of her attractions as a woman. His obedience to his worldview in different situations is the source of tension in the whole story.

It’s strongly implied that Beth is considerably younger than Michael. Beth’s age could be as young as early twenties within the plot framework. So, Michael has a twenty-something woman who he finds attractive running around his house in various costumes. Might explain his reactions as might the fact that by the time Beth comes into the story, he has been celibate for, what,... a year and a half minimum,...a decision of the mind and will, not the body.

Beth’s character is not required to be super mature and consistent. For on, she’s young. The background given hints at plenty of impulsive decisions, one after another. She agreed to have sex without protection with her first “sweetheart” very young, knowing that her own existence and impoverished life with her mom testified against that life strategy. The second man was worse than the first, but only in retrospect from Beth’s point of view. He must have seemed like a Godsend when they first met — a knight in rented or tarnished armor. Her mom died young, before she had time to teach Beth more about being an adult, if she would have been inclined to. Mom, after eighteen years of raising her “mistake” may have been content to have Beth out and on her own. (“You made your be, no go lie in it.”) And yet, Beth is protective of her daughter, to the degree she had the means to be. In the author’s strategy, Beth typifies a certain feminine stereotype of a combination of good character with impulsiveness that puts her in perilous circumstances, but not by her own doing except through impulsive, perhaps naive decisions. It is the chef’s recipe for a damsel in distress. One of the first Novels ever written was this storyline.

Web_Spinner is in good company.

And like many, many, many good authors, Web_Spinner is a terrible self-editor. That plot is older than the love story. So what. Get a technical editor, and OCD English Major, and problem solved. Or become a fan of Ezra Pound.

I read all 95 comments, to date, appended to this story and did not see what I found to be the more troubling problem. Web_Spinner wrote a better plot than he knew.

At the end of the story, he says that Michael and Beth’s finally coming together was after only six weeks and that the married after only two months. This bothered many commenters as it came off as two very wary, rigid people acting out of character too quickly. But, other than those two references, Web_Spinner himself describes a months long romance. Numerous descriptions are given that begin on a Sunday and then it’s the end of the week, or “The next two weeks passed...”, or, “later that week,” and references to several cycles of George and Lynn’s monthly romantic weekends. In, short, while I did not and will not reread and count them, Web_Spinner himself said this was a long slow process. I can only guess as to why he contradicts himself. Perhaps, as often happens, this was put aside for a while. Perhaps it began as one story and grew to another. The longer time line greatly improves the believability of the plot and reinforces the natures of the characters.

I won’t comment on the problems with the legal issues except to say there are many.

Those editing issues do rest squarely on the author, if this was to be published. On this site, I assume most of us are writing for enjoyment, not perfection. If the comments are useful to the future edits of the story, then great. Otherwise, it was fun. Thanks for your time and the courage to finally hit “send” and offer up a sample of your talent.

I really enjoyed the first chapter (5*), but the focus on extremely abundant and rather graphic sex in the second half really detracted from the romance. 4* for Part 2.

Thank you for your time and effort i love your stories

Enjoyed it completely and all the way through. 5 stars

Truly loved both chapters of this story. Some things didn't add up. On one hand, the nieces would spend the weekend with their uncle to give the parents some alone time. This happened a few times, but Michael's reflection of the time from the underpass to his full blown love was much shorter. Did this and other errors detract from the story? NOT. This reader felt all the emotion the characters felt and shed a tear along with the them. It doesn't get much better than that! 5 STARS for both chapters. CC