All Comments on 'Private Property: No Trespassing'

this is kind of old school. That is a recommendation, not a criticism. I like that about it.

Reads like a Harlequin novel. Beautifully done, and the images are quite vivid. You captured it all, even my attention.

Somehow something does not readily add up. She owns the property and seems to be dressed accordingly, WITHOUT a stitch on. He has come across the spring and is skinnydipping in it. Then as the story develops he is removing her shorts, bra, T-shirt and begins fucking her. I have a bit of a problem in understanding why she is not naked in the first place, and mating with him to produce a baby from complete nudeness to begin with?

Exquisite debut, McKenna. Delicious story, deliciously told.

Almost passed this over, it being in the category it is.

I'm glad I didn't. That was very hot.

Well done.

that was fantastic, well written, it flowed beautifully, the climax building gradually into a terrific explosion, well done look forward to reading more of ur work

Wow!

McKenna has taken some familiar metaphors and clichés–biblcal to romance novel–and woven them into a believable, erotic tale. Great work. This is art.

Beautifully done.... Reminds me a lot of my favorite story "Blindmans Bluff" A story that writes itself from a deep inner place.... Once again beautifully done...

I can't imagine anyone 1 bombing this McKenna!! It was absolutely wonderful! You have me sitting here daydreaming about a perfect man and wondering where the hell is he???

~Honey

It's hard to believe you're only an amateur. Excellent writng, better than a lot of published work I've seen. Keep at it, I look forward to reading more of you in the future.

I'm not going to nag you to submit this for the anthology. I'm not. Honest. (Pretty please?) Kisses, ~Imp

McKenna, I very much like the simplicity. Two characters who are quickly developed. Each being iconic of their gender. Nice work! You got a LOT in a short story...and THAT's quite a skill!

Oh I got wet reading your story, what a dream for me to have to meet a man like that. To feel his cock wow what a joy that would be Very good, I am wet. CCBABY

I can't outdo any of the previous commentors, so I won't even try. This is a masterful work of eroticism! If it came solely from your imagination, what a hot, artistic and exciting place that must be. Let's see more! Good luck.

Beautiful writing! I love it!

This is one of the best short stories I've read in many, many years. The author reaches out and pulls you into the characters, deftly switching from female to male gender so smoothly you're hardly aware of it and yet giving you the raw feel of both characters written about.

Bravo McKenna...as the mists swirl around you the magic of your words grace us all.

I am an avid reader of these Lit contests and by far this has been the best. I could almost feel the sharp little digs of the forest floor debris and the slight mist in the air from the waterfall.

You made My insides ache, from the apex of My thighs to My heart in agony over missing the man I knew who had a cock like that and was also so very generous.

A gorgeous story McKenna. Keep writing!

Catie

A truly perfect story! All others pale in comparison. I look forward to reading more of your work. Excellent job!

No one can create that almost mystical feeling of connection with nature better than McKenna. The rest of the story weren't bad either. :) Great work, gal.

Rumple

I loved your story, girl. Very nice work. I especially liked the way you worked in reality with small details. Like her moving from his forceful thrusts. Hmmm.

Good luck.

Black Tulip

I was there. I was that thrusting man and I could see and feel that woman wanting me harder and faster in her. It took me back to trespassing on a rich man's land by a lake in the USA with a group of female canoeists. Now there is another story to be told...Well done. You deserve to win.

Wow. you are amazing! i love how you played up to the sex, most others' stories are just about the sex. i love this story. awesome job and congrats on first place, you deserve it. this is the first feedback i've given, i had to because this story is so good. thanks for the awesome story!

Awesome job. Makes me want to escape into the woods myself-but only if you promise to send along your studly hero! Well done. More please. :)

I have to agree with many of the other viewers -- this story was expertly written with the right detail.. Some stories don't introduce the characters well or lead up to the sex with suspense, but I became enthralled in the suspense of lovemaking in this story as if it was the 'Neverending Story' --- Great job! I wish I could find that man in the woods...

This is the best story i have ever read. i completely agree with the rest of the others commentators. your story is resally the best. it makes you feel as if your right there in the story.

WOW!! Grabbed me from the very beginning and never let go! More, please MORE!! Beautiful writing, thank you for that. Can't wait to read more from you.

You have so many complimentory comments that all I can do is to echo them, and say Thank You for writing it. Ronnie W.

Is that the highest rating I can give it? Can I multiply it by 2, maybe 3? Outstanding story, well planned, excellently told. Great work!

Such a great tale and told to perfection.

Never before have I read a story told with such panache that the words and imagery alone had the power to push me over the edge. You have an extraordinary gift - thank you for sharing it.

This story was so well written, and so fabulous, I was compelled to write a comment (my first comment on this site, ever). Please continue writing, (on here, and professionally) you do a fabulous job capturing the readers interest! VERY sensual, very good story!

That was one of the best erotic stories I have ever read. Great job on the "Primal" instincts. Good ideas. You should definetly write more, and maybe publish as books!

That was SO amazing! Wow!

I almost stopped when I saw the category, but I continued thank God! That was so good, you really are a very tallented writer. Thank you for sharing.

Angie

That was great I wish I was Emma being able to play in the sun is the best on earth and with a man like that what can I say. The story just seemed so true, I hope it was for you or some you know

A wonderful story filled with passion, expressed delicately.

Though this is not my usual category of choice, your story was expertly constructed and perhaps the most exciting I've ever read. I'll be watching for more of your work.

Thank you!

Easily the best story I've read on here in 5 years!

Fantastic story, well crafted and a very good plot

...since I read something of yours. It's been an equally long time since I was able to be a bystander to the action. Thank you for such an up close and personal glimpse into this exchange. I'm not quite certain I didn't get a little poison oak, I was so there. Well written, m'dear.

~lucky

I thought the first story I read was good...but this one is fantastic....great story line...well written...

Richly detailed setting, fully rounded characters, and incendiary sex.

Brava!

Thank you for writing that - it was absolutely extraordinary! I felt as if time stood still whilst I read this story... utterly incredible. I see that you haven't written any sequels to any of your stories, but I have to say, this one cries out for one... Any chance of coming back, years later, and writing something more for us?

This is awesome. getting back to the basics of the animalistic emotion. ..... i loved it. Please write more.

have to agree with all the commentators (except the whinger) ...this was an awesome story...disappointingly short but the impact was as a novel...you sure have a knack for conveying powerful emotions and vivid imagery with just a few words and your writing is such that i can infer a lot of the story (well, according to my perspective and imagination as limited as they are) from just a short glimpse...i wonder how it is to read a lengthier story from you...are you published? pls tell me if you are...email me at paradise_jm@hotmail.com...i definitely will scour the bookstores for your stories

A great story, detailing every bit of the tantalising exchange.

Great details and emotion.

This story is simply incredible I only wish it was longer!!

Really enjoyed the story. Very well written. Liked the way you moved back and forth between the characters what they were feeling and thinking...

Great story - give us the next installment.

The grammar, spelling, and content were right on! Your descriptive prose gave me a visual that ran through my mind as if I were watching a movie. Kept me interested and aroused from start to finish. RobT

Wow! I wish this was longer or that part 2 was on its way but I can see no recent updates. *Sigh!*

You had me captured.....I felt I was the man driving his huge tool into this hot, wonderful woman. Even the smells of sex were there.

I could feel him in me

This has got to be the best story I have read on Literotica. I could not help but become the animal that was James. It was beautifully, and thoughtfully written. You are now my favorite author.

A beautiful, sensual and arousing story, the likes of which I have rarely seen on this site. You are a real writer, with a gift for realistic portrayal of love and lust, that is amazing. Please write more stories that are filled with emotion, and capture the feelings of the characters. Consider following up on these characters, using the secret spring, their nude bodies exploring the natural beauty of the setting. Thank you for sharing your amazing work. trurobeachcomber@yahoo.com

You sure have a writing talent in this story!!! I LOVED it and I am going to save it for future "playing" on my part! The descriptive words of James' surroundings and the way he CAPTURED her and made her HIS!!! I would LOVE to be taken in the place that you described and the WAY that you described!!!! Please, pen/write more stories such as this one!!! You get 1,000,000,000 GOLD STARS for this penning!!!

This is one of the best. I am very jealous of your writing skills.My work pales in comparison.

Thank you!

I can write well (I've been told) but choose instead to read and TRY to enjoy written stories. Yours is eloquent, mind setting from two viewpoints, and was a very enjoyable read. Thank you.

Only a fool would try to fix what is not broken. Even the last part of the last sentence was almost too much. A period after "soul" would have been better. This is a perfect story, perfectly edited, perfect characters and a perfect scene. Please don't mess with a perfect score. Many thanks for a task well done.

Your words painted a wonderful picture in my mind. I enjoyed it very much

Great story. Thank ou.

A fre more lines of dialogue could enhance your wonderfulstory.

For example. Emma could have said "please take me" when James had his cock near her labia lips.

Waiting for an invitation the first time can be better and more appropriate way.

James could have also murmured "thank you" when he ejaculated into Emma and then smilingly added "better to make love. not war"

On the other hand, I have many times initiated lovemaking at 5:30 AM without a whispered request rr a spoken invitation.

That involves just silently putting kisses on her clit, then licking her labia lips followed by my cock playing with her pussy lips and then plunging in. That oral request is better, in my perspective, than a spoken request.

Also, a loving fuck at dawn satisfying for both her and me AND a great way start the day!

Great story. Where can I get my own hot spring to entice a man like that? ;-)

are we allowed to say perfect im sure there is a flaw somere but i was to busy reading all the stories to notice

Love the story. No more trespassing, he'll stay.

A god and goddess make love. I prefer normal people.

Perfect. I loved everything about it.