All Comments on 'Pro'

but there was not an ounce of romance in this entire story. What a shame as this could have really been a great story....

what was monique's mother's name Carol or Cybil??.Confusion, but overall good story not bad:-)

... the previous commenter is right -- you never really feel much romance here. It's a bit like reading a text book. The author tells the reader everything, instead of letting the reader find out *whatever* via the characters, and their interaction, etc. I have to say, too, that personally, I thought the mother's attitude was pretty unrealistic. I'm not saying people like that aren't out there, I just think they aren't the norm. But keep working, you've got the basis for something good here. -- wlt

Kind of read like a horny teenager wrote this. No real substance. Great topic but was just never developed.