All Comments on 'Protecting Marcus'

Great story

i love your stories please don't think about changing what you do just because some people think they should be in other catergories. if they are looking for quick thrill tell them to go watch the free video of the day.

your stories are well written an enjoyable to read. keep at it....

i look forward to your next story....

The best well written story I have read in a long time. I am not afraid to say it had me in tears by the time I finished reading it.

Great Story

And thanks for pointing out that you can be 'black' without having to use 'ebonics'. I suppose it's easier to sink to the bottom than try to rise to the top. But when you boast about how educated you are, and end the story with thanks for all the assistance you received in editing your submission, I have to chuckle when you "unbraided" the men to get them to leave the room. I think the word you were looking for is “upbraided”. It means to find fault with or reproach severely. “Unbraid” means to “undo one’s braids.” I suppose you could have just said “scolded”, too. Keep on writing, but if you’re going to use the “ten-dollar words” when a “one-dollar word” will do just fine, make sure you’ve got the spelling and context correct, or you’ll either coax a laugh from those who catch the mistake, or encourage more people to perpetuate your inaccuracy.

a sequel. You are to good of a writer not to make one. Maybe not with same characters but still a sequel none the less.

p.s.

You're good really good. Ever thought of publishing... just a thought...

sequel is needed for sure. that was awesome i like it

Love is about so much more than sex.

p.s. smack your spell checker - committee

Loved this story great job great read. Adding you to my favorites. Hope you write many more..

Sure, we've all read this exact same story a dozen times before here, and this was certainly one of the better variations on the theme, but regardless of the help you had with editing, things began going seriously awry in the language and spelling departments around page four, really spoiling a story that I was quite enjoying.

I did struggle through to the end, and "struggle" is the key word. You shouldn't post a story of such length unless it's 100% correct. Somebody else has pointed out the bizarre "comity", (committee), but there were so many more errors, (and not all spelling), that reading to the end became a real challenge. If there's one thing a writer should never do, it's annoy the reader, and there was just too much annoyance happening here to retain the pleasure promised in the earlier sections.

Please don't be offended by my comments - I genuinely hope you'll take them onboard and allow them to help you with your writing. Perhaps you'd even consider taking the story down, fixing it up and re-posting...?

What a great story,well written and attention holding. I am agreat reader but only wish I could write half as good as this. I am not a critic , only a happy reader of this great work. Thank You !

A captivating story. I really enjoyed reading it. I think you mixed up who was telling their story at a given moment, Trish or Beth, but it didn't take away from a very compelling story. Well done!

I absolutely loved this story. I cried on every page it is so filled with emotion. And such a happy ending it is just Fantastic!

As with all of your other stories that I have read, this was wonderful.

I like the alternating perspectives, though it might have been better had it been written that way from the outset rather than switching 'she's to 'I's, since some of the narrative, especially towards the end in the love-making scenes, was clearly originally written from a third person's perspective.

With all that said - and with the previous comments about those pesky spelling errors, which really didn't detract to any significant extent - this was still a beautifully told, passionate love story which is what I come here to read.

You continue to enthrall your readers, this one included

Having read the entire story, I am trying to figure out a few things. What was the point of having Trish denigrate other races just to describe her own? She comes off sounding like the elitist she accuses white Europeans of being. I'm also trying to understand why she listed 'ghetto gurl' with black and Afro American as if they were all terms of race. I get that people may see her dark skin and talk to her using slang, but by listing all three terms together as a group, essentially, you had Trish equate them, and they are clearly not equal terms. The same way Trish feels insulted when people equate her with ghetto gurls, it insults blacks to equate that with them.

It just seems like Trish started off with an axe to grind, and the funny thing is, it is an attitude that is not carried out throughout the story, so, what was the point of it?

This story is one of the best that I have ever read. I like how there was action and there was drama. I also liked reading from both Trish and Beth's point of view. Keep on writing.

The story is fantastic as a whole, though Trish comes off as a fairly unpleasant person, with a huge chip on her shoulder, especially at the beginning. Now, for the bad parts...a Social Worker, even a Phd can't kick a medical doctor out of a trauma theatre, even if she's in hospital administration. She has no real medical training and thus legally has no authority. The hospital Chief of Staff, Chief of Surgery or a managerial MD can do so, but not without cause. Your average CN has more medical training than a Social Worker. I know the opening sequence (after all the bitter ranting) was written to make Trish look good, but, it isn't in the least realistic. It damaged the story, so only 3*** for this effort.

amazing! One of the bests stories on the site and you should think about writing that story into a book. love it!!!

One of the best I've read. Thanks for putting it out here.

was having the worest possible week till iread that story .. it made me smile , laugh out loud and cry .. i was amazeing , beautiful and incrediable.. just beutiful .. well done ..

This is my third time reading. I love this story.

Not sure how many times I've read this story, mental note, don't start reading it at bed time, it's one you can't put down.

This is such a sweet story, Beth deserved to finally find someone that truly loved her. Suspense, love, sex, all the makings of a good story. :)

I loved your story, thank you very much for writing it <3

Emil got his nuts squashed. Laughed outrite at that one.

U are truly an amazing writer , that story had me waning more as I read it. Please write more. That deserves a higher rating than 5 .

this story is the most amazing love story i have ever read, im so glad beth and trish got married in the end, we need more stories such as this! i could read this again and again. well done you have done fantastically.

Thank you for writing it and sharing it. It was very powerful and full of love. I am glad you have other stories so that I can read them too!

Hi my hands I've been an avid reader of your stories I love them all

But this one I read and reread as it has great character development as well as being a poignient love story.

Keep writing

Glen

This still takes my breathe away when I read this . You are truly amazing ! Please write a continuation to this .

no matter how many times I read it it is still amaZing

This was beautiful. Well thought out and so sweet. I loved that you didn't just dive straight into the "good stuff" but rather led us there in due course. Keep writing...

I like that in the story you kept us hinting at the sex using the plot as a way to build it up.

This is a great story. I'm glad to see Beth overcome her past and found love again.

Thank you so much for sharing!

what a great love story again, love Beth and Trish! thanks for your work

A few minor quibbles:

As others have said, it is "committee", not "comity". There were some other usage things that I forgot to note down.

"No liquids; so don't let it melt" - OF COURSE it's going to melt, that's why they give it to you. Also, I'm not a grammar expert, but I think a comma would have worked as well as a semi-colon here.

Beth's sister Anne is expecting - "Marcus, do you want a niece or a nephew" - um, Beth's sister's children will be Marcus COUSIN, not niece or nephew.

The word spelled "comity" in this story is spelled correctly and is used correctly. Show off!!

omg i love this story but the tenth page is just a heart breaker i mean come on!

I have read most of your stories. This is one of my favorites. Some errors, but nothing distracting from the story.

Also, for those leaving comments about the use of the word comity... I urge you to use a dictionary before you tell someone it is an error.

This was one of the most amazing stories I have read. You did an amazing job.

From the author;

It is very seldom that I delete a comment, no matter how negative, from a poster. But, yours was extremely offensive to me, especially since you were ranting about a fictional character. I will not get into an argument of my character build up or reasons for why they feel the way they do. It's FICTION. Trish is NOT REAL! So, if you would like to amend your prior comment, in a more acceptable way, I will leave it up. But, a racist, or anti-racist rant, will get deleted as soon as I fine it posted on one of my stories.

Thank you for reading my story.

Myhands316

The reason that brought me to this story were the rants of an ignoramus. No matter the reason, I'm glad that person did, cause I read it and I loved it. Thou it is fictional, the sad truth is there are so many victims an abusers out there. While this story had a happy ending, so many don't. The characters and the content of the story was so real. The author did an excellent job pulling in the reader and having us care about these people and conversely. I also learned a new word, "comity" which means courtesy and for me that makes up for the few misspelled ones in the story. After all, that's the purpose of reading - to learn, to be entertained, to imagine, to be grateful that didn't happen to you or your loved one, or to put a little one to sleep. Thank you Myhands316. Reading Protecting Marcus did all that for me. Please stay encourage and keep writing.

I have read this story 2 times and I love it more each time. A wondful lovely story.

Wow, you totally nailed it with this story! I will be back for another read in a month or so. Thank you very much for sharing it with us!

Wonderful story.

Third story I`ve read of yours, and third one I`ve really enjoyed.

Your relaxed, slow burn style of writing is better than some of the "wham bam, thank you mam" stories around, not that some of those aren`t entertaining too lol.

The narrative was once again plausible and even possible, the characters believable and the child adorable.

Great work yet again,

Your editors didn’t do you any favors. Numerous misspelled words. And please, learn the difference among the words their, there & they’re.

Given the number of people that have had their stories taken from and sold by random cunts on Amazon, the typos are fine and an understandable theft deterrent.

Right out the gate with the internalized anti blackness and classism! Didn't even wait til half way through the first page to get that off your chest lol. I guess I should thank you for beginning with that so I wouldn't waste my time.

I can't believe you had editors help you with this garbage, when you have submitted this kind of thing: 'Without waiting, I started striping Beth'.

Did you paint her with stripes?

FFS.

Crap.

One of the worst I've seen on LE. Typos and grammar errors too plentiful for my liking.

I do agree with the comment about Trish’s internalized racism and classicism in the opening paragraph. However, once you get past it, you realize this is a great story. It was a good to see Beth heal and find love. And nice to see a strong, capable woman in Trish. I would recommend.

Writers have, by my account, the hardest job in the world. They spend untold hours just thinking. Not that thinking is hard; for a writer, the thinking is half the fun. But then comes the tedious part: getting in down in print. I started as a non-fiction technical writer and, in almost every case, I was already a expert on my given or chosen topic, so the thinking phase didn't even apply. I could just plough right into the actual writing. But, being an expert in the topic, the material was not greatly challenging, so I put my efforts into grammar and style, making them my challenge. And, to be honest, it turned me into a pedant, frequently choosing to critique the words and style of a piece instead of actually reading it. I hurt myself quite a bit by choosing that path; it kept me from seeing the real content.

Then I started writing fiction, and speculative fiction at that (sci-fi and fantasy). I had NO IDEA how hard that was going to be. But after twenty-three years it has taught me a great lesson: grammar and style are shit. They mean nothing. And in the hands of a GREAT writer, the misuse of words, grammar, and even style can produce some truly great pieces of art.

So, now? I don't see "mistakes" as mistakes. Frankly, I see them as a different kind of window into the writer. You can learn a lot from the mistakes people make. But more than anything else, it has given me access (here, on other sites, and even some books) to some truly great stories that I'd have been sad to miss out on over something so trivial.

And you know, at this point in time, having finished reading this story 2 minutes ago, I can't even remember any mistakes. What I do remember are great characters, events, relationships, emotions, and everything else that makes a "story" a story.

Be kind to your neighborhood writers. But more importantly, read hoping for a great story, you jut might find it.

Great style does not belong in fiction; it belongs in encyclopedias.

Key word erotica.

Characters that need therapy belong in another section.

I’ve just finished reading the story and loved it, I’ve also scanned the comments and found (as usual) conflicting views. Firstly it’s a good story, we empathise and are entertained by most of the characters and want them to be well and find happiness, but the natural flow of the stories has unnatural jolts with repetitive typos and mistakes. When some of us complain about typos etc that’s why, we’re deep in the world our Author has created in their own mind and put into words, when suddenly that seamless flow of perfect words jolts or stops momentarily, occasionally we have to try and figure out what the author meant, but we then have to regain that flow, only to have it frustratingly stop again. Typos, grammar issues, incorrect words (MS Spellcheck I’m looking at you!) and even bad punctuation interrupt our reading, ruining it sometimes, every now and then we give up on the story or vent our frustration by marking it down, Authors - please use use good Beta readers and fix the errors, some of us will love and reward you for it.

Regards and 5⭐️ Ppfzz.

Only major issues is you said she was a social worker which would mean she is not the boss of a dr there 2 separate entity and 2 you said she was an officer of the court social workers is not an officer of the court again 2 separate things other than that not that bad of a story but those issues are major issues as it goes against 1 of the main things that makes a good story that is character establishment

A really good Story!

Wish there was a part two!

Thank you