All Comments on 'Purchased but Not Owned Ch. 01'

I liked the first story, but this one is even better. Good job

Please continue!

But I thought the story was pretty awesome before, except for some spelling errors. One question: what kind of world are you creating where the buying and selling of human beings is legal?

Your original story was very good - but this has improved even on that. Very well done; please have five stars with my sincere thanks. It took courage to do what you have done.

I read the first version and have been waiting for more so I was super excited when I saw the title again. Looking forward to more!!

Good job! I can't figure out from this story or the original if this is legal slavery in an alternate society or a twisted consensual slavery. I think the legal modern slavery might be hotter.

How did she get to be there in the first place.

I loved it first time too, so was surprised to see it back.

Good call

for returning. I personally did not have any issues with you first verison. The sex at the end was spontaneous, all caused by the rain, and it's shivering wetness. I was ok with it though it would take on a different feeling depending on how you vocalized the characters the morning after. As for others questioning the world: The woman Amanda did state that if she (Jaycee) ever wanted out of the "lifestyle" to come looking for her. So I did not even consider that this was a slave society. It seemed like bitchy masters that did not want to deal with their most prized possessions any more. That they forgot about the gift of submission that was received. That they wanted a "newer" model. That these "relationships" were without any love connection and only a contractual. (If there was love it was fleeting, not willing to fight for the long haul when you are able to be "trade in" so easily.) And, or, possible trainers, it was time to move on.

Welcome back.

So happy you brought this back for us. There is quite an interesting story here, especially since Declan is not the typical cartoon master. Don't rush yourself or the story. Remember that 'why' is what drives most stories.

Carefully consider each word, noun, verb, adjective or adverb...does it set the tone you are looking for? Could it give off unintended tones to the reader? Case in point here-when exchanging names you have Declan smirking. He is working so hard to calm and reassure Jaycee, yet smirking most often has some degree of negative attached to it. Better, perhaps, 'the corner of his lip tugging up slightly.'

I look forward to future chapters.

Maybe more rescue drama than erotica... and should perhaps carry a trigger warning-- I don't usually suggest that in erotica, but this was a portrayal of PTSD as much as it was anything.

At any rate, it was lovely and I hope to see more from you!

Is chapter 2 coming any time soon?

Please continue. I'm on edge.