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About one in the morning Elaine left, giving me another peck on the cheek. I helped her into her coat. I watched her walk down the road and come back in her noisy car. She slammed the back door as she entered their house. I heard faint noises as she shouted at Terry. I went to bed and slept. I was ashamed that my dreams were of Elaine and particularly her hair brushing against my naked body.

I woke early to hear Elaine's voice raised in full cry. She was shouting at Terry who was hurriedly packing his car. Elaine was doing her fishwife impersonation to great effect. Net curtains were twitching up and down the street.

I shaved, showered, dressed and had breakfast. Later that morning Terry returned with a hire van and packed all his expensive toys. The home entertainment system, the computer and its accessories, the game console, the power tools he had never used, the gadgets he had spent their money on – all disappeared into the van. Soon after Terry drove off Elaine was knocking at my back door. I let her in.

Her eyes were puffy from crying. I opened my arms. She leant against my shoulder and cried again. I cuddled her until the crying stopped. As she sat beside me on the settee drinking a cup of coffee she began to recover.

The first words she said were "He's gone."

She started crying again. I took the empty cup from her and put it down. I gathered her in my arms and sat her on my knees. She curled up against my shoulder and hid her face against my neck. I held her there. It seemed like hours before she lifted her head and looked at me.

"You are too good to me, Andy," she said. "What do I do now?"

"What do you want to do?" I asked.

"Forget him and rebuild my life," She grimaced. "and my bank account. He's left me overdrawn beyond my limit. I had to pay for the hire van."

"Where has he gone?" I asked quietly.

"Back to his mum. She won't want him for long. She was glad to be rid of him. He was a luxury she couldn't afford. Neither could I. I don't care where he goes as long as he doesn't try to come back."

"Is that likely?"

"No. He knows that I have kicked him out. So do the neighbours. Did you hear me?"

I nodded.

"His pride won't let him return to the scene of that humiliation. I made sure he knew what I thought of him. I didn't untie him until shortly before he left in his car. He had soiled himself and I made him clean it up before I let him fully loose. I should have been more assertive long before now. I could have stopped him ruining my life. I didn't. I blame myself for what happened. I'll never let a man run my life again."

"Never is a long time," I said.

"Twice bitten, twice shy," she retorted. "I've learned my lesson. The next man had better watch out."

"Even me?"

"No, not you, Andy. You have never been anything except a friend."

I raised my eyebrow. Elaine blushed slightly.

"Perhaps a 'good friend'?" she suggested.

She could see I wasn't convinced. I remembered too much. She snuggled up closer to me.

"OK. I admit it," She sighed. "You were more than a good friend, years ago, long before you met Marjorie. If only..."

"If what?"

"If I'd seen you for who you are, and not wanted more excitement than I thought you could offer, then perhaps we might have lasted. The dangerous men attracted me. Whatever else you were, you were never dangerous. You were kind, considerate and too easy. You would do anything for me. I never had to fight you for what I wanted. All I had to do was ask. I don't know. It was like the difference between riding a spirited horse you have to fight to master and riding a safe horse that would do everything you wanted. When I was that age safety was boring. That made you boring too. I'm sorry but it was true."

Her hand reached up to stroke my cheek.

"I wasn't mature enough to realise what you could offer. Now I have two failed relationships behind me. You had your Marjorie. I was jealous of her. Did you know that?"

"No. I didn't feel even a hint of jealousy."

"I hid it carefully. Marjorie was my friend too. I'm sure she knew. She also knew that she could trust you, and probably me. Is there any more coffee?"

"Of course."

We went into the kitchen for the coffee. As if by mutual consent we distanced ourselves from each other. I knew Elaine was hurting and too much sympathy might lead somewhere we might regret. She was only hours into the rebound from a destructive relationship. I was vulnerable at this time of year because my Christmases were reminders of Marjorie and what might have been. Elaine left before lunch to tidy up the mess Terry had left ripping his stuff from the house. I offered to help. She refused saying that it would do her good to rid the house of evidence of his presence. One offer she did accept. I changed the front and back door locks. Once I had finished I offered to give her dinner in the evening. She accepted as if her mind was elsewhere.

When she returned she wasn't dressed formally and she carried a familiar plastic bag. She was wearing a tight white T-shirt and a clinging black jersey skirt. Neither concealed her figure and my reaction embarrassed me. She noticed and giggled.

"I didn't know I still had that effect on you, Andy. I just slung these things on after I'd showered. The house is cleaner than it has been for months now Terry's stuff is gone. I was too tired to dress up. Do you mind?"

I shook my head.

"I can see you don't object. What's for dinner?"

"Nothing special. I had prepared a goulash. There's more than enough for two. Soup beforehand. That do?"

"Yes, anything," Elaine sounded sad. "I'd welcome any meal I haven't cooked myself. I haven't had a meal out in I don't know how long."

"You haven't?" I was surprised. I would have expected Terry to spend money on restaurants. I should have known better. Terry only wanted to spend money on himself and his toys.

We talked about mutual friends at University while we ate. It was good to remember old times. It seemed so long ago and so far removed from our present situation. Elaine brightened up as the evening went on. I don't think it was just the wine. The Bulgarian Red was fierce enough to cope with the goulash. We had a bottle of Chablis with the cheese and biscuits.

Elaine produced the bottle of Scotch from that plastic bag. We moved to the living room, opened the Scotch, and toasted each other with best wishes for Christmas. It was a good whisky. We sat side by side on the settee looking at the coal fire.

Elaine sighed.

"Wishing for a good Christmas isn't going to make it happen for either of us, is it, Andy?"

"No, Elaine. We have too many memories and too much to regret."

Elaine pulled her legs up onto the settee and turned to face me.

"Not all the memories are bad. Remember me yelling at you when you wanted to gag me, that time down by the river?"

I smiled. "Yes, Elaine. You made your objection very clear. Your language was impressive. It still is if what I heard you call Terry this morning is a sample."

"I did let him know what I thought, didn't I?"

"Very effectively,"

"I wish..."

"What do you wish, Elaine?"

"I wish I was still the girl you tried to gag."

"You are, inside. The real you doesn't change that much."

"Are you sure, Andy?"

"Yes. That is why I knew you hadn't consented when I saw you tied to that kitchen table. You always wanted to direct the games even if you were supposed to be the victim. I can't see that you would be any different even now."

"In that I'm not. If I'm not playing the domme I want everything done just so. If Terry..."

"If what?"

"If he had gone along with my fantasies I might have endured the rest. He didn't. He wanted everything done his way, always. Never mine."

Elaine snuggled up to me. I put an arm around her shoulder. She wriggled closer still.

"Could we?" She looked up at me.

"Could we what?"

"Play some of those games this Christmas? You and I?"

I looked at Elaine.

"Are you sure? It is a long time since we did."

"Please, Andy. It would make Christmas bearable for me."

Whether it was the whisky, the wine, or Elaine's body pressing against mine or all of them – I don't know. Whichever – I agreed and was rewarded with a passionate kiss. Even after that I had doubts.

"Isn't it too soon?" I suggested diffidently. "You only kicked him out today."

"Maybe. How about Christmas Day? You'll be alone; I'll be alone. The neighbours will be busy with their families. We could make Christmas dinner together. Then..."

"That sounds like a good idea. That would make Christmas worthwhile instead of being a lonely day."

"Then we have a date, Andy. Your place or mine?"

"What do you think, Elaine?"

"I think here would be best. Your kitchen is larger than mine."

"OK. Here it is. What time?"

"If I come over about ten in the morning we could prepare the meal and have some fun while it cooks. That is if you defrost the turkey first. You will, won't you?"

"Of course. I wasn't going to buy a turkey just for me. I thought a rolled turkey and bacon joint would be enough. Even with two of us the smallest turkey is very large."

"A joint would be good. Should I bring anything, Andy?"

"Just you – and perhaps this bottle of Scotch."

"That's easy. I'll leave it here tonight. I think we ought to end the evening now and leave more interesting things for Christmas Day. That way we'll have something to look forward to."

"I agree, Elaine. Tonight is too soon."

Elaine slid gracefully away from me and stood up. She wobbled slightly. Both of us had drunk just a little too much.

"One last thing, Andy, before I go. Have you still got that large apron Marjorie used to wear when preparing meals for guests?"

"Yes. I think so. She had two or three. You mean the ones that covered her from neck to ankles so she could cook with her evening clothes on?"

"Can you find them for Christmas Day, please? I don't want to have to change between cooking and eating."

"Will do. I think they are folded up in a kitchen drawer."

That was it. Elaine pecked a goodnight kiss on my cheek and she was gone, leaving a trace of her perfume in the room. That night I dreamed of her as she was when we were students together. I woke to a wet patch. I hadn't done that in years.

The two weeks between that evening and Christmas Day seemed endless. Elaine was in and out of my house from time to time asking my advice about some of the financial problems Terry had left her with. Gradually we made sense of the mess. I agreed to wait a couple of months before she started paying the arrears of rent by instalments. She had to increase her overdraft temporarily. I had to be her guarantor. I wasn't keen to place her under an obligation because I felt she should be free and independent. She had no one else that would take the risk. They were all afraid that Terry would be back and Elaine would let him mess up her life again. I knew that Elaine had finished with him forever. She was regaining her confidence and seemed much happier. The gossip about Terry was that he was chasing a widow in a town about thirty miles away. He wasn't around his mother's house very often and was rarely seen locally.

All Elaine and I had were perfunctory kisses on each other's cheeks. There was a real expectation that Christmas Day would be special and we wanted to wait until then. We both felt the tension and the excitement of a promised treat, almost as if we were young lovers again.

I had bought enough food for both of us. We could eat for several days on the supplies stored in the fridge-freezer and cupboards. Apart from the Christmas Dinner itself, most things needed little preparation. I hoped that Elaine would stay longer than the day. If she did, I was prepared. If she didn't, I would try to hide my disappointment. I was unusually nervous. I think she was too.

At ten o'clock to the minute Elaine walked through my back door carrying a suitcase. I took it from her and helped her take off her long white fur-trimmed coat. She was wearing a full-skirted deep red dress with a white belt and a white silk scarf around her neck. She looked as if she could be a Father Christmas' helper. She rustled as she moved, hinting at the layers of taffeta petticoats under her dress. I had dressed up too, with a white silk shirt, and a dark suit with a bright red tie. That tie matched her dress as if I had intended to. Elaine looked at me critically.

"You look great," she said, "but is that practical for cooking? Did you find the apron?"

I pulled open a large kitchen drawer.

"Yes," I replied, "and these. I'd forgotten that Marjorie sometimes protected her hair as well."

I showed Elaine a pair of white mobcaps. She took one from me and fitted it to her head.

"How do I look?"

"Odd. It doesn't go with the dress."

"It will go with the apron. Give."

I handed her the folded apron. She lifted it to her neck and wrapped it over her dress. It was a full length and full-skirted Victorian style apron with wide shoulders ending in capped frills. She turned round holding the back ties together.

"Do me up, please Andy."

I threaded the wide ties through loops on the end of the waistband and pulled. The apron nearly met around Elaine's waist. I crossed the ties. I was about to fasten them in a large bow when I had a mischievous idea. I quickly looped them around Elaine's wrists before I tied a knot.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "What are you up to?"

I spun her round and kissed her. She responded, leaving me in no doubt that I had not been too daring. She pulled away.

"OK, that's enough for now. Untie me, or we won't have a Christmas meal."

I did and then tied the apron properly.

"Now you," Elaine said. "You need to protect that suit. There's another apron."

"Must I?"

"Yes. This is a joint effort. I'm not doing all the work."

I wasn't as practised at putting an apron on. Elaine had to arrange it before she too tied my wrists. I thought she might. I'd left them too long behind my back. This time she kissed me for longer then untied me.

She sorted out the joint while I peeled potatoes. We worked on the brussel sprouts and the other ingredients together. Once the joint and potatoes were in the oven everything else took only a few minutes more.

"Phew!" Elaine exclaimed. "I'm getting hot. How about you Andy?"

"Yes. The kitchen does tend to get warm."

Elaine removed the apron and mobcap. She set the kitchen timer for the next part of the cooking. I shed my apron and suit jacket, hanging them both up behind the kitchen door.

"How about a sherry while we wait?" I asked. "Dry, medium, sweet? Which?"

"A dry one, please."

We moved to the sitting room and sat on the settee with our sherry. Elaine had carried her apron and mobcap with her. Her skirt spread across my leg. She loosened my tie and then removed it, unbuttoning the neck of my shirt.

"You looked too formal," she explained.

I didn't mind. The touch of her fingers on my skin was exciting. She removed the scarf around her neck and put it on the arm of the settee. Then she let her hair fall down. She relaxed back against the settee, kicking her red high-heeled shoes off. I hadn't seen their colour before under the wide splay of her skirt. She tucked her feet up under her.

"That's better," she said. "We have an hour before we have to go back to the kitchen. Any ideas?"

I shook my head.

"No? Then I have. Put your hands behind your back, Andy, and turn away from me."

I did. She lashed my hands with my tie. She pulled me backward so that my head was in her lap looking past her breasts towards her face. Her hands stroked my cheeks. I sank into the folds of her skirt. Either side of me was a wall of billowing red. There was a flash of white. Elaine stuffed her silk scarf in my mouth. I tried to rear upwards. She leant forward and her breasts pushed me back down. Her arms wrapped around her legs locking me in place. I was trapped between her breasts and her legs and enjoying both.

"I've got you now, haven't I Andy? You can't get away. And you can't answer. What a shame."

My legs thrashed uselessly. My head, shoulders and torso were buried under her and I couldn't get any leverage. Elaine pressed down harder until she was smothering me with her breasts. I enjoyed the softness and her perfume until I started to run out of breath. She held me there for long enough to demonstrate just how helpless she'd made me before she unclasped her arms and lifted her breasts from my face. I panted through my nose until she pulled the silk scarf from my mouth.

"That might have been good for you, Andy. It didn't do much for me except to remind me that I enjoy having a man at my mercy sometimes."

I was still breathless.

"Would you do something for me?" She asked.

I nodded. I was still short of breath.

"You will? I haven't even said what I want."

I nodded again.

She hugged me briefly. I disappeared under her breasts.

"I want to be the first course of our Christmas Dinner. Will you eat me?"

"Yes."

"Thank you. Let's roll you over."

She helped me turn so that I was lying face down in her lap. She bunched up the layers of petticoat and skirt as I held my head up as high as I could. Her petticoats were alternate layers of gold taffeta and silver net. They looked magnificently suitable for Christmas Day.

I couldn't see if her brunette bush was as inviting as I remembered it from all those years ago. Elaine pushed my head under her skirt as she spread her legs. I sank into the warm perfumed darkness. My tongue explored until I found what I sought. I kissed and licked as she wrapped the bunched clothes tightly round me. She tasted wonderful. I had nearly forgotten how good a woman can taste.

I hadn't lost my skill. After a few minutes I could feel her getting warm and flushed. She writhed to get my tongue probing exactly where she needed it. Her hands subtly directed through the rustling layers above me. She started to moan, softly at first so that I could barely hear her through the noise of her petticoats, and then louder as I continued to arouse her.

Elaine had always been noisy when she was properly aroused. She was now. She was begging for more and I was afraid the neighbours or passers-by might hear her excitement. I wondered whether I ought to stop or hold back so that she could be quieter. I didn't want to. I was enjoying myself too much. I was giving Elaine the pleasure she wanted. Suddenly her cries were muffled. I probed harder and deeper. I knew she was climaxing as her legs clamped around me and her hands pulled my head tightly to her yet her sounds were faint whimpers I could barely hear.

The kitchen timer started its raucous racket. Elaine spread her legs to ease her grip on my head. Her hands lifted her clothing from around my head. I slid away as she moved and raised my head to look up at her face. She had stuffed her own mouth with the white silk scarf. I had never known her do that before. Years ago, making love to Elaine had been best done well away from anyone else. Her noises made what we were doing too obvious. This time she had quietened herself.

She removed the tie from my wrists. We stood up and her skirt fell back to the ground, slightly creased. She shook it so that the petticoats rustled loudly. I tucked my shirt back in.

In the kitchen the next stage didn't take long. We returned to the settee, sitting side by side with another glass of sherry.

"Thank you, Andy," Elaine said suddenly.

"For what?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "I was enjoying myself as well."

"Maybe, but you made me feel that I was special and that you were doing it just to please me."

"The pleasure was mine."

She laughed. That laugh was the first genuine one I had heard from her in months. She stood up before sitting down on my lap with her arm around my neck. Her hair stroked my cheek.