All Comments on 'Real Erotica (Death Of A Marriage)'

This was good. I mean, you need to work on your grammar and stuff, but emotionally this was a very true story, very honest. Hot and awkward and sick and sexy--you captured the ambiguity of ex-sex really well.

The emotions are all there, so is the pain. I hate the very idea of divorce. I understand it has to happen and it's the only solution for some marriages, but I still hate it.

To see the anger and the lost love in this story just makes me very sad.

Good submission. Very stark and a good slice of real life. Even after the divorce, they can't let go, but refuse to hold on as well. Actually as if they have a deep seated need to keep hurting one another.

The writing style is good and you do need a little grammar work. But, damn good nonetheless.

Regards,

C

you not only captured their emotions but expressed them in your writing. a fan always.

even if it was my life.

I liked the raw feelings captured so well. I've been in a similar situation. Not the truck, but the last time, at the end of a bitter relationship. We fucked each other out of hate and it was one of the most intense sexual experiences of my life. I'm curious to see what you write about next.....

This is a very hot, if fast-paced grudge fuck story about an estranged couple fucking as part of a deal over a truck. I don't know if I would have helped her with the truck or not, sex or no sex. Probably, just to get a grudge fuck out of it, but I wouldn't have done anything else for her ever again. Not that it matters. I'm not the guy in the story. In any case, I loved the mixture of lust and hate (his denial was not that believable). The idea of him fingering her ass was nice. The tears were interesting, given how nasty she was to him otherwise.

This was a little rushed, but it was still a nice plot, and a step or two beyond simple stroke (not that there is anything wrong with stroke). I give it a 5 for sheer intensity of mixed emotions.

They should try to get along with each other as much as possible if for no other reason that they have a child.

Boyd

I have spent my life observing human nature, most expressly mens behavior. It always facinates me how men can fuck anything, for any reason with never a care for the feelings of the other party, even, at times, another man. This was well written, well defined and clearly stated emotions, and to the point of the matter. Thanks for the peek into the maleness of sex. I look forward to you doing it again.

I have also spent my life observing and learning about human behaviour, and it never ceases to amaze me how women can be so manipulative and so in denial about the manipulation because it serves their goals and not others. Great story that told both sides.

Why

He thinks he manipulated her? She just maneuvered him into a sport fuck!

A divorcing couple that's pissed-off at each other like these two would not have a farewell fuck over...a jump start - she can easily find neighbors/friends for that. The author does an excellent job conveying the husband's emotional pain and anger - so much so that the sex is not erotic.

good story we all wish for one more fuck sometimes

I just had this with my ex girlfreind on a sad drunken night on both of our prats...ex's should never hang out with each other....specially when you broke up shortly and emotions still linger....but it does make for some FUCKINg intese sex...good story how you mixed the anger and lust....and the control factor...the tears..priceless....

It was totally sad that two people denied themselves closure. With just a small admittance of truth they both could start new lives with a fresh outlook. Just more attitude is now added to the mix because of egos having to win. This is why divorce groups are formed. They can help people understand and move on.

Great writing with a lot of feelings being shown except the only ones understood are from the mans view point not the ex-wives reasons for her views at all.

Looking forward to your next endeavor.

Thank you

PT

The story had an easy reading style - good flow. You could probably use it for the start of a book

I've read this story and here is my honest review...

Plot - There IS a plot, which was lacking in some stories in this category. Erotic coupling need not be just mindless banging. A simple plot would make the story more colorful.

Quality of the story - Very interesting and captivating. For such a short story you managed to pack in a lot of important details like emotions, thoughts and feelings of both party. Even the simple act of urinating and you were able to narrate it heartfelt description.

Grammar - This is where I can't give you a 100. Too many mistakes that just can't be ignored. Too glaring. Almost every paragraph have some. Should have make use of an editor.

Eroticism - I didn't feel any but that doesn't mean the story was in any way, bad. Fact was I felt sorry for both party. Somehow I just couldn't help but get this feeling Dot was really still in love with Jody and vice-versa despite how both tried to hurt one another in a very weird dark way. Otherwise she wouldn't get that wet. Would she? (Point to ponder and to argue)

Overall - I like it not overly much but good enough that I will read it again in the future.

I enjoyed this. Very few close relationships, or those that were once close, are all love or all hate, and you can be turned on by someone you can't stand. All this is illustrated in a very concise and hot way. Best, Ken

strong and hard to the heart.there is some love there.

This story should certainly be awarded in recognition of its quality. The raw intense quality of the narrative which is not afraid of very direct details (for example: it does not avert its attention from this guy’s urinating (which in this case was relevant to what was going on in his mind…). I was reminded of classics such as “A cat on a Hot Tin Roof” or “Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf”, where raw emotions; mixture of hate and love and sexual tensions all interplay.

Now, wait a minute, are you saying that real erotica comes when it's about to die?

Well written. Realistic and intensely erotic.

This is a real Story. I enjoyed it, although it made me feel sad.

Very good writing. I was pulled into the story within the first few lines. Very easy and natural flow to the story.

You were able to truly capture and convey what real erotica is.

The reality of it made it interesting and erotic.

mmmmm what a deep read, someone has had this feeling happen, lots of people..... lots of couples don't always get it right thats for sure..

That was so different from the normal run of the mill on here, well thought out fast paced (I don't like to much padding) and to the point, I can see this really happening,

well done.