All Comments on 'Reality Break Ch. 01'

This reminds me a little of sword art online and dot/hack quantum. This story has interesting potential and it will be interesting to follow.

definatly want to see more of this

I really like the sound of this story! I really love the way you take care to build a colorful and vivid world. I look forward to reading more about Glass and "his" adventures!

Well written although i found a bit too much detail on the character creation - for a bit of humour I would perhaps had her take a few tries to come up with a name - getting one that's not taken is always a task!

I would perhaps have had a needle on the vr system in the care of the skull to stimulate the cns, and some safety function that cuts it off over a preprogrammed length of time, so people don't starve/miss work/forget to sleep.

Ok guy if your gonna write something this interesting u need to have the next one ready cause I hate waiting ya jerk that said hurry upppppppp

Honestly, I'm glad to find something highly original and well done. Could use an editor though. Pure gold could come from this with a second pair of eyes.

Have you read a manga called 1/2 prince because this is a lot like this but don't get me wrong I love it keep up

it looks like combination of 1/2 prince and sword art online.

While I've heard of Sword Art Online and its plot, I've never heard of the 1/2 prince one, I'll check it out for the similarities you all mentioned.

it's a light novel which is converted into manga also, you can find the manga on mangareader .

All in title... nice seasoned mixed novel, hopefully enjoy next episodes asap. I dare say " wow" (wink!) Thnx !

Makes me think of .Hack/// (aka dothacksign)

you should also check out the legendary moonlight sculptor it's another VR novel

check it out on www,royalroadl.com

anyways awesome story please keep up the good work

I like the whole premise. I am an (old) rpg fan and this tickles my fancy. Tnx, oldbut

Sounds very similar to a manga ive read a long time ago. 1/2 prince, perhaps?

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I know its been a while since you posted this, but as you asked for feedback.....

Its a nice setup, and we have a sense of Glasie, but not quite enough of her personality. Still, the bedroom scene was nice :) But you could add more to how she regards her cousin or her family, just a few adjectives or a bit of dialogue would do it. It seems she has a comfortable playful relationship with her friend, but a few references to shared interests might be helpful in establishing it.

The coma girl, very cool touch. You've got me looking forward to learning more about her. Would be very interested in reading more about what the Virtual world is for her - I'd think it would be kinda profound, her only 'real' world from now on.

About the Demonz and his gang controlling the city...that seems off. Any normal city in a game should be public access, with minimal if any pvp. I'd only expect griefing allowed in player-built towns.

Fuck the Critics! Bet they Never wrote anything. Those Assholes! Keep Writing! Always looking forward to More of your work. Steve

All the technical information in the beginning made it a bit tough to keep reading. However it quickly became far more interesting once you got past that. I like the detail you've put in. It paints a good picture. I also like how you are developing the plot and character backgrounds. Looking forward to the next chapter.

I really enjoyed the interaction between Glass and Blossom, and the fact that she’s in a coma while in Virtual reality. I hope one day this might be possible for real with coma patients, it might be good for them to interact with someone in some way.

Maybe you could submit this story to virtual reality companies and hospitals that work with coma patients? Just a thought. Either way, I’m really enjoying the story. :)

I enjoy the concept of literally being dropped into an RPG. However, many of the authors in this genre are obsessed with the games' mechanics and lose the story for me in the details. This has a great balance of character, plot, fun and game mechanics! Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing!