All Comments on 'Reality is Different Ch. 05'

First let me say you're a great writer and I really loved most of this story... but (and please don't take what I say next too harshly because really this story is one of the best ones on this site) i didn't care for how you ended it. I was hoping something would actually happen between the two of them. The whole story was basically about a girl fantasizing about crossing a line with her father but never does until the last page of this chapter when she finally gets the courage to take that first step to turning fantasy into reality but unfortunately that's where the story ends. So I guess we'll never know...

Yeah. A bit of one. I have/had a feeling that this ending wasn't going to be extremely popular. But it really felt like the only thing that I could do.

I was somewhat inspired, originally, by one of my own favorites, "Maybe, Maybe Not," which I think is quite well done. A similar theme, oriented around the girl's thoughts and fantasies. Like mine, that one ended right on the verge of when things would become 'real' (or not).

Originally, I imagined that I would go further than that. But as I was writing it, as I was thinking about how to shape it, I found that every approach felt wrong. The problem is the background theme of the story - how fantasies and how this kind of fiction is different from reality. And nothing I could write, nothing I would want to write, could really be MEANINGFULLY different from the fiction that I talk about. Even if I threw in some awkwardness or pain or discomfort, I'd still end up making it basically something super satisfying and wonderful for her/them, because for it to be unsatisfying would be rather depressing.

So going beyond where I stopped myself would essentially require an unhappy ending, or going against the central theme of the story. It would be "reality is different and more complicated than fantasies, and you never know what's going to happen - but actually everything is pretty much perfect like in the fantasies after all." It doesn't work. And I eventually settled on this, as what felt like the only real solution, to leave it uncertain. Sarah's reflection near the very end kind of touches on these same ideas.

I'm sorry that you find it less than satisfying, though. I was kind of halfway considering writing...not another chapter or an addendum, but like a kind of "what if." What MIGHT happen, or might have. It's silly, but maintaining the thematic integrity of this story in itself is kind of important to me, so I'd be calling it a separate thing.

Thanks for this great father daughter incest tale. Love it, good length, 5 star vote.

This is a very well-written series. Loved the characters. Maybe you could write an epilogue at some point?

They really can obsess one can't they.

Feel so sorry for poor Sarah to have agonised and put all that effort into her hoping and then to find 'reality IS different'

While the action in this story is given in snippets inside Sarah's imagination, it's still undeniably hot. The real value of this story, though, is in its realism; Sarah can't help but agonize over the possibilities if her actions, whether she takes them or only imagines them. Her character is meticulously built, and I can't help but sympathize with her issues.

In some ways, I would've liked to see a "real" ending... however, as this piece has proven with every chapter, imagination is the most powerful erotic element, and given that this while story has been deliciously angsty, I'm personally content with being left with some of my own angst about what really came of their relationship.

If I were to hazard some guesses …

A: Sarah's Dad turns her down. He'd obviously be very gentle about this, and would help her come back around to 'normal' - I can't see his character behaving in an angry or vindictive fashion, and he's definitely shown no propensity as a manipulator. This (A) seems the most realistic of possibilities, but it doesn't make a good story - especially on this site.

B: Sarah's dad is overcome by sudden passion for her and she gets what all the stories she's read say she's got coming. Bleah, this would be an absurd change of pace in this story, unrealistic and out of character; Sarah would end up traumatized. Unlikely result, and thankfully this author wouldn't stoop to give it to us.

C: Sarah's dad doesn't turn her down, but talks her down from this emotional precipice she's on from the evening's confrontation. Sort of like (A) to start, he reasons with her and helps her understand how she got here (socially awkward, poor self-confidence and self-image, mother abandoned them and she's afraid of being the same, who knows)... however, this has all opened *his* eyes, and he can't help but see her less as his little girl and more as a woman now, and on her side, she's opened Pandora's Box, and eventually their passions both climb to each other, and it's hubbahubba time. (C) may make a good story, though I'm often leery of sappy happy-ever-afters.

So, when you beg for a real ending, don't forget that sometimes what you'll get would be a let-down, one way or another... every crush I've ever had turned into something less exciting, at some point (either I crashed and burned - bummer, our I did nothing about the crush - boring, or I got married - nice and calm but nice and calm is a boring story to tell, even if it does make for a good life!).

wow, loved it.

This story is a publishable work, I enjoyed it very much. I like the ending best of all even though (or maybe because) it took me utterly by surprise because I was scrolling the story as I read and had no idea of the abruptness of the ending until it was upon me. I enjoyed the zen of its possibility. I will tell you in earnest I skipped most of the fantasy sex sections. The first was good enough. I understand that you probably felt you needed to keep including them a part of each chapter because of the nature of the site, (or maybe you actually did like crafting them), and they were not disappointing, but once I was invested in the character, I knew what she wanted so I didn't need to hear it reiterated. I think the total work could actually be edited down and remove most of those and be a stronger work. Once the reader knows her desires then the real draw of the story is the struggle and the interactions. The father is well drawn but needs something to make him, I don't know, less perfect. The lack of response to her desire is understandable in the context of the story but I was most compelled to his reality in the last when he lost his temper and I felt his reality most when he demonstrated his confusion saying how he needed her help to understand what was going on inside her head. That is a great example of your keen ear for dialog. It was very rarely stilted. I sympathize with your posts to readers about the struggle to work the story forward in a believable way. Fortunately for me I came across it after you had completed it so I didn't agonize about the delivery of the next episode. I have my own story outlined and the hardest part the most difficult leap is building the bridge to intimacy between family member (especially parent and child) in a credible way. Most stories lose me there and once I find myself on this side of that chasm unwilling to make the leap, or having made the leap falling into disappointment, it makes it all the harder to keep looking for works like yours. Fortunately I found it. I'll be looking at your other work but I think I might be less enthused because this one was (or could be) nearly perfect.

best regards and thanks for several intellectually pleasurable evenings of reading

with admiring sincerity

C.M.

To be honest, yes, writing the overtly sexual fantasies did become something of a chore in the process. Wondering "Okay, how can I mix it up this time..." But I did worry that it would be significantly less popular if there was no sex to break up the guilt and hand-wringing, so I figured I had to have them in there.

One problem, maybe, is that I made no effort early on to have any kind of progression to her fantasies - they start out pretty fully-developed and direct. It might have worked better if I had made them reflect her growing commitment to the dream here, starting out as something very vague and quick and developing later into (fewer of) those fully-featured interludes.

You're pretty much right about the father being a little too perfect behaviorally, even if I was careful to paint on a few flaws physically (and then have her increasingly ignore them). I would say that a large part of this is that we're not really seeing him as himself, but him as a loving daughter sees him. This is also why I deliberately never gave him a name at any point, or specified an age precisely; to Sarah, he's "Dad" first and foremost.

But as far as characterization goes, that's an excuse. I should have tossed in a few more character flaws, expressed in ways that showed her as unbothered by them but still visible to the reader. I'm pretty sure he drinks too much, for one, and doesn't worry that much about driving buzzed.

Please write more soon!

Desperately hoping there going to be another chapter, this story is amazing

a masterpiece... thank you!

I was supposed to go to bed 3 hours ago. Wow. Just wow.

To be honest I never, ever in a million years thought I'd be glued to my computer on a fanfiction smut site desperate to know what happens next. You have genuine storytelling prowess and I hope you continue to contribute.

As for the ending? I'm in two minds. I'm a sucker for a happy ending but I don't see how it would work as it would degenerate the overall story into the fiction Sarah references and making it poorer for it.

On the other hand, I LOATHE cliffhangers. Gah!

Yes, you are the master of the slow build up! I agree, if Sarah's fantasies about her father had started out vanilla and built to intensely erotic levels, that would have increased the interest level for us readers. Perhaps the father's secret solo erotic life could have been expanded, and perhaps an external crisis could have been contrived to weaken her father's resolve at just the right time. The father seems pretty passive and unaware in most of the story; as you say, too perfect. More character flaws might have made it more believable if one night he had given into his daughter's yearnings. Financial difficulties and shared hardship might have sufficed to bring them closer. One avenue into sexual intimacy might be a spanking, something her father legitimately might have done when she was a child, and something she remembers as a source of comfort and security from those days. It might work best if, after a night together, they both realized that incest was not a viable, long term option and they both called it off, stronger and wiser. Perhaps more attractive external options for both father and daughter might present themselves about then. Or perhaps, to satisfy prurient interests, they carried on a bit longer to eventually reach the same conclusion. You could even, at this point, move the story into the present. Sarah, now forty and long married, visits her widowed sixty-ish father and they resume a relationship that, it is now revealed, they have carried on at a low and undetected level all along. All delicious possibilities, I think, and you have the chops to write it.

Well? How did her father respond? Are you going to write more or leave us hanging?? You are absolutely the very best author on this site and I've read everything you've written. I identify with other commenters; I've lost sleep, I haven't fulfilled my responsibilities and I've not eaten because I couldn't tear myself away from your stories. Thank you for sharing your talent.

excellent!

I've been glued to this story for the past couple of days. I have relatives over and Im more interested in reading this story than spending time with them. I can't help myself, it's just too good to put down. What a wonderfully written piece of work. Very creative and unique from anything I've read. I'm yearning for more from these characters. All the time I've invested reading about them I can't let them go and need more!

Brilliantly written! You are a fabulous author. Just wish it would have ended with at least a kiss you know.

He has to love her back. he just has to. Everytime I read this series, and its way more than once, its like its heartbreaking and heart warming at the same time. And I just hope for the dad to love her back. its so sweet you know. Aagh its killing me, just one more para about him feeling the same way or something. its like right there and then its done. he just has to love her back. has to.

Honestly extremely disappointed in the ending, it was a fantastic story, sat here all night and read the entire series.

I only hope.. i really do, there will be, someday, more chapters...

You have can amazing talent. This story and Little Things are two of my absolute favorites. Your ability to create wholely believable and complex characters is incredible. I, like many others, wish the story didn't end with so much uncertainty, but I understand the need for it. It's just another reason you are a superior writer.

Like a previous commenter said, I think the story would have been just as enjoyable with less of the detailed fantasies. Maybe even better.

I noticed it's been over a year since your last submission. I hope you haven't retired, that you're just working on your next masterpiece.

Not retired. Just slow. Horribly, ungodly slow. A paragraph or two a week, something like that, perhaps. It's far, far more difficult for me to write than it once was, partially because the subject matter doesn't honestly have quite as much of an effect on me as it once did, partially because it feels like I've taken on a bizarre kind of perfectionism. I don't know. The words don't come to me the way they used to.

Really struggled the last few chapters.

When will the hot fantasies be consumated? Opened this last chapter hoping that it would happen.

Great story, five chapters. Now it feels like I wasted my time, with this pathetic ending.

Please write another story! Finish it. Really into all of them and then we don't know how her reacts or say.

Wow. Yeah. Really like the "deconstructive" nature of this entire story, for lack of a better term. An actually realistic story of how urges like this would play out in real life.

Gotta say though, I like a really lengthy story with lots and lots of build-up, but this series got to be a bit much from time to time. I loved the characters, especially how you portrayed the daughter, so I was able to stick with it, but you did skirt close to rambling sometimes.

Still though, that's me nitpicking. You're still getting 5 stars. Well done, as always!

And like others have asked, are you still writing? Seems like it's almost been a year since you've been on here, let alone actually posted a story! I really like your writing style, and the topics you choose to tackle, and I really hope to see you back on here at some point!

Good lord, the last chapter was put up 3 years ago, wasn't it. This is utterly absurd.

Technically, I'm nearing the end of its followup. Such as it is. I don't know about the quality - I'm already aware of something substantially different that I should have done with the plot to make it better, but I'm not going to change it because it would mean trashing the majority of what I've already written. It's only about 50,000 words at the moment, a little longer than After the Fall. But I have to finish, and I fear that my ability to write is essentially lost. I can get scenarios in my head, but I can't find decent words for them except by lengthy and agonizing struggle. Everything sounds awful to me - even the sentences I finally settle on don't seem that fantastic. And two years for 50k words is beyond all sanity.

I'm going to force myself to complete it, just because it feels a terrible waste otherwise. But I don't know that there's going to be anything after that.

This is absolutely the most realistic story I've ever read on this genre.

I started reading on this site about 1.5 years ago. Came across ''Words on skin by Pacofear.''

And out off all of the stories, that one is still my favorite. Maybe because it was my 'first time'. I was depressed after finishing it. Like sometimes when you finish a book or a movie. Back to the eart.

This story was one of them. And I am afraid to read the sequel. Characters are so real, I don't want story to finish.

Anyway, great job. I hope you write lots of stories, you have talent, and imagination.

Oh my god. Loved this whole thing.

You should go to a life's little fantasy web site and write there. What a waste of time!