All Comments on 'Red Orchids Ch. 06'

What a wonderful combination of greed, lust, introspection, intrigue...and on and on. It all hangs together beautifully. Thank you so much. A fantastic read!

Excellent writing, few grammatical oopsies ("principal" instead of "principle" being the most annoying). Good characterizations, particularly Shannon being insane and Marlene being warped and twisted by her mother's madness. Superb plot with excellent narrative drive, nicely twisted.

My only complaint is that no human male can come as many times as Henry did in so short a time span. Five or six or however many times it was in the short space of a few hours is simply physiologically impossible. It marred the quality of the finished product.

Still, an enjoyable erotic thriller and I thank you. Excellent fiction this is. This 100's for you, bluefox, for a story well-told.

Those damn typos... to the previous post, my apologies. I think no matter how hard my editor and I try, something always friggin slips through. I will post an edit ASAP. And thnk you all for your kind words. Cheers!

why did ellen live? it was a very good story but it shoulden't have had a happy ending like that come on man thats just like the hollywood bull shit everyone else does if you wanted to make a fantastic story you would have left a chunk of you in it and not just the happy ending crap when bullets fly people die nuff sayed.

To the previous comment... well, it's true I could have ended this ala "Reservoir Dogs" and had everyone die. But that's just not me. The "chunk" of myself you think is missing is actually spread out through every part of the story, including the ending. The day may come where I am so depressed and hateful of life that a downer ending would seem like a good idea, but for now I prefer stories that end with at least a speck of hope.

Originally, I had intended for Ellen to kill Shannon with her bare hands, but the finality of a gunshot wound to the head felt more appropriate, the decision more abrupt and sudden. If Ellen had ultimately died, the contrast to what led Shannon and Marlene down the path to becoming killers versus what led Ellen to the same place would have been lost. I never intended for anyone to come away completely innocent or guilty, with the exception of little Maddie. The idea that somtimes good people can be compromised despite their best efforts is the whole emotional arc of the story, the whole point really. Some characters, like Mark and Shannon, are completely at peace with their compromised values and morals. Some, like Henry and Ellen try to resist that compromise, but fail for one reason or another. And then you have Marlene and Maddie, both sculpted by the morals of all of the above. Marlene was raised compromised and deviantly, without any reference to know better.

Ellen is our heroine, and she goes from pathetic ignorance to impotent suspicion to angry retribution and finally, in the end, to becoming a killer herself. When she pulls the trigger, she becomes no better than Shannon, Marlene or Mark. Did she do the right thing? Yes, I believe so. Is she fundamentally compromised? Absolutely.

In my mind, the story ended on a very dark note. Henry and Ellen both had been compromised by the events unfolding around them, and their ultimate sexual union as Mark is being murdered is very questionable. Who ends up coming out of this tragedy with a tinsle-town shine on their crown is a mystery to me. Maybe it is a Hollywood ending, but I don't care. I wrote from the heart and this is what came out.

But thank you for reading the story and for taking the time to post. I appreciate it. Cheers! -bluefox07