All Comments on 'Revelation'

Who is Raul?

You start off with a great story then leave us readers hanging with a final paragraph that has no similarities with the story. Why that ending?

I'm a guy, I come to a site called Literotoca for sex stories. I won't say this was a bad story, it wasn't what I was looking for, and I think maybe I didn't understand it.

i was expecting more

you write like you don't speak english which means you should have enough sense to use a good english editor before posting. do all readers a favor and delete and rewrite this and any other stories you have then run them through a good editor before reposting. and never leave the readers hanging either finish your stories or don't bother starting at all.

this is a beauty....cant wait for the next part....let it be out soon...