by rpsuch
CAN ANYONE BELIEVE RPS HAS THE AUDACITY TO CEASE WRITING THE "NERD" SAGA. GEE!WHAT ARE THE NAY-SAYERS AND CRITICS GOING TO LAMBAST NOW. I GUESS HE WILL JUST HAVE TO WRITE ANOTHER GREAT NOVEL, WHICH IS WELL WITHIN HIS TALENTS TO ACCOMPLISH. TO PARPHRASE JEFF'S PEOPLE "WHEN YOU WAKE UP, GET DRESSED AND GO TO WORK YOU ARE LOOKING FOR TROUBLE AND WHEN ONE TAKES PEN IN HAND THEY ARE ASKING FOR IT. WITH DUE RESPECT TO RPS. TK U MLJ LV NV
A story of two exceptional people, told with a complete command of the English language. There may have been a typo, or an incorrect word somewhere, but I just can't remember.
I have loved this story from start to finish. Thank you for all the great work that you have put into it and for sharing it with all of us.
I look forward to your next literary endeavor.
SPAMX IS FINALLY ENDING! The whole submission of mostly 84 one pages was terrible from start to finish and extremely poor writing! For those individuals who did not like my comments, TOUGH SLEDDING FOR YOU! I enjoyed writing my comments to irritate and annoy you. It was really fun to make you frustrated and upset with my comments. Just for the record, I am in fact a professional editor and well published author in non-erotic literature. Some of my publications are in The Library of Congress! However, I am sure my critics would fail miserably in understanding my actual publications.
if anonymous is such a great writer and editor then why is he/she afraid to use thier name. you say the writng sux well man and standby your claim and prove you cando better otherwise SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LONG WINDED COWARD.
I have to just Boo! I kept holding out hoping it would get better and flow more because I really liked the idea of the story. However now that the end has come (which by the way, can you truly call that an ending?) I am totally disappointed and have to say, I hated the series. There was a potential for greatness in this story, however, RP you totally missed the mark. The chapters were regularly choppy and disjointed when they should have truly continued on. The last 25 chapters or so rather dragged on and you lost the spark that Ashley's and Goldberg had together. I hope in the future you will do your stories more justice. Good luck!
Itsmee2005
Thank you for a tale that often had me laughing out loud! I loved their banter.
Like so many others I would have preferred longer chapters, but let's not quibble. The tale was wonderfully written and the characters richly developed. I may just have to go back and re-read the whole tale again.
Growing up in a conservative Jewish home I was rolling with laughter at the descriptions (and breaking) of Jewish wedding traditions.
Very well done rpsuch! A belated G'mar hatima tova.
I concur with other poster that I am glad that this spam like submission over 84 chapters is finally over. Utter sight of relief that it is put out of its misery. Annoying tale
I would witheld laughing at the orthodox jewish culture of separating the men and women during a jewish marriage ceremony .Many cultures throughout the world still hold this culture in various forms except perhaps the Western culture,i would equally laugh at the West who have the Bachelorette/Bachelor pre-wedding party,where stripteasers of either sex are invited and debauchery can occur.It is not a surprise that in the West divorces rates are high and infidelity is a rampant root cause in divorces cases:The west has taken the institution of marriage down the drain all for the sake of enligthened sexuality and for the sake of individuality.But if others that do not conform to your values you kill them and try to export your culture to people who has a culture long before the US is born.
Just leave Orthodox Jewish tradition in peace and learn to accept the absurdity like you begin to accept the absurdity of inviting strippers tp your Bachelor party before the wedding.To each his own.
sorry to see the end. perhaps a sequel as to how their life progresses so many possible paths for them and family. its a shame all the detractors seem to be afraid to use their names if they didn't like it why read it? seems like a waste of their time.
Damn good shit Maynard. Hit me again. I hope your next work contain 85 chapters (at least :)
the whole 85 series was amazing. please do write a sequel about what happens after thier wedding
This is the kind of story that makes you sad when you come to the end even though this is the appropriate place to end the story.
I notice that the last chapter is the only one with two parts to it. Very appropriate.
I hope to meet this wonderful couple again in a later story.
Wow! Well done. Brilliant mix of romance, passion, humor, character development and complex relationships...
Definitely in my top 5 stories/novellas on this site (and I've read more than a few)
My only quibble: it was sometimes a bit difficult to determine which character was speaking... Is this next line Ashley speaking again... or is it Jeff's reply? I liked that the dialogue was quick and witty... but I did find myself re-reading some of the dialogue several times to discern who was saying what...
And that about says it all, this delightful tale is a witty romance that entertains on every level.Thank you.
You can spin a story with the best of them. If you don't do this for a living, you missed your calling.
What can I say... I was riveted, I missed a lunch date as I couldn't stop reading
The only bad thing i can say about this story is that i was reading it on my mobile and it took forever to get to read the chapters from 40 onwards.
I know I'm going to enjoy reading your other stories
Wow. I read this in a week. (Yeah, that long since I have school and stuff, oh well). Honestly, I am not a big fan of first person pov, simply because I have rarely seen it done correctly. In fact, there are times that I get lost while reading your story, I had to stop. Although the pacing was alright, it wasn't dragging for me at least, the transitions needed work. I would just be surprised that they have teleported themselves to another day and place on the next paragraph.
You were focused on dialogues and Ashley's thoughts that there were times, descriptions were lacking. You kinda missed out some details in the narration that I thought I am reading a script. Until now, I don't know how Ash or Jeff, or even her wedding gown looked like ^^;
But! I stuck with your story despite technical issues because of your interesting characters, unique plot and the witty conversations. I am not familiar with some of the references but I coped. I have yet to meet a person who finished uni in one year and phd in one though. But you successfully suspended my disbelief. (I am taking my masters in genetics and boy, is it so hard.)
I had a wonderful time reading this especially since I see family values incorporated here. I learned a lot. Thank you!
This is addititive I was in such a hurry to read the whole thing in one big swoop this is my first time commenting , bear with me Here read the whole thing in one night only stopping to eat , do chores etc & I love it !!! It was touch and go their at the end but overall I literally could not put this down. I'm so tired but so happy while I did notice some grammer errors ,also you need to work on longer chapters you could have put at least 3 chapters together in one. I love the learning for her and him , I'm still confused on what she's doing after she graduates. You sure kept me at the edge of my seat , I tried to go to sleep but it just keep knawing at me to come back so I did. I would definely buy this if & when you get it printed:) maybe even add in a 2-5 years later scene:)
I just finished reading this again from a chapter in the 50s
I was struck by some who kept nagging about the length
----welcome to the revenge of the nerd---
the joke is on you!!
i read this in about 4 hours start to finish.. i loved it.. very well writtenand seems to me that you are a very smart person.. this isnt my normal genre but i like it never the less
A wonderful story told with a difference. I loved your style writing.
Thank you.
all young ladies should be required to read this in 8th grade .the guys probably need it 4 times a yr til they pass.great read.rick.
I just loved this love story, well crafted and built up. Worthy of a book. Well done and congratulations on a superb story.
I waited till the final chapter to comment and i am glad i did.This is the first romance style novella i have read. I was entranced with it from the beginning and could not stop reading i loved every second through the ups and downs. please keep up the great work and i look forward to reading your other submissions. Again thank you for this and "you are amazing"
I started to read this anticipating an erotic story with hot, explicit, frequent sex. That is not the case, not even close. Was I disappointed? Not in the least. I only interrupted my reading due to time constraints, returning as soon as life allowed. A most enjoyable story filled with insight into human behavior. Thank you, rpsuch, for your contribution.
I too waited till the end to comment. I read the whole thing in less than 24 hours. I liked being able to read the first ten or so chapters all together. Great romance novel. I like the comment about girls reading this in 8th grade and young men multiple times a year. Good stuff.
Not only is this the best story I've read on lit, I have to say I think it is one of the best romance stories I've ever read, or better than any I've scene on screen.
Thank you for such a wonderful story. I'll pass the link on to my wife so she can enjoy it too.
This is hands down, one of the most engaging romance novellas I have ever read.
The characters you have painted so well are so real to me; I can see picture them so vividly. The buildup and development is incredible. It's as though I were there to see all of it happening. The humour is always present in some form to keep me smiling. The quotes are astounding. This story is so smart. And I could end up waxing lyrical about this story like how Jeff endeavours to explain things and never end so I will simply say, "Oh, my."
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story of beauty and the beast with us.
I finished in one sitting. Great job.
I've been told many times that the test of good writing is whether you wish it would continue after the author has finished the piece. By that standard, you deserve at least 10 stars. I would love to follow these characters through their entire lives, right to their deathbeds - even Ebenezer. Here's hoping that someday you favor us with a sequel.
Thank you very much for your effort.
I really got into the Ashley and Jeff story and I laughed a lot at the interactions they had as the relationship blossomed.
The story did have a couple of flaws:
Jeff and his family suffer from the malady of "the writer's favorite thing in the universe". Ridiculously smart protagonist whose sole problems are he can't understand or tolerate bad/selfish behaviour and he works too hard inventing life-saving products? Oh, and suddenly he can threaten a millionaire financier with business failure because EVERYONE in his field trusts him implictly about business after a summer job? Only the smart, snappy dialogue kept me from groaning sometimes.
And the family was so nice, and supportive, and kind-hearted, and welcoming .... it made for a trip through Wonka's factory sometimes: almost drowning in sugar.
Conversely, everyone in Ashley' family, with the possible exception of her mother, ranged from vapid to psychopathic. The cliched "working class hero versus the evil rich guy(s)" plot is so hackneyed it feels like it should be translated from cave drawings.
Before I get too critical, let me say I did read and mostly enjoy every chapter.
I guess that makes this sometimes crabby cynic a romantic at heart.
To be fair, I started it and then realised how many parts it was, but by that time I had developed a full on fiction addiction.
But this is probably the best novel I have read on LIT. Awesome
A stunningly beautiful Jewish girl! You had no semblance of credibility after that. Pathetically sad thereafter.
What a wonderful journey! Seeing Ashley grow from the spoiled bitch into a mensch was a fascinating and rewarding adventure.
So many annoyingly short chapters! Good thing they're all 5* quality. Couldn't stay away until the end.
Alona Talk is your ideal of stunningly beautiful? You simply prove my point! She is at best...plain.
Would have been more readable if the chapters were longer rather than annoying single short pages.
and I don't mean just Jeff.
Just two regrets: 1-that I have come to the end of the story and, 2-that I could give it only a '5'. Yes, the chapter length/quantity was mildly vexing, but not a big problem for me. A MOST enjoyable story. Thank you for writing and for sharing with the rest of us.
This needs to be released on Kindle. I would definitely pay a couple bucks for this to be in eBook form.
I thought the story was quite good.
What confuses me is the whiners and trolls. Why do they read through the story if they find it so distasteful.
I simply close the page after reading a bit, as I come to realize, I find the story disappointing.
Anything else said by me is only going to be redundant.
BTW, did I mention loving it...?
Compliment:
This story can be described in one word, FLAWLESS!
Complaint:
SWEET...... BABY...... JESUS! 1 page! You waited aaaaaaaalllllll the way until the last chapter to make it 2 pages! Dude, that was so irritating! You could have made it 5-10 pages per chapter. Please in the name of all that's holy, don't do that again!
Yes I've been critical, but as a full story I am glad that I found it. I am happier still with the finish which was excellent and in keeping with the wonderful characters that I will honestly miss.
J
I really enjoyed this story. It is I think the best one I have ever read on this site, and better than some books.
five stars throughout. My only problem is in the length of chapters thay are too short. But I love the story.
I agree with other comments, this is the best story I have read on this site. I couldn't stop reading.
In the interests of nitpicking in spite of the praise heaped on Ash at the wedding by her friend among other things it was a bit too little to late for me .
She was good, but he could do better.
This whole story has been a whirlwind combination of academic achievement, family dynamics, personal growth and the triumph of good (and logic, of course) over evil (and manipulation).
Well done!!
Outstanding story. Great characters that you fall in love with. The story brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion. Thank you so much.
I actually read this on SOL, but I had to come here to comment. This must be one of the best stories ever on both sites. What is missing in the descriptions is "Humour"
All the long of reading, I just couldn't help smiling - even my wife commented on this.
Marvellous.
I enjoyed your story about two people at opposite ends of the spectrum. Your characters were quite believable but I thought Ashley would have taken longer to realise how shallow she could be seeing how deeply it must have been ingrained in her. I wish also that the story hadn't been broken into so many parts really 85 parts. Anyway good story I enjoyed it. Owen
much could be said. it's a a good adventure. thanks!!!!! slap hapy papy #9
Excellent characters and dialogue. The plot was thin but it didn't seem to matter. Others have commented on the awkward pagination; I'll just let that go. Thanks for writing. JPR
I have read two stories that were clouds higher than any other story. This story made it up to those clouds too. The story was even made better by the ending, the fact that a obnoxious asinine ( you can put in many words to continue to describe ) Ashley's dear daddy was put in his rightful place which those of us who have such a person in our life's would so like to accomplish too. Thank you very much for your story. Now if I can only copy all 84 hundreds of pages so I can put them together in a book form so I can read the story again WITHOUT GETTING FRUSTRATED.
Wish there were 84 more. Read this twice. Fantastic story. Should or could be a movie or a tv show. You captured our heats and imagination with this tale.....10.
their entire relationship is one giant never ending cycle wherein she demeans and insults him, gets mad that he doesnt take her shit, and her begging him to take her back
I'd have dumped the rabid cunt after a few months of fucking her stupid
I would love for you to write my biography. I prefer to be dead by the time it’s finished. But I will enjoy watching my family read it from heaven.
THIS IS A STORY ABOVE ALL OTHERS. A TRUE ROMANCE TALE THAT'S NOT ALL GUMMED UP WITH LOADS OF NEEDLESS SEX. THIS STORY IS FUNNY, ROMANTIC, DRAMATIC, AND HOT. SEX DOES NOT ALWAYS HAVE TO CARRY A STORY THROUGH PAGE AFTER PAGE OF DETAILED LUST. ON A SCALE OF 1 TO 5, IT'S A 9. 1 POINT OFF FOR ALL THE ONE PAGE CHAPTERS. 5/8 PAGES PER CHAPTERS ARE A LOT EASIER FOR THE READERS.
Even though Jeff is like "1000%" smarter than I am, I could totally relate to him. What's weird, is you actually taught me more about myself through reading about him and I find myself thinking about this story a lot in my everyday life.
I'm in awe of how well you detailed everything. The thoughts, the emotions, the frustrating pride of Ashley... it was all so well done. Thank you.
What a riveting long read.
There are no words to fully describe what a terrific story this is. It has everything from arrogance to boundless love and forgiveness.
Your insight into the lives of people that are one way or another outside the norm is beyond belief.
Please, please keep writing you are truly gifted.
Chris from Cornwall UK.
I base my ratings on emotions. If you can make the reader experience hate or love, you're winning. As long as this book is, I found myself with a stupid, happy grin on my face the majority of the way through. Thank you for that. I rarely smile that long in real life. So its #1 so far for the best dopamine pull from a book for me.
Been reading since I was 4. Oh my!
This story has to be about as well written as any book I have come across, probably the one of the best if not thee best one on this sight. I laughed, cried and pohooed (new word in the dictionary to be added later).
Endings are tough to get right. This one not any different, endings can be anticlimactic.
I enjoyed all 84 chapters. I don't know where the revenge is, but it was a fun journey.
*****
Oh my!
I can't say this is the best story on Lit because I haven't read every story, but I'm pretty sure that I've read at least a couple of thousand and this is one of the best, if not the best, of them.
Can’t believe how this story just flowed. I enjoyed all 84 chapters and wished there was more. Not over the top on sex but enough to make it enjoyable. Hope to find another story as well written later.
One of the best stories I found on this site so far, although maybe not my absolute favorite. The only (little) problems I have with it are that it is divided into 1 page long chapters, which almost always have some kind of time jump. Other than that I wish the author would keep writing :)
Also, I did actually learn a few things reading this story, which is always a good thing.
X
This is by far my favorite story on Literotica - just like a novel I could not put down.
I enjoyed your story very much. You are obviously a very good author BUT with the exception of two chapters, every chapter consisted of one page. I think my fingers got tired moving to each chapter.
Thank you very much for the great story.
Great story. Especially the evolution of the character. The depth was better than any story i have ever read. Only negative point was the length of the chapters. Many could have been combined. will read that writer again....
I rarely kvell about stories, but...wow! Apart from Ashley's TSTL moment, which rang a little false, this story was just about perfect. Character development for the win!
Very lovely (but long!) story with some great characters and excellent character development. As long as it was, I’m almost sad to see it end, but am happy about the conclusion and the overall outcome. 5* for the series as a whole.
Hey ...Loved the story ... but ...84 1/2 page chapters ...come on !!! ( LOL ! )
This is the 3rd or4th time I have read this story. It would probable been more but those one page chapters really make me TIRED. I have enjoyed it though. thank you.
Wonderful story, totally loved the characters.
Hate to see it end, but sometimes it’s for the best.
Not sure what sort of (believable or enjoyable), trouble these two could get into.
Will be checking you other work.
To the best to you and yours.
Well done. Great editing. I enjoyed a different twist on revenge. I have a long one in the hopper, too, but far from finished. Besides being quite eloquent, you are very descriptive, and seriously smart. It's a breathe of fresh air. I thought your eloquence made this story easy to read, understand, and fantasize. Keep writing.
XYZ.
Took me 2 days reading ... better than continuous tv watching. Story, plot, characters ... this had it all. Enjoyed till the end. Great American Hero - Nerdism for all !
I say this with the preface that a) I loved this story and b) I don't write nearly as well so I recognize a limit on my right to complain. Having said that, given that the initial story (which was 6 pages) turned into 11 chapters, it would suggest that the 84 published chapters could have been consolidated into 7-10 chapters to improve the flow, and potentially highlight areas which could be edited to remove repetitive story concepts. I would also contend that given that these chapters appear to have been published nearly daily, it would suggest that the consolidation could have been done without markedly drawing out the time to each follow up (which I recognize may have been a consideration for those who were reading this in real time as it was published).