All Comments on 'Riches'

It was a great story, but it had a few problems. First, please get an editor. There were numerous grammatical errors, and sometimes even the wrong words. The errors really detract from the story. Lastly, I would like to see you tie up the loose string of what happened with Sam's family. Please fix these things and resubmit. Then it will be worth a 100.

Being a sucker for happy endings you've made me a happy reader indeed. I agree with Phoenix764, you've left a loose end that really nneds to be tied up. Ronnie W.

Mistermister - - -

I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I have to agree with Phoenix that the errors should not have been there, but I disagree that they detracted from the story.

I am one of those hopelessly romantic old farts that savors tales of those who overcome all manner of tribulations either for themselves or for someone else, and ultimately end of finding the greatest wealth of all, which is happiness.

As far as editing is concerned, I do believe I will set up an e-mail address where one can submit an item and have it returned to them all spiffed up and ready for the world to enjoy. You will be the first to learn of the address.

Take care, and welcome to the world of quality such as has been produced by Rabbitrunner (whom I miss), Mystery Writer, (whom I thnk has passed on), Telephoneman, and a few others.

The surprise? Finding that Ronnie W. is of the same area as myself, the Pacific Northwest. From where I live I can see the lights of Victoria, BC at night, across the Straits of Juan de Fuca.

Write on, Mistermister, write on.

Prof. Ramstein

However, an editor is always a writer's best friend. There are several here who volunteer. You've got a LOT of potential and I truly loved the tale, don't get me wrong.Please don't take this as a criticism of your creativity, just a suggestion so your work can shine even more.

aside from the mundane language things, it is a well told story, sweet.

i was a bit surprised, i kinda thought he would end up with 2 women, Samatha & Betty both. but this was more realistic.

i admire your ability to put a whole cheating wife & trial story compressed into that second paragraph, succinct writing!

The last line of the story says it all. Well done.

I thought he was starting to fall for betty before steph came along... they should have a threesome

What went missing in the story is that what happened to Samantha's father's threat. An awesome lose lose scenario changed in with some monetary and experience filled help from her grandmom would have added a spice to the ending.

A nice story, but you desperately need an editor. From experience, I can say an author can't edit their own work.

Around the end of the first page, it was blah blah blah. The character wasn't worth any sympathy, and I don't think empathy would cover the risk of having a person that would knowingly let the law punish an innocent person, despite his forgiveness. He probably just wanted to avoid more trouble. His life has been forever scarred, on lists, and now under continual threat by people that seek those on lists out to carry out "justice." That's about as bad on the retribution equivalence scale as ripping off somebody's arm and breaking their leg. Crippled short and long term.

This was besides the fact that the story was in dire need of the application of simple grammar rules. The voice on that is near unanimous.

Ultimately, the wrong princess was rescued. I've seen better from "Matt Morneau." This person is a physical, legal, and possibly emotional threat, while his stories usually are just humiliation fetish.