All Comments on 'Riverton Pt. 04'

a bit of a stretch the FBI/cops/DA all yakking away in front of him but otherwise a very enjoyable tale, well done

The stupid comments never seem to end but I hope they dont deter you from your next story

Thanks loads enjoyable short story

Jim

Just a quibble, but one of my pet peeves. What is removed from an auto-loading handgun is a 'MAGAZINE' not an f'ing 'clip'. It is one of those things you should know if you're using firearms in your stories.

You're in good company, though. Mystery novelist C.J. Box confused 'magazines' and 'clips' for the first 7 books in his series, before someone got to him and he finally started using the terms correctly in his 8th book.

but somehow I felt that at the end it missed a bit of emotion (like in Abby). Nevertheless, a very good story. Please continue with your quality work.

K.K. you have long been one of my favorite authors here, but this story is just not up to your usual standards. Too contrived. Unlikely coincidences. The bad guys and Tom ending up at the same farm house, the voice recorder surviving the blast and being cued up on the critical conversation when it would have been locked on record, etc, etc.

I'm looking forward to your next one.

I would like to read about more of their lives after the bad guys are no longer around. They are interesting enough to be written about under more tranquil times.

I guess that I just like your style and hope that we will see more of your work in the near future.

Had me on the Edge of my seat from Beginning to End.

and to Quibble about A Magazine or a "Clip".

unless you are totally a-nole it goes either way.

I liked it! Suspenseful till the end. It's a bit of a bummer that Holly's involvement in this story is just being the ex of a mob boss. I thought she was hiding a dark, terrible secret.

Then again, this secret was dark enough..

Anyway, good story.

I really enjoyed reading your story. A murder mystery with a happy ending.

Ebjoyed it very much, up to your usual fine standards......Keep writing! Hesdedjim

My only little quibble is it ended kind of rushed for me, but it was a well-crafted story with plenty of appropriate drama and emotion. It was good to see that Detective Olson would be keeping quiet about our hero's possible involvement with the house explosion.

The believability factor was stretched for the story's benefit - after all no one needed to kill the husband and Holly could simply have been taken out by a hit man with a silenced gun anywhere without the necessity of personal involvement by Big Tony. Following on from that was when an experienced (if low grade) mobster would himself want to fire a non-silenced gun in a hospital room. Maybe the idea was to show what idiots these minor Mafia were - but without that there wouldn't have been a story, or at least not the same story. These are only minor points and didn't detract from the overall suspense and excitement.

Glad you're back - thanks a bunch - more stories please.

I loved this story from PT 01 thru the end? Man what a writer you are, once I started reading I couldn't stop. Waiting on the next chapter was difficult. I loved it all the way

I was so enjoying your story the ending seemed a bit rushed.

Thank you for spending the time and effort to share your talents with us!

The guy has evolved into a pretty good mystery writer and is a pleasure to read. It is great to have some quality plots here now and then. One had to smile at the vanity plate name of "Techsan", who just happened to be K.K.'s editor before his untimely demise. That was a nice little tribute. Thanks again for all the work.

What happened to the bent cops, that were on the riverton police force

You never disappoint! What a pleasure it is to read your tales again. Thanks and please hurry back!

K.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

Oh, a mystery is just that. You get questions, you get some answers... some.

x

but definitly wrong place to publish. there are free policestory sites too. I found lots just when I googled. I can't see anything erotic in killing shooting, stabbing, explosions and so on.

Enjoyed the new story and especially the tribute to Techsan! That was a very nice touch. I would have liked an epilogue other than that no complaints. It's nice to have you back.

~S

Well written and executed. Bravo!

Very well done, K.K. Keep on writing.

A thing I've often wondering about when reading your stories is how you have been able to know so many areas of the USA in so much detail. I recall stories that took place primarily in southern California (Korean Town and then Vegas). Pennsylvania, Chicago-land, and, now, a little know city of 42,000 population in central Missouri. Are the details which you give on streets, buildings, railroad tracks and Parker Hill in Riverton accurate?

I hope that you continue to compose stories in the future much as you have done in past years.

A bit contrived with the lucky recorder, burial on a hill with fire ants saving him, lucky gas pipe accident... But still an outstanding tale with lots of suspense.

Really good job! Loved the "shorty" bit!

Thanks for an entertaining story. Hope that you do not stay away so long the next time! MissouriUSA

Good story with a great conclusion.

I do not often offer comments about other author's stories. Only once in a great while does a story, which is so compelling is posted that it requires comment. The Riverton saga is one of those stories. Riverton is a tale that keeps the reader on the edge of her or his seat from being to end. Well done in all aspect. I have for many years been a fan of K.K. and from the start he has provided and inspired readers with quality stories. I wish him the best and hope to see other tales in the near future.

That was a very good read. The only problem I had with the story was the 2 month wait between the gun incident and the shooting. Very, very minor. Thank you for this story. Also interesting are the comments...only 33% by anons. Must be the lowest ratio I have ever seen. Cheers. Jim

For some reason I can't log in so I will have to be an anon but it is jiminab

Easy to read and follow and a great ending.

KK, don't allow the nit-pickers and their ranting at all dissuade you from writing further. This was an excellent tale and, if you "stretched" it a bit (fleshed it out with a bit more detail and suspense) would make a fine full-fledged novel, suitable for publication!

Now, here's a bit of "rebuttal" for the critics and others.

With regard to procuring knowledge of specific geographic areas, there are a couple ways to do so. One, of course, is to either have lived there or visited there at some point in one's life. The other is Google Maps. There's a map of any city you can think of, and many of them have already been treated to street-level photography, so that you can actually see houses and other buildings. It's a great source of "location" information!

As for the "clip" business... The word, "magazine" has quite a number of definitions. It can mean a publication that issues periodically, such as "Time". It can be a place where munitions are stored, as at a military fort or on a warship. It CAN mean the removable container for bullets in some automatic weapons, but (mostly because of the fact that the synonym is far shorter) it commonly gets referred to as a "clip" because it "clips" into place in the weapon. Oh - a "magazine" can also be a department store, believe it or not. The largest department store in Moscow is known as "GUM", short for Gosudarstvennyi Universalnyi Magazin" - State Department Store (in the Soviet Era) and "Glavnyi Universalnyi Magazin" (Main Department Store) today.

So, go with "clip". The vast majority of authors do, whether it's "proper" English or not!

As for the hill in Riverton conveniently housing a big nest of fire-ants? That particular insect prefers dry soil to burrow in, and tends to place its nests on high ground, where possible, just so that the nests do not get flooded out when it rains.

"Curiousss" suggests that there was no need for Big Tony to kill both Holly AND Tom - that taking out Holly would have sufficed

You can tamper with her brakes, and hope that she has a fatal accident. But, even if she dies, there is a good chance that a forensic mechanic at the Crime Lab will find the evidence of tampering. Then you've got an investigation.

Just about any other way of trying to take just Holly out of the picture has its own similar drawbacks, which will cause the police to open an investigation into the matter.

A murder-suicide, however, is typically the sort of case that police wrap up rather quickly. Even if they can't really figure out what sent the husband over the edge, they don't really "have" to, if the scene is staged well enough.

In this story, if Big Tony didn't want any investigation into Holly's death, the murder-suicide angle is the best way to pull it off!

I thought this story was riveting. I also very much liked the Brodricksburg story.

I have read all of K.K.'s great stories.But somehow missed this one! and only found it by reading the Feedback Portal.

Fab writer, and always a great read. would have given more stars if there were any.

Good little tale. Too much more would have been okay with me, but somebody else would have complained that it was too long. So it was just right!

good story. but why have you stopped writing. pray that you are well and will write once again. THANK YOU

... Actually a very good story but certainly one much better suited for the "Non-erotic" category.

the bitch had better make it up to him properly. two to three times a day sex would do. the poor bastsrd had to run around like a fucking fugitive just because his goddamn wife wouldnt tell him the truth. damn, nice story k.k.

The characters were fantastic the scenes flowed expertly and the story couldn't get much better.

Good storyline, very well written. Most of the characters seemed real except perhaps a couple of the crims. You continued to build nicely as the story flowed well from one crisis to another. A very clever murder mystery, not erotic but that's ok, I really enjoyed it. 5*****

The main characters were extremely lovable and naive. The criminals were almost cartoonist and super dumb. The story had highly predictable segments but was extraordinary in buildup of drama at times. There were a few loose ends for example: who were the cops on the take? And.... what happened to them? This story definitely could use an epilogue to tie up the readers (like me) interests in the outcomes of the characters. For example: a substantial reward for bringing down the suspects and solving outstanding crimes. All in all an outstanding first rate entertaining piece and fun read. Thank you. Oh 5*!!

Good riddance don't come back.

Could you at least make SOME sort of actual criticism?

Just what didn't you like about this story?

Actually a very good suspense story.

Because of her lying, he should of divorced and left her. She almost got them both killed because of not telling him the truth. What's she going to do next, kill him herself?

Thanks and please, more!!!

Lonewolf said it as well as I could, but I'll kick it to a 5*, because few stories can match the breadth, depth and passion. Past lives and new, wimp/hero, stupid lawyer/heroic wife, the good guys live, and the bad guys are dealt with permanently; am I missing anything?

The author needs to explain why he posted a mystery story in this category, or for that matter on this site. Not very honest on the part of the author.

Well written mystery. Good character development

That was Fantastic!...Loved it...Some people say it's in the wrong section of Literotica??..Well with a call sign of....KK....It could be King Kong.....Or KKK...With budget cuts it's KK now.....Shoott I don't know Why!....Maybe more readers in this column?

5 Stars★★★★★ WOOF!

What a great little story. It kept me interested to the wrap up. It belongs in LW more than any cuckold story because Holly was at least a loving wife.

Interesting crime story with a Loving Wife included. Nice read.

I enjoyed your story very much. Thank you.

Come to Oregon County Missouri and see if you can get involved with gangsters and shootings

Excellent, through and through!

Well that wrapped it all up nicely. This was serious, but also funny, A great series.

Thank you that was a great read. Well written and good entertainment. Late to the party on this one but definitely working through your other works now. 5*

Good ending. Some of the author's other mystery stories are better. Brodericksburg for example. Of the Fall and Rise of David Beckman. But was still enjoyable.