Robert & Margaret

I decided then and there Margaret would never hurt me like that ever again. To make sure of it, I stopped loving her so much. I would love her enough to stay married to her, but never again enough to be hurt like that. I guess that was the day I stopped loving Margaret, something I could never imagine happening before. But I have to wonder to this day if Margaret ever really loved me.

I stopped sending her money. It didn't take long until she put the house on the market and finally joined me and the kids in Texas. I still loved her a little, but guardedly. I never allowed myself to love her too much again.

I got her away from Jimmy but it wasn't over. She kept in touch with Jimmy's friends, Frank and Marie. When I asked her what she had their address in our address book for, she got angry and said they were our friends. I knew them, but I never considered them as our friends. I knew exactly why she had their address, because they were very good friends with Jimmy and she could keep tabs on her boyfriend through them. I wonder if Margaret knew Jimmy was balling Marie while Frank was on the road. Frank drove truck for a week at a time. I wonder if Frank knew. Anyway, I knew it wasn't over between Jimmy and Margaret.

In Texas, Margaret seemed to withdraw from me completely, like she was there begrudgingly. She would never accompany me anywhere to any of my playing jobs or music happenings. I began playing music with some of the top musicians in Texas including some big names. It didn't impress Margaret though. She would rather sit and knit while I was out playing a job. I stayed out after the job was over and did play around a little bit then. I didn't want to play around really, and begged her to go with me so we could party together. The kids were all grown, the oldest was even married, so there was no logical reason why Margaret had to stay home. But she was a stubborn ass again and would not give in. The only place I could get her to go with me was out to dinner. Our marriage had become a platonic relationship with benefits now and again.

Troubles arose in time; work became slow and I had to take a drastic cut in pay doing the same job. The band I was with broke up and I got the feeling that once again my life had turned to shit. So, looking for greener grass, I decided to give Florida a try once again.

I left my platonic relationship in Texas, went to Florida and found good work there. It felt kind of good to be back home again, though it wasn't the same place I was before. I was basically a good boy but did play around a little bit. Notice I said played around, meaning one night stands and such, never in an affair with emotional entanglements. I was still a married man and honored my commitment, though still a swinger at heart. Judge me if you want to, I told you I wasn't going to whitewash anything.

I began to clean up my act after a while in Florida and even started going to church. Margaret joined me then in Florida but was her same old self. She lived in her world while I lived in mine, we just slept in the same bed together. When I say slept, I mean slept.

Remember I told you Margaret stayed in touch with Frank and Marie? Well, they had moved to Florida too, and for that matter, Jimmy had moved to Florida after divorcing his wife Diane in NJ also. Talk about fate, Jimmy had an apartment a mile or so down the road from where I was living. I'm sorry, that's too much of a coincidence to just happen that way. It took a bit of planning for that to happen. Fate had a little help I'm sure.

I started playing in a Gospel band and would go and practice with them every Thursday night. I would be gone four or five hours that night, plenty enough time for Jimmy and Margaret to get together and do whatever they wanted to do. At first there were no signs that anything was going on. Then she began to get home later than I did, whether accidentally or not, I can't say. I didn't know until much later how close Jimmy was to us. I would ask Margaret where she was when ever it happened, which was increasingly more often, and she would just say, "out." Then one night she stayed out all night on a Saturday night and finally came home just in time for me to take the car and go to church. I knew what she had been doing staying out all night, but as yet had no idea Jimmy was even around. You don't think Margaret would ever tell me that, do you, after going to so much trouble to set it all up secretly. I just thought she had met someone at her work.

This went on for quite a few months, almost a year, I guess. Then I came home on our thirty-first wedding anniversary and found a note on the kitchen table that read. "Goodbye, I'll be back to pick up the rest of my things later on." She didn't even sign it, just took everything she wanted and moved out of my house and into his the same day. I'm sure he was there to help. I know the beady eyed snake put her up to most of it, the dirty bastard, because I can't imagine Margaret doing all that on her own.

I was served with divorce papers about a year later, not knowing where she was but I did figure out who she was with. Good ol' Jimmy. They even had the gall to get married on the same day as our anniversary. Talk about an evil snake in the grass. Six months later the beady eyed snake had a stroke and could no longer play music. I guess there is such a thing as karma. He steadily went down hill from then on and was dead ten years later. But he was the winner, boy. I wonder if he can celebrate that where he's at now?

Margaret is still living in her trailer in Florida, I suppose alone but that's questionable, knowing her. I'm living in Texas now with two of my daughters. There was a time when I would have forgiven her and taken her back if she'd have shown remorse for what she had done to me and asked me if she could come back.. Well, she never did and I suppose she never will. Anyway it's too late for that now. Hey, if you run across Margaret in Florida, tell her I said:

"HAVE A NICE LIFE, BITCH!"