All Comments on 'Roommates'

More. Good character development. How about a threesome with Suzy? Build on what you have.

This story definitely needs to be developed further. You have very good character development, and a great chance to explore romance between Ned & Kelsey. Suzie is also a wildcard that could be explored. Keep up the good work!!!

You're obviously only part way through this story. You need to deepen both Ned and Kelsey's relationship and to establish where he and she want the relationship to go, and why. Something else that needs to be explored is what he does for a living. Where is he going and what does he do during his absences? There is also just a little bit of Bluebeard about that locked study, if you choose to move things that way.

Suzie is clearly a wild card you might or might not want to play. I can see her trying to steal Ned out from under Kelsey; but then again, I can see her moving in with the two of them as well. Lots of possibilities there.

You have several directions you could go with this story. I look forward to seeing which you finally choose.