Sailing Onto The Rocks - Sequel

By then Vicki and I were seeing each other every night and neither of us was lonely now; our nights were filled with loving caresses and touches and love; she had virtually moved in with me. Her family had accepted me quickly as her new partner and we behaved like young lovers at times. Vicki was prepared to put up with knowing that deep down I still loved Milly but she realized that was disappearing a little more every day. I knew she missed her husband as well and still loved him so we were prepared to put up with that. We had each other and were never lonely.

Vicki would go for a jog every morning and would wake me up every time to see if I wanted to go with her. I tried it once and told her she was trying to kill me and she laughed saying she was going to do that in bed to me one night anyway. Of course I told her I preferred the "bed" option and at times I wondered if she was trying to. After that I declined the run but always had breakfast ready for her return.

One morning about three months after my divorce she didn't come home from her run. I waited and waited as our breakfast went cold and then I heard multiple sirens breaking the silence and coming to a stop about a mile away. Surely it couldn't be happening but I knew something must have been dreadfully wrong as she was never late and you could set your watch by her every morning. I raced to my car and drove like a madman to find the emergency vehicles knowing in my heart there was a very good chance it could lead me to Vicki. A policeman stopped me; I could see an accident up at the intersection ahead. Firemen and para-medics were working at the side of a large van that rolled on its side on the footpath.

I left my car there and handed the policeman my keys as I raced past him; I think he knew why I was running as he bit his lip and lowered his head. I pushed my way through the onlookers who had crowded around to see what was happening when suddenly there on the ground in front of me was Vicki; she had been hit by the van and thrown and then as it rolled she was pinned underneath it; the other vehicle was across the road.

I could see so much blood everywhere and knew she was bleeding very badly. I heard talk they were waiting for a mobile crane to lift the truck clear. I looked at one of the para-medics who had been working on her; she called my name when she saw me there; he just bit his lip and shook his head slowly. I dropped to the blood covered ground next to her and as I lowered myself so I could be close to her I slipped my arm under her head.

I held her and told her, "I love you and I'm going to make an honest woman out of you. Will you marry me Vicki?" She must have known she was dying and with great difficulty said, "Ben that would be bigamy cos my husband is waiting for me. I'll be with him again shortly." I was crying as she whispered to me, "Please forgive me. I have been so selfish all these months keeping you to myself. I have to go. You have to promise that you will find Milly and look after her for me. She really did love you more than anything and still does. She has no one and I have been slipping down town to see her every week and giving her money. She is in a bad way and confessed to me that she finally realized she was stupid to listen to Donna. She truly regrets what she did and had been convinced it would make your marriage stronger. In the end she understood the pain you suffered and was full of remorse." I answered, "Vicki, there's nothing to forgive. You've my promise I will. I love you." Then she gave a little smile and closed her eyes and as I kissed her lips as she stopped breathing.

I wasn't in her will but that was OK and although we were living in a common law marriage by then I didn't contest it; we had never changed them. Anyway, she was now with the man she truly loved. Her family was good to me and included me in the celebration of her life. Through her family I found out why she had felt what she did for Milly; she had done a similar thing to her husband many years before but they had worked it out after all the pain and the hurt. Strangely for them, it had made their marriage stronger after all the anger was gone. I took compassionate leave and it was a few days before I went out again. I really missed Vicki and her laughter and became very misty eyed when I thought of her last few seconds and what she had said to me. I felt a big hole in my heart and I thought about Milly and how much I had missed her and how I missed Vicki as well.

I am not sure why or how but I found myself driving through town and was stopped at a set of traffic lights. Something made me look to my left and I saw what looked to be an old bag lady making her way down the street. Her walk looked so familiar then I realized it was Milly. She had lost so much more weight and she arms were covered in bruises and she had black eyes. The sleeve on her old dress was ripped and people were walking around her to avoid her. The lights changed and the car behind honked me so I drove on but I turned down the next street on my left and waited for her.

I watched her approach and she kept looking behind her as if worried she was being followed. I got out of my car and realized she hadn't seen me and I pretended to bump into her on the corner but then I had to catch her to stop her falling over as she was so weak. As she fell she looked up and saw me and burst into tears; I saw the sparkle in her eyes was gone. She was dirty and unwashed and I doubted she had been at the women's shelter where she was supposed to be staying for quite some days. I helped her stand and led her to my car. At first she resisted but was too weak to stop me putting her in to the passenger side then I went around and sat in my seat. I turned to see her watching me.

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes then I said, "Did you know Vicki was dead?" She answered, "No." Then she burst into tears. I suggested we go for a hot chocolate as I knew it was her favourite drink. She refused to come into the cafe with me; I think she was too embarrassed; she did smell a bit; well a lot actually. I went in alone and ordered the chocolate drinks in take-away cups and some toasted ham, cheese and tomato sandwiches as well as some hot fries; she used to love them as well. I was planning on driving somewhere quiet and eating with her but by the time we got there she had finished everything; she was starving.

When she had finished eating she sat quietly for a few minutes then I asked what had happened to her. She hung her head and said, "I'm so sorry now I told everyone all those lies about you. I tricked them into phoning you hoping you would feel guilty and take me back but that backfired on me. I never thought you would that to me; I didn't think what I did would hurt you so much. As much as I still love you I know we are finished now and I deserved everything you did by pinning those photos up at church. I'm so sorry; I destroyed your love and trust in me didn't I? I was so selfish and thinking of my own pleasure and I convinced myself it would spice things up for us even after you warned me." I stayed quiet; this was the remorse I wanted after the cruise.

She said nothing for a few more minutes as she sat they and just looked at me then continued, "Vicki was my only friend for such a long time; I wondered why she didn't come to see me these last few weeks and I thought I had lost her as well. She helped me out with some money every week and gave me whatever she could spare. I never even thought you would be so deeply hurt by what I did; I had no idea until she told me. I just thought you wanted to get back at me for what I had done by divorcing me. She even mentioned how I had changed you and how difficult you were to live with now. I was sad when she told me she was with you but in a way I was happy that you had some nice company and weren't lonely without me. I used to walk past our house at nights just to see you again all the time. Nearly every time I would watch you both laughing and talking as you held each other just doing what we used to do; it should have been me with you. I still can't believe I really hurt you so much; I loved you more than anything and I hurt you so badly; then I hurt you again and didn't realize it. No wonder you divorced me. When all my friends found out the truth what I had done they refused to have anything more to do with me. Even they told me I had been so selfish and stupid doing what I did then wanting more. It took me a while to realize you tried to stop me. Ben, I'm so sorry for everything I have done."

She started talking about how horrible her life had become and how she had been repeatedly robbed and even the money from the divorce was stolen from her. She went on and told me how she got her bruises and black eyes when she had tried to save what few belongings she had left when she was attacked at the shelter earlier in the week. She was kicked out because she was fighting and hadn't slept for days because she was so scared they were following her to beat her up again. We just sat there for a while and said nothing; I was deep in thought. She must have felt safe with me and she fell into a deep sleep. I knew part of me still loved her and I drove home and carried her to our bed; did I say our?

Her clothes stank and were dirty so I cut them off her; they didn't fit her anyway. I saw what had become of her beautiful body; she now looked older than she was; her time in exile had been hard on her. I looked at her body; I was saddened to see the changes; her legs were skinny and her were boobs were sagging; she definitely had lost far too much weight and her ribs stuck out. I covered her with a sheet then looked in the wardrobe for clothes that might fit her that Vicki had left; I couldn't bear to remove them when she had died. With the weight she had lost Milly was now about the same size Vicki was; maybe smaller.

I turned on the bath taps then went down stairs so I didn't wake her when I phoned the doctors rooms to make an appointment; Milly needed a complete physical and more blood tests just in case; she was in a bad way. I was just hanging up when I heard her scream out my name. I raced to the bedroom and she was sitting up crying. I hugged her trying to calm her down and she said, "When I woke up you weren't here and I thought I had just dreamed about you again and you were gone. Ben, I'm so sorry." I pulled the sheet off her and she realized she was naked and tried to hide herself with her hands. I pulled her to the bathroom and made her get into the hot bath and helped her wash herself. She took forever as she slowly washed her hair.

I let her soak in the bath as I made us some lunch. She soon came downstairs slowly looking for me; she was dripping wet and naked. I looked at her for a moment then she said quietly, "I just wanted to make sure you were still here." Then she turned around and went back and dried herself and her hair. Vicki's clothes were still a bit big for her but that was the best I could do at the time; she certainly didn't fit any of her old clothes that I had bagged during her weekend away; I had brought home what was left in Vicki's garage. We sat and ate and then for no reason she said, "Ben, I haven't let anyone touch me since then. I was saving myself just in case; you know?" I just nodded as I wondered if she was telling me she was available to me. Could I trust her even if I wanted to take advantage of her?

We finished eating and we had to hurry as we had an appointment. She was reluctant to go into the doctor's office with me then I realized he went to the church she used to go to and would have seen her photos. As he poked and probed and took blood samples for testing he asked if we were back together and I just shrugged; I honestly didn't know; deep down I think I did; so I said nothing. He didn't tell us anything we didn't know then he told us the results for the STD's tests would be back in a week.

Milly looked stunned and turned to me and complained, "But Ben, I told you I hadn't ..." I interrupted her and said, "Milly, It's all about trust." She knew she had destroyed mine in her and her lowered her head; besides I didn't know if she had taken her medication properly when she had the clap but I didn't say that. Then I added, "I'll get the tests done as well because Vicki and I were together." I saw some tears but she said nothing.

Milly was very quiet again as she slowly absorbed what I had said; I think she hoped I had taken her back unconditionally; she now realized she had a long way to go and she remembered what Vicki had told her about my demons she had released and how I had changed. We drove to her old hairdresser; luckily they we able to fit her in and they did wonders with her hair and got rid of the grey as well; she looked more like the Milly of old. Then it was off to the mall for some clothes; she only had what Vicki had left in my wardrobe and they didn't really fit her. We didn't buy a lot as I hoped Milly would put some weight on once she started eating properly again.

Once home we sat watching television and I went to the basement to get a bottle of wine to drink while we waited for dinner to cook. I turned the phone tap and the video cameras back on again and picked a nice red. I really did want to trust her again but I knew it was going to be a long haul for me; I had been badly hurt. We sat on the lounge watching a DVD together and she snuggled into to me and I heard her crying quietly to herself. I didn't want to see her hurt again; my revenge was complete; I wanted her to stay but I didn't know how to approach it. Maybe we would have to date again like we did a lifetime ago.

Then I had another idea and after a while I said, "Milly, I need a live in housekeeper. I cannot afford much after our divorce...." I heard a sob when I said the "D" word and then I continued, "We can see if we can get on again and see what happens from there eh?" She said nothing for a while then finally answered, "Where will I sleep?" I hadn't thought that far ahead so thought I would answer a question with a question, "Where do you want to sleep?" She must have already decided and answered hopefully, "With you if you let me, please Ben?" My demons were still at large and I had my concerns about STD's and responded, "How about the guest room until the test results come back for both of us and if they are clear you can sleep with me again?" She was just beginning to realise how much I had changed like Vicki had said; she wondered how she would ever regain my trust or maybe it was like our marriage, a thing of the past.

Things were very quiet for the first week as we started the long road back to what we had lost. Milly was up very early every day and made breakfast for me before I was off to work. She was still weak but seemed to be getting stronger every day as she cleaned and polished everything in the house that she knew so well; she hadn't taken anything after the divorce. She was happy though; she was back in our house and she could snuggle up to me while we watched television; I knew that was important to her. Best of all she was eating properly again. When I came home every day I stopped and said hello and held her for a moment then disappeared down into my basement workshop like I had done for the few weeks before that weekend. I was obsessed and had to check on her; at the time I couldn't help myself.

We returned to the Doctor's for the results of the tests and I watched Milly's eyes light up when we were both told we were clean. Milly couldn't wait to move back to our bed and had moved what few clothes she had and what fitted her from Vicki back into her old wardrobe. At first she used one of Vicki's nighties but I still slept naked and I realised I couldn't bear make love to her so I didn't but I woke every morning to find her naked and snuggled in so close and her arm over me holding me.

For the first time in many months I was sleeping soundly; her smell was back in my pillows and she felt so nice; a bit bony but still it was enough for my cock to harden but she didn't try to initiate anything; I discovered later that she didn't in case I thought she had become a whore or perhaps it was another mercy fuck that she knew I hated with a passion. I soon realized she would not leave the house by herself even during the day; she told me she was too embarrassed as everyone knew what she had done and many of her friends had seen the photo of her; I had been too thorough in my quest for my pound of flesh. Did I regret what I had done? Maybe, but I knew I did what I had to do at the time to destroy them; I couldn't let them win. Besides I was making up for what Shylock had been cheated out of.

We were sitting together watching television one night about a month after she returned home and I realized I had never really lost my love for her; it had always been there. I put my arm around her lovingly for the first time in what seemed like forever and I pulled her in close and she snuggled tightly into me. I heard her crying softly as she knew I had overcome another one of my barriers. I told her that I had really missed her and our old life while she had been away. Then I added that I wondered if it was finished now and I had accepted it may never be the same again after what happened.

She was crying louder now and confessed she had hoped and prayed since it had happened that we would get back together and she had never stopped loving me. I explained that we were both different now after what she had done and if we were going to have any hope of proper reconciliation maybe we should consider marriage counselling. Perhaps I shouldn't have said 'marriage' as she lifted her face to kiss me on the lips. I just shook my head and turned away; all I could think about was the photo I saw with a cock in her mouth. I knew I had problems; maybe I needed the help more than she did.

I didn't think I still would've been so badly affected and was really concerned so I extracted myself from her arms and told her I was tired and going to bed. The bedroom light was turned off and I lay in the bed trying to go the sleep. Every time I shut my eyes I could see her fucking Eric and Theo all over again; I don't know when I drifted off but another night of nightmares descended on me. I woke with a start but I remembered my dream; I had been standing there next to her as she had been fucking Eric and I was screaming at her, pleading her not to fuck him. I must have yelled it in my sleep and Milly was lying there next to me watching me; she was still crying. I felt bad that I had woken her up; I told her so. She told me it was 2 am and she had not been to sleep and that I had been yelling out to her all night in my nightmares and I realized she had heard me and what I was saying.

I head was filled with mixed emotions. I got out of bed and went across to the guest room and dropped onto the bed. Shortly after I rolled over to see Milly had followed me into the room and had stopped at the door watching me. She approached the bed and knelt on the edge and bent over and took my limp cock in her mouth. Part of me wanted to push her away and I wondered if I had done to right thing bringing her home. But her mouth felt so good on my hardening cock. I remembered how she used to give me blow jobs so many years ago and this was the same; if she tried something new I told myself I would have stopped her.

It didn't take her long and she had me rock hard and then she stopped and without saying a word straddled my hips and drove my cock into her pussy. She gasped and closed her eyes and gritted her teeth and I could see it hurt her; was this her penance she wanted to pay? The pain? She was looking at me as she started to ride my cock up and down. She was still dry and the only lubrication was my pre-cum. She kept gritting her teeth as it must have been hurting her until she began to get very wet. It had been a while for me but even much longer for Milly. I watched her as she closed her eyes; she still had her teeth clinched together but there was a sort of smile on her face developing and I knew she was starting to enjoy it.