by Cat5
and was impressed with the 800 and some votes. So I just had to read it. It's well worth the votes and the score. Great job.
I've read this story over and over again. Wish I could find a sweet sensitive guy like that.
Kind of new here and only read about a dozen other submissions. I was just looking for some porno comparable to Penthouse Forum. BUT this warmed me all over and not just my... Anyway really gr8 reading vivid exciting!
stories I've seen in a long time! Wonderfully well written, warm and emotional. Bravo!
This is a truly beautiful story of fun, kindness and love. I really enjoyed it. Thank you!
Nookiehunter
I truly enjoyed this story...I like thte way that Phil loved Holly...WildWildBest
Cat5,
I have read this story many times (8, 10, 12?) since you wrote it and I still works. Then I read through the comments and I have to say that if Executive Gent, Ronnie W, Rpsuch, and a few really talented authors like your work that much, I won't say much. This could easily be the best story on the site!
Thanks and I look forward to more.
I think it's ten times I've read "Sales Team" and each time I get great pleasure from reading/re-reading it. It is a really nice take on the "rags to riches" theme and has 2 likeable characters. Thank you, Cat5, for this pleasure
^_^ You're story was cute. It seemed to be a little to "perfect" in the story line and there were many parts I wish you had gone into detail or explained better. Like the salesman ship part in the beginning. At first I thought he might be a used car salesman or something. I dunno. And the whole sex thing... lacked passion and seemed unrealistic. Most women don't have instant cums or just take a few strokes and licks to get us off or begging for cock. For the most part and over all plot it was cute and you could defintely work on it to... as they say "thicken the stew". Hey tho, I'm not a great writer either but that's why I haven't uploaded any to the web because I know they're not good enough yet.
Absolutely great! Just fantastic! Great piece of literature. I was feeling kinda down before I read this, now I'm feeling all warm inside. Thanks!
I've read this story 2 or 3 times before but never left a comment. I believe this is your best story and one of best posted on this site.
Boyd
Comments hell, it was heartrending and sexy and sensual and great.
OK! Chick Flick story narrated by a guy and it still sold this mature male.
Thank you for such a great read and emotions.
Excellent endeavor, Cat5. This is one of the best stories I have read on this site. It would be a shame if you did not continue to develop your writing talents and perhaps persue a career in writing.
Best wishes!
It is strange that some might think that this is a little too perfect. Why should it be Holly that is too perfect when in fact it might be Phil. Maybe Phil should have a little stumble or maybe we should just let a good story stay a good story. It was nice to see a mix of intellect, with a few values and a thoughtful respect shared by two people slotted between a little humour and some erotic play. An enjoyable story… well done.
Matt64
It was very nice story. Just one nit-pick: After he mentioned his condoms that were in his bedroom, and decided it was maybe even a good thing if she noticed them, when the two actually made love in his bedroom, there was no mention of them. This was also a problem because the romantic setup and his obvious concern and care for her well being were somewhat contradicted. It was also obvious she was not on any other form of birth control, since she had no money, no doctor, no prescription in that State, not the slightest suggestion of anything like that. I realize that erotic fiction usually doesn't bother with this stuff, which is fine, but the fact that the condoms got mentioned sort of raised the issue in my mind. I figured the girl would be pregnant before the wedding.
This is a great story and I loved how the relationship was developed with Holly.
I read it a couple of times when it first came out and I really liked it. I saw it when I was looking at some of your other submissions and decided to read it again to see if it lost anything. Nope--it moves and tells a good story and it still tugs at the ol' heart strings at the end. Guess I have a liking for the 'Knight Protector' thing.
Great job. JimDinMN
This was great writting and a joy to read. I look forward to more. Thank you.
intellegence is the sexiest thing about a woman - and it lasts
I'd give this a 90 if I could rather than 100. It's a good story, and other comments before mine express this well, so I won't repeat the merits. The problem I have is both Phil and especially Holly are a little too perfect. It seems that Holly, despite her own former problems and self-doubts, can do no wrong. It would have been interesting to have a small stumble of some kind to balance her a little bit -- perhaps she could have thought she found two software problems instead of one, and while one was a real problem the other was simply a misunderstanding of how a feature worked, which Phil could explain. It is a charming story though. I hope my slight criticism is taken in the right spirit, as I really do like the story.
Iloved the way you let Holly's emotions waver and build into a confident person. It's rare to see that kind of character developement in real novels let alone short stories. This was romance with a "R" and a Roaring approval from those of us who took the time to read and enjoy.
Thanks for writing. JimDinMN
I have just read this work, it is stunning, I am so sorry that you didn't win. I loved it, I don't understand how it didn't knock my work into oblivion.
Thank you for taking the time to share this with us, it was a privilege to read it and I hope to read a lot more of your submissions in the near future.
Very best wishes
Executive Gent
This story was MUCH better than the first place winner. In fact, it was probably the best story I've read at this site.
Just excellent.
If you don't have your work published as yet, please do try and get it out. Your work is a lot better than most of the fluff out in print in the name of romance novels.
Very sweet and well-written. This would actually make a good mini-series or chick flick.
Awesome story! You put me in the story. I felt like a fly on the wall watching the whole situation develope. You should think about teaching or really publishing your work. Just release a Harlon Ellison type thing of numerous short stories and compilations. Keep it up!
Warm Regards
Michael
Very sweet love story. Touching. I found myself rooting for them as their relationship progressed. Thanks.
This is the kind of love story that everyone likes to read. You always like to see good things happen to people who do and say the right things. This story line settled close to my heart and just made for the kind of reading that I find so warming and touching. Guess I'm just a touchy - feely kind of guy.....Great story.
An outstanding story that mixes professional collaboration with physical satisfaction. Like foreplay, it lingers on primary details, taking its time leading up to the anticipated climax.
I'm glad I stumbled on Salamis' comment. If he says it's good, I know it will be and I was delighted to read it. The reaction of the readership again confirms for me how many people here appreciate a story rather than a list of anatomical connections. Conflict is always helpful but clearly well-drawn appealing characters can carry a story.
I am always left feeling good after reading one of your stories, and this one was no exception. These are two of your most endearing characters. Normally, I expect a story to have some conflict to overcome, some challenge to act as the obstacle. Your stories lack those elements and still manage to keep my interest and enjoyment. Thank you.
When you feel wonderful after you read a story, you know the writer did a first rate job. This story has everything, romance, loving prople, great plot and happy ending.No wimps, no brutality,no rape etc. What a breath of fresh air. Thanks for writing this refreshing loveable story. 60 year old George
A great story from a very good writter. I can't wait to read more of your stuff in the future. I enjoyed this
heart feel good that all the comments have been raves about you and the story and not about some nit picking item within the story. It is a wonderful story by a really good writer.
Wonderful read, with just the right mix of romance and real life to make it more than just a story, but a drama that draws you into the characters and their lives. I hope you write more about them, and, for only the second time on literotica, find myself sincerely urging a writer to consider doing a full length book version of the story.
What you do is craft a great story. You take your time to develop the story plot line and the characters. Finally you make the story so interesting that it sucks you into it. You have to read it to the end, you simply can't put it down. Congratulations on your use of a very rare gift. Ronnie W.
This is the only submission I chose to read twice. I found it amazingly good the first time.
But
When I chose to read it again, the same day, the final chapter had changed. Why? Part of what made it special (screw the friggin' food related details), was gone.
Gotta tell you, disappointed.
Hope it is corrected. Cause if this was done due to culinary discrepancies, the author really, really messed up on the deletion.
I enjoyed Sales Team so much I am hoping you would continue the story.
Tobi
Simply OUTSTANDING! Character and relationship development - what a concept - a slice o' life as we all wish it could be.
(Hands over a beer and a pat on the back...) Keep up the very good work!
Cat5 has been on my 'favorites' list from the beginning. Each new Cat5 story reaffirms what I already knew: that this is the top romance author on Literotica.
"Sales Team" was just a wonderful story, full of romance, hope and love. I would say it's Cat5's best story, except for all those other masterpieces previously posted.
Cat5's stories are never maudlin, soapy, or sappy. They are honest, well-written, sensual and heartwarming.
"Sales Team" is one I'll read and read again.
You did an excellent job of building up the characters, their backgrounds and their relationship.
A fine story.
Well done!
Once more you have outdone yourself. I have to disagree with the comments of one responder comparing you with some of the better authors on this site. You are a step above them.
P.S. Doesn't it bother you making grown men like me cry?
What a fantastic story. Well written and presented with just the right mixture of believable aspects and fantasy dreams.
very well done indeed
The detail expressed in this story makes one believe it's true. Easily the best story I've read in a long time.
Thanks
Cat5 - - - SALES TEAM has placed you in the same class as Rabbitrunner, Moondrift, Ronde, Mystery Writer, Telephone Man and a few others. The positive aspects of creating a work descriptive of being a decent human being willing to give others respect, opportunity, and responsibility in a world where all too many just go for the gusto, are the earmarks of a gifted author. Please accept my welcome into a small circle of favorite contributors. I hope to read more of your efforts of this ilk in the future. You gave me a pleasant Tuesday. Prof Ramstein
Excellent writing and story telling...wonderful combination of compassion, caring, understanding and romance...VERY tasteful and enjoyable treatment of the sensual aspects of the story.
Look forward to reading other stories of yours...keep writing.
Excellent writing and story telling...wonderful combination of compassion, caring, understanding and romance...VERY tasteful and enjoyable treatment of the sensual aspects of the story.
Look forward to reading other stories of yours...keep writing.
You have the true gift of a writer...plot, character, style. and the ability to keep your reader entertained. The sex was almost secondary to the story, yet done in the taste that was typical of the rest of the story.
This is the first time I have ever commented...keep up the fine work!! I look forward to reading more of your submissions.
A truely fantastic story, with all the elements that make up romance. The only thing you forgot was where the engagement ring was - on the dessert? Please keep writing stories like this.
This probably the best story I read on this site in the four years I been here. Keep writing great stories with the great gift you been bless with.
The story deserves a 5X the the 5 rating.
This is the classiest story I have read to date and deserves kudos on the 5X level.
Great restraint in development of the characters.
Please do more of this type.
It was like wandering through the rank sewage and crap and then suddenly finding a diamond shining through the muck. Thank you for the wonderful diamond you have given us.
Wonderful story. Romantic. Warm. Fuzzy. Made me feel good. Glad to see his restraint at the beginning. That allowed the relationship to grow.
The writing matches the cookery and the burgeoning love - first rate. I hope you are considering, or are already in, a literary career. You have the talent.
But I have the same feeling of something missing between "...special desert Mary." and him asking Holly to marry him. The special dessert being an engagement ring is a cup of ice cream or something of that nature? Any way, it was a very nice story and there should be a follow up, perhaps with the meeting in Maui.
J.
I agree with the other comments, the story was well developed and a joy to read. Just enough "heat" to make it good. Nice to hear something positive about society these days.
A great story line and well developed. Definately worthy of a follow-up.
It is great to think there is someone kind and helpful to someone in dire need of help. Plus, it's a really good story of budding and blooming love.
It's not such a bad idea about the team concept, either. Info tech [developement] might like it!
Great story with a great ending.
Who knows what Brule is anyway!
And, the error appears to have been rectified. It was creme brule! Your stories, for the most part, provide welcome relief from much of the abusive, emotional or physical, stroke stuff posted on this site.
Thank you.
a nice sweet story of romance.
but at the very end i think something was deleted - the special dessert. it feels like a paragraph or 2 was dropped by accident.
as far as the characters, i don't know how well a relationship built mainly on guilt or gratitude would hold up over time. but it seems to be growing into more than that.