All Comments on 'Sarah Is Unsatisfied'

It read like a shopping list. And then this happened, and then this happened, buy mayonaise, buy bread ect ect. It needed some editing because you also kept using the same words too many times. Also, and this is purely personal, I hated some of the words you used. A prime example being

"Munching on her oozing pussy."

Pah-leeze, could that be any less sexy???

I thought you have a good sttory but your not checking your spelling you have in one you hoped on to the table instead of hopped and your using meter instead of inches like you She leapt off his cock and bucked spraying a jet of her cum a meter forced across Gina's face and tits.

you neede to wactch where your puting your words in place .

also i think your husband was neglecting your beautiful body for someone at the office so dont feel your cheating on him when he stormed out of the house when he caught you getting some dessert from the neighbors if i had a wife as good looking as you i would never leave you unsatisfied like that.

Pat Murray

More like a 15 year old boy jerking off to a fantasy about his chesty neighbor

Ok, most loving wives are so shallow that you can walk through and keep your toenails dry, but some characterisation would be good. I went back to 'episode 1' and found little characterisation to build the heroine's actions on.

And the Plot.. I agree with previous that this was too much Step 1... Step 2...

The 10 year hiatus in her story, no kids?, And why no mention of development of their relationship no deeper trust and no further 'action' with husband/boss and especially no 'Mental bonding'?.

One of the reasons 'Loving Wives' is different from merely 'Erotic Couplings' is the mental attachment between the pair, and the expectations that derive from that :- intimacy, trust, sharing, exclusivity.

In your example, the husband's involvement was merely to see the result of his lateness to a dinner. . . .

Next time (and i DO hope there are many 'next times', develop the plot along the husband-wife interactions/conversation.

Yours, and i look forward to more,

Kilroy

by the way a "writers" male characters speak to the females what kind of a person the " writer" is. "Suck it you filthy whore, deep throat my cock!" and from the first story Bryan spat on his hand and began rubbing his meat. "You like that do you Miss Slut" he spat again, "Suck it slut!"

Just how many women are turned on by that kind of macho, childish sex talk. I do not know many. I would say " Oh yes suck my cock you beautiful woman..." or some such . Not suck my cock you whore, you slut... Bet you have to write stories...don't you...to jerk off too...no real woman wants a childish creep like you..

You had a reasonable start to the story - but how you got from returning with the pesto to Chris licking up her thigh, I'll never know. I almost felt like I had walked away from a movie and returned 20 minutes later. I didn't read another word after that.

until the next episode 'Sarah the slut gets syph'

but then I decided to read the comments first and decided that I should pass it up. Why waste my time reading something everyone else trashed. Actually the one comment that truly stopped me from reading your story was the comment about "Suck it you filthy whore, deep throat my cock!" That only shows your disrespect for women. Though a lot of women may not deserve another's respect, it adds nothing to the story whatsoever.

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C

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P

Just a tramp wife and a stupid man.

If this is the best you can do, take up fantasy football.

C

What happened under the table remains under the table! In fact, I still have not figured out exactly what was supposed to happen there, and how. From the moment the wife ‘went under’, your story and I seemed to have lost each other. It felt like another station on the radio have just invaded the station you were on. What? One minute she hosts the neighbors for a meal; the second, every one molests the other for no good reason? Compose yourself, and maybe next time, try to build a thread that makes an effort to seem reasonable even if it is fiction.

It looks like the table is turned on saara she played around around with her boss when she worked for him now that they are married now he is doing it to her.

Pat.

Atlanta,Ga

spending 10 minutes telling us about Sarah this and Sarah that and just end up with her licking some neighbor dick and pussy and end it? it's unbelievable Bryan would storm out like that, after all, he got her from her previous man, no? and she is now --- per her own estimation --- quite beautiful at 32, looking like in her 20's, with major boob jobs, too! I can't believe Bryan is such a shallow man, after all that time she took to prepare herself for him! We can assume he's back crying to his first wife and kids now?, even after 8 years?,,,

Why don't you write the story, in a complete way?

need to place all writers of this type stories into another world through a portal that only goes one way, and then locks shut.

Divorce to follow.