Seamus Ch. 05

"Don't fucking lie to me," Neill snapped and pushed me away. I recoiled at the raw fury in his voice, aimed directly at me, as if I had done something wrong. "Stop fucking lying to me!" His hand slapped across my face with a fiery sting.

What the-? His eyes glittered with a violent cruelty that I had never seen before. Neill continued to shout, smacking my face and chest with the hard heel of his palm. I ceased to listen, my mind focussed only upon his eyes and the pain. I was dying inside. I couldn't understand what was going on. My hands never came up to defend myself, I was so flabbergasted. He hated me! That seeming hatred was what made me roar with tears. "Stop yelling- I didn't do anything-! He unlocked- the door- stood with his dick- hard- in his pants- Touched me- Stop- I said- I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't do anything wrong! I didn't do anything! I didn't want it!" Unsaid, was the guilt that I didn't do anything to stop him.

Immediately, the set on Neill's face relaxed, to its normal self. I saw a slight hurt in his face as I clasped my burning cheeks, trying to hide my tears. I started to back away, but he caught my wrist. His fingers delicately stroked my burning flesh. I was too scared to move. "It's okay," he said, like nothing had happened.

"What?" I sniffed, my eyes closed as I tried to stifle my tears.

"It's all right," Neill repeated. "You've admitted it."

Anger rose with the blood flushing my smarting cheek. "What are the hell are you talking about? I didn't do anything wrong! He fucking hurt me!"

"That's the point," he whispered. "You didn't do anything wrong. You gotta cry, you gotta cry as much as you need to, okay? Doesn't matter if all he did was stand there, mock you. If it made you feel bad, you gotta fucking let it out. You're going to have a messy head if you don't."

I never told Neill exactly what happened; it was almost as if he instinctively knew. After I calmed down a bit, he got up from where he had been lying beside me and poured us both a huge bourbon, which he mixed with some flat coke he had left on his desk. At first, I refused to drink mine, but once I saw Neill knock off his, I had a few sips, before he drank mine as well.

"More?" he asked me, as he set about mixing another.

"No," I said. "I don't think you need anymore either."

He ignored me and skulled another glass. "I love you, you know that, right?"

"I love you too," I replied. "Doesn't mean I'm going to let you destroy your liver in ten minutes flat." I got up and took the bottle off him. "No more. Now you've listened to me moan and grumble about Liam for two days now. It's enough. I'm kind of okay with what happened, but it doesn't seem like you are, yeah? You haven't said anything except talk about revenge."

Neill's temper flared. "Because revenge is the only thing an animal like that understands!"

"Yeah," I said, "But it's me he's got the beef with. I don't need you to go and beat him up for me. I'll sort it on my own, okay?"

"No," Neill snapped. "Cos you won't sort it. He'll just get away with it again. That's why we're going down there right now and we're teaching him a lesson." Before I could stop him, he was out the door and I was forced to follow him, if only to stop him doing something really stupid...