Seeds of Doubt, Harvest of Sorrow Ch. 02

Instead of answering my question, she walked a few step toward me and gave me a large envelope.

"My name is Pauline Keptner and I represent your wife Catherine. This is a Restraining Order that bars you from coming into contact with your wife and your daughter Chantal for the next 10 days. You may NOT contact them for any reason. If you do I will have you prosecuted for violating a court order."

She then handled me another envelope and said in an even colder voice.

"Now this is a copy of the Legal Separation paperwork that will be filed tomorrow. It basically says that you both are now legally separated. Later this week you will be served with divorce paperwork. This will start the divorce process. It should take anywhere between 4-6 months and then you both will be divorced and be free to move forward with your lives."

After looking at me with an air of contempt for a few second, she turned around and got out of my office.

To make a long story short, I also hired a lawyer and I soon learned that my wife was very serious about the divorce and it appeared that she never wanted to talk to me again. I had a long talk with Lucie on the phone a few days later, she told me that my wife had rented a small house in the suburb and she no longer wanted to have anything to do with me because I had hurt her too much and she didn't want to go through that again.

Two days later I was served with divorce papers. Catherine was asking for full custody of our daughter with my being allowed to see her one weekend every two weeks. She was also asking for child support and half or our earning, but she wanted nothing of my art business. Of course I was devastated and I had no intention of signing even thought my lawyer advised me to accept.

Then one day about a month later I was given a choice by her lawyer. Either I signed the divorce papers and retained the right to see my daughter as my wife had offered or she was going to fight me in court on the ground of mental cruelty. In so doing she was going to do all in her power so that I would never see my daughter again.

After my lawyer explained to me that there was a good chance that she could win if I didn't agree, I finally signed since I knew that if I lost my case, I wouldn't be able to endure the hell of being away from my daughter for ever. Six months later we were divorced.

Not once was I able to talk to Catherine after that fatal day when I placed that last anonymous letter before her. My only contact with Catherine was through Lucie who still remained friendly with me or through her lawyer. Of course I did go to her house to pick my daughter every second Friday afternoon, but we never talked then. I would ring the door bell then Chantal would come out with her bag of clothing for the two nights at my house.

I missed my wife terribly. I was still very much in love with her and I didn't hate her even after my divorce. In the back of my mind I was not sure that I had done the right thing in trying to force her to admit her cheating. As a matter of fact I was no longer sure that she had done anything wrong since I had no evidence that indicated that she had been with a man since that day when she ran away with our daughter. But as my father use to say, 'when you make your bed, be prepared to sleep in it'. I knew that I now had to live the consequences of my accusation.

Then to make matters worse still, when I phoned Lucie one day she was crying on the phone and I had trouble understanding what she was trying to tell me. She was finally able to explain that she was moving to Atlanta where her grandparents were still living. Jerry her husband had moved out and he was asking for a divorce.

She was extremely affected by the separation and she kept crying all the time on the phone. She did tell me though, that Catherine said to her that she still loved me but she couldn't live with me since I no longer trusted her. She finally said that she didn't believe that my ex-wife had ever cheated on me. Deep within my heart I now accepted that she was right and that I had made the worst mistake in my life in not trying harder to find the truth about the anonymous letters.

Catherine

My daughter and my husband were my whole life. Everything I did and every thought I had concerned them, they were all that mattered to me. Ben was the best husband that a woman could ask for. I knew that he loved me very much and he adored our daughter. The fact that he spent so much time with us was proof enough of that.

Our love life was fantastic and he never failed to give me intense orgasms every time we made love. We had a very active sex life; we made love at least three times per week even after five years of marriage.

Ben was very generous with us. He often bought presents for Chantal and he took us to restaurants all the time. One day he even came home with a brand new car for me, he had exchanged my old car for a new SUV. We went shopping together every week and at least twice per month he took me to eat out in fancy restaurants and then afterwards we went dancing.

Yes, we had the perfect marriage until this fatal day. He came home from work that day and he turned his head away from me when I tried to kiss him on the lips. I knew then that something was terribly wrong.

When he placed the large manila envelope in front of me as I sat there at the kitchen table, I felt sick and I began to shake all over. Somehow I knew that something terrible was going to happen to me.

Then before I could reach for the envelope, he began to tell me about another letter that he received about two months previously. I couldn't believe what he was telling me. Someone had written to my husband that he was aware of the hidden mole I had on my left breast, there was no way for me to explain how anybody beside my husband could have seen it.

When I was in high school I only let a few of my dates fondle me over my clothing. Later when I was dating while attending university, there were no more than half a dozen young men that sucked on my breasts and they always did this in the dark while we were inside a car. I was sure that no one has ever seen my breasts except Ben.

For a few seconds I thought that this was all a big joke. But I soon realized that he was dead serious about the whole thing. Ben then told me to look inside the envelope since it contained another anonymous message he had received from the same man that very same afternoon.

I first pulled the black piece of cloth from the envelope and it turned out to be black panties. Then I read what was written on the sheet of paper that was with the panties in the envelope.

I was stunned and I had to read the paragraph once again before the horror of what was happening to me finally hit home. Ben was accusing me of cheating on him. I then experienced the full spectrum of painful emotions, surprise, sadness, extreme deception, rage then sadness. Yes I was sad that my husband that I respected and loved so much would think so low of me and imagined that I could do such a thing.

I wanted to prove him wrong so I ran up the stairs to my room so as to get the black panties that we had bought the previous week at the mall. I looked in the drawer of the bureau where they should have been but they were not there even though I did see the matching bra there. I then looked in all the other drawers, nothing.

I slowly got down into the kitchen crying and angry at Ben. Once more I insisted that I had never cheated on him even though I couldn't explain all of this. I had the impression that he didn't seem to believe me and I got angrier still at him. Then, under the influence of strong emotions and deep deception for his lack of trust in me, I said to him.

"If you have such a low opinion of me then there is no need for me to remain in your presence. Take the roast out of the oven yourself; I am going into my room where you won't have to look at me."

We didn't talk much for the next few days and we never discussed the matter of the panties again after that. Gradually things did improve between us after a couple of week but it did take longer for our sex life to get back on track after that deplorable incident.

After a couple of months we were back to making love even more often than we had before and one day I got the idea to surprise Ben by shaving the hair off my pussy like he had often suggested before.

That same night he was pleasantly surprise when he discovered that I had shaved myself down there and for the next couple of weeks we made love almost every night until that day when he came back home with another letter and he expected me to once again explain the content of that letter.

It seemed that whoever was sending these letters to Ben knew about my pussy being shaven and he also knew about my the little patch of hair that I had neglect to shave. There was also the mention of my being noisy when we made love. I was shocked and scared when Ben made me read the note inside the letter then to make things still worse; there was a small strand of hair in the envelope tied with a green ribbon.

The instant that I saw it I knew where it came from. Ben took a very accusing attitude towards me and he asked me to explain how this could be happening.

Once again I went into a fit of crying and I denied everything. Then I saw that look on his face, I knew that he didn't believe me. So I ran into my room crying in anger and in self pity.

Later in the evening I heard Ben driving away in his car and he never came back home that night. All through the next day I didn't hear from him and I knew that he had left me. So I phoned Lucie and I asked her if Chantal and I could move in with her for a few days until I could find a place of my own.

Lucie's husband, Jerry, was most agreeable and helpful to us during our stay in their house. He even advised me to have Ben serve with a Restraining Order so that he wouldn't try to get Chantal away from me until I could think things over for a while.

Events progressed from then on and Lucie and Jerry made me understand after a few days that Ben would never get over the fact that in his mind he believed that I was cheating on him and that I should divorce him for Chantal's sake. In Ben's mind, I had broken my marriage vows and cheated on him. I was devastated to be away from him but at the same time I knew that I just wouldn't be able to endure the deep pain that I knew I was going to experience each time he would look at me. This pain which I knew would soon change to hatred after a while.

On Jerry's advice I asked my lawyer to begin the divorce procedure. On many occasions I came very close to calling Ben and asking him if we could talk. But Jerry was a great help and support to me and he made me understand each time that I was tempted to contact Ben that it was not a good idea. As he explained to me, Ben had acted like a very jealous husband and he had probably fabricated the existence of these letters just to increase my dependence on him. Naturally Lucie agreed with him -- she never contradicted him -- and they both made me understand that if Ben really wanted me back he should be the one to contact me.

Until he signed the divorce papers Ben had been able to see our daughter many times at Lucie's house and he even spent a couple of weekends with her. But much to my regret, I never saw him face to face. I would drop my daughter at her house then on Jerry's advice I immediately drove away so that he wouldn't have to talk to me.

By the intermediary of our two lawyers, we both finally agreed to the condition of the divorce and the papers were signed after six months. I was devastated since even though I was the one that had initiated the divorce procedures, I never thought it would have come to that. At first I only wanted to scare Ben and to teach him a lesson. He had no right to mistrust me without substantial proof and his accusing me of cheating on him had hurt me terribly.

Later, once everything was over, when Ben came to my house to pick our daughter every alternate weekend, I would hide behind the curtain and watch him through a crack. It caused me so much pain to see him, I still loved him so much and I could tell that he had lost a lot of weight and he looked so tired. It would have been so wonderful to rush out to him and hold him in my arms, kissing him and yes making love to him. But I was no longer married to him then and I felt devastated.

But Lucie and especially Jerry were of great help to me. Every time that Jerry came in my part of the city with potential customers -- he did that very often -- he would always stop to visit me and help me around the house with the odd jobs. By then I was working full time as a teacher in a school not far from where I was living. My daughter Chantal was also in her first grade in my school and it was very convenient for both of us.

But just over two months after my divorce, events began to happen very fast around me.

One day Jerry had a long talk with me and he explained to me that things were not going too well between him and Lucie. He didn't say exactly what the problem was and I didn't dare ask him. The next thing that I knew, a crying Lucie was telling me on the phone that Jerry had moved out on her and he was asking for a divorce.

I was shocked and very sad of course. They were both my best friends, they had helped me so much when I moved out on Bed and now I couldn't do anything to help them.

For the next couple of weeks, I didn't get to see Ben or Lucie a lot until one evening she phoned me and she said that she was going back to live in Atlanta where her grandparents were still living.

After Lucie moved away, Jerry continued to be my friend and he often stopped at my house. Soon I noticed that he cared for me more strongly than friend should. But I was lonely and I didn't discourage him. Then he was asking me out and soon we were kissing and he proclaimed his love for me after a few months.

I was not in love with him even though I did like him a lot. I could tell though that my daughter Chantal wasn't too friendly toward him. One day I asked her why she was acting that way toward Jerry and she said that she didn't want anyone to replace her father. I explained to her that Jerry would never replace her father and I even surprised myself by telling her that I still loved her father but we had strong points of disagreement on adult matters and that is why we were no longer living together.

It shocked me to discover how much she still cared for her father and on that day I realized the terrible mistake I had made in acting so quickly with my divorce. We both cared for Ben and I realized that I had been ill advised in being encouraged to divorce my husband, but now it was too late and there was no turning back.

After a few more months Jerry told me one day that he and Lucie were now legally divorce and he was now free to ask me to marry him. I didn't want to get married again ever but we did continue to date and soon we were having sex together. He kept on asking me to marry him and even though I didn't love him I finally figured that before my daughter should discover that he was often spending the night in my bed it would be much more appropriate that I became Jerry's wife.

Ben

One Friday evening when I went to Catherine's house to pick my daughter I noticed a blue Honda parked behind Catherine's SUV in the driveway. After Chantal got out of the house and was sitting in my car, I asked her about the black car.

"It belongs to Uncle Jerry"

At first I couldn't figure who was that Jerry and owner of the blue Honda that my daughter was referring, but then I did remember often seeing that same car parked in front of Lucie's house. Yes, I now knew who Jerry was. But for my daughter to refer to him as "Uncle Jerry" was something completely unacceptable to me.

"But what is he doing at your mom's house sweetie?"

I suppose that my daughter could detect a trace of frustration in my voice. She turned toward me with an impatient expression.

"I don't know daddy, he comes to our house all the time. He sometimes mows the lawn and helps mommy around the house, she told me to call him Uncle Jerry."

I was beyond being shocked. That son of a bitch, I said to myself, he was after Catherine and she was too stupid to realize it. Unless ...unless she knew about his less than honorable intentions and she didn't mind his trying to seduce her.

It then started me to think. My wife had run to Lucie's house with my daughter that day when she moved away from home. Jerry was staying with Lucie at the time and he must have realized how vulnerable Catherine was at the time. He probably set his mind on seducing her then.

Yes, the more I thought about it the more it all fitted in. I was now driving slowly toward my house while Chantal was quietly sitting next to me I was lost in my thoughts thinking about Jerry.

He was the one that sold her the house and he was always giving her advice. The restriction order and the divorce that came so quickly were most probably his ideas, I knew that Catherine would never had done this on her own without meeting with me before doing this. Even his breaking up with Lucie was all planned so that he could be free to seduce Catherine. It all fitted in now, he was planning to move in with her and... But wait a minute...no, no, I couldn't even formulate clearly the thought that was in my mind since it was so monstrous, so wicked and evil.

Could it be that Jerry was the one that had sent those three anonymous letters to me? Could someone be so evil so as to plan during all those months the destruction of my marriage so that he could get my wife in the end? After all he did have the opportunity since I do recall that Catherine once told me that he sometimes came to the house to visit Lucie when she was teaching.

Yes it all fitted in. He certainly had the opportunity to take my wife black panties from her bureau; he also could have removed her pubic hair from the trash can in her room. Since my wife and Lucie had no secrets from each other, Lucie must have known about the mole on my wife breast as well as her shaved pussy. All of a sudden I had to pull my car on the side of the street on which I was driving; I no longer had strength in my legs.

Dear God, what have I done? I knew now that my wife had never cheated on me, I had pushed her out of my marriage with all those constant accusations. All of a sudden I couldn't help myself and I began to cry like a baby. When I came back to my sense a short time later, my daughter was also crying next to me and she was pressing her small body against me.

"What is wrong daddy? Did I say something wrong, I am sorry if I did?"

"No honey you did nothing wrong. It is daddy that did a bad thing and this is why I am crying now.

I drove home and I didn't dare ask her anything else about 'Uncle Jerry' during that week-end. But many times during the next two weeks I drove past Catherine's house and on two occasions I did see Jerry's car parked in the driveway.

It's impossible for me to describe the maelstrom of emotions that I experienced when I saw his car parked there. At first I felt deep sorrow and tears were forming in my eyes before I realized it. Once I even had to park my car a few houses away from my ex-wife's house because of the strong emotions that I felt. Then rage and a strong desire for vengeance took hold of me.

As I sat in my car once and looking into the rearview mirror and I could still see his blue Honda parked there next to Catherine's SUV in the driveway. Along with anger, a feeling of self pity took hold of me. In the same house where the two persons that I loved the most in the world were in that moment, there was also with them an evil man who had probably been responsible for the breakup of my marriage. He was now with her at this very moment and he was working on seducing my wife. Yes in the back of my mind Catherine was still my wife even though I had signed the divorce papers.